“Lies,” her father spat. “If you surrender, she’ll put you in irons and then turn her army on us. She
“Tent’s up,” Daria said as she approached. The other woman’s presence was an endless comfort to won’t suffer those who have slandered her name for so long to live—it’s against her nature.”
Zarrah knew that as well as she knew that the sun rose in the east. But she also knew that it was a risk they needed to take. They could not win this fight on the battlefield, outnumbered as they were, and Keris …
Was not coming.
She squeezed her eyes shut, struggling against the rising tide of anguish that threatened to drown her with each breath she took, only for his voice to echo in her thoughts. Fight, Valcotta.
Except how could she fight when the plan she’d created was in shambles? Everything had hung upon having the numbers, and the strength, to give Valcottans the truth. She hadn’t needed soldiers to fight the Imperial Army; she’d needed them to elevate her voice. She’d needed them to amplify her words so that she could pull back the curtain and reveal the monster wearing the crown, allowing all the men and women wearing imperial uniforms to see who, and what, they were fighting for.
“You have a decision to make,” her father finally said. “We need to accept that for all they might be There was a reason the Usurper was so desperate to silence anyone who spoke the truth. She knew that if it were to spread, it would be her damnation.
Yet despite everything she, Keris, and the rebels had done, her aunt had once again managed to silence them.
Tyranny had won.
Zarrah’s eyes skipped over those in the room, knowing she’d failed them. Her father. Daria. Saam.
Her chest tightened, for her friend had spent the entire journey begging her to make abolishing the ban on handball her first act as empress. Such a stupid, inconsequential thing to focus on, yet knowing she’d failed to deliver even that made her eyes burn.
Handball …
Zarrah stiffened, an idea slowly forming in her mind as she stared at Saam, only jerking back into the moment when he frowned at her scrutiny.
The tent faded away, and Zarrah saw herself standing on the dam outside of Nerastis, facing the gap Zarrah wheeled on Sephra. “Tell her I agree to the terms.”
The other woman blinked, clearly surprised. “You will come with me now?”
Zarrah shook her head. “I will surrender to my aunt, and only my aunt. Tell her to meet me in Meritt. Not the town itself, the stadium.”
“The handball court?” Sephra’s nose wrinkled, clearly sharing the Usurper’s disgust for the game.
“You’d make a spectacle of it, then.”
“Those are my terms,” Zarrah said. “Do you agree, or will it be war between us?”
Sephra was silent for a long moment; then she shrugged. “Perform all you want, Zarrah. Your name will be soon forgotten.”
I doubt it, Zarrah thought to herself as Saam escorted the woman out, waiting until she’d be well out of earshot before rounding on her father. “Make ready to retreat. Show no hesitation.”
“She offers only lies, Zarrah,” he snarled. “She will take you in irons even as she orders pursuit.
Will chase us south and into Teraford. Might well cross the border rather than allow us to live.”
imperial bodyguard as long as Zarrah could remember, and other than Welran, no one was more loyal
“If my plan works, it won’t come to that. But if it does, the Ter queen will have no choice but to raise arms, and she is not without allies in the south. That may be where you find your victory against the Usurper.”
“At what cost?” her father shouted. “And to what end, if you are dead at her hands?” Catching hold of her shoulders, he shook her. “This is the last thing Keris would want you to do. We will retreat, but niece, Zarrah Anaphora, agrees to surrender herself to the Empress’s care, those who have unlawfullyit will be with you at our head, Empress.”
“This is not about Keris,” she said, not sure if that was truth or lie, for her heart was his, every aspect of this fight twisted into her feelings for him. “As it is, the Usurper will not kill me.”
“How can you believe that?” he demanded. “You have done more to harm her than anyone alive.
Turned thousands against her. Betrayed her by siding with her greatest enemy. She hates you, Zarrah, and the best you could hope for is a swift death.”
“She doesn’t hate me.” Zarrah pressed a hand to her heart, shocked to discover that she still cared what her aunt thought of her.
She squeezed her eyes shut, struggling against the rising tide of anguish that threatened to drown her How much easier would it be if she could erase the years since her mother’s death and forget how her aunt had stood by her? How she’d held her while tears drenched her cheeks and sobs wracked her body? How she’d trained Zarrah to fight and be strong, to defend herself and her country? But every memory remained. “She loves me.”
“That mad bitch doesn’t know how to love!” her father shouted. “She’s a monster!”
“Perhaps not love as you and I know it,” Zarrah answered, “but it is the best word for how she feels about me. And it is not so much how she feels about me that ensures my safety, but her need for me to love her as I once did. Her need for me to worship her as a savior, as a mother, as I once did.
Her obsession is me, and even if she needs to keep me locked up until the end of my days, she’ll do so because she’s incapable of accepting that I’ll never be hers again.”
“This is lunacy.” Her father pressed his fingers to his temples, twisting away from her. “I can’t agree to it. I won’t. ”
“It’s not your choice.”
Her chest tightened, for her friend had spent the entire journey begging her to make abolishing the ban She met Daria’s gaze, the other woman having stood silently in the corner of the tent the entire conversation. “Make ready.”
Daria clenched her teeth. “Goddamn it, Zarrah.” She gave a sharp shake of her head. “Keris would beg you not to do this, and I wish he were here, for he would convince you to see reason.”
“I am the Empress of Valcotta,” Zarrah answered. “My will is my own, not the King of
Maridrina’s.”
Unlike my heart.
Silence stretched, and fear rose in Zarrah’s chest that they would not abide. That despite all her plans, it would still come to battle and death, as it always had. She wanted to tell them to trust her, but this was her leap of faith, not theirs, and she needed them to retreat without hesitation.
Daria slowly inclined her head. “If this is your will, then so shall it be, Your Imperial Majesty.”
She started to leave, but Zarrah caught hold of her friend’s arm, pulling her close. “Take care of them for me. Don’t give up.”
Scrubbing at her eyes, Daria nodded, then left the tent.
“Please don’t do this.”
At her father’s words, Zarrah turned around. “I’m not giving up,” she said. “This isn’t the end.”
“Then why do I feel as though I’m losing you?” His shoulders slumped, and for the first time since they’d been reunited, Zarrah saw her father’s age. Saw the weathered skin and grey hair, the age spots on his hands. The exhaustion.