He thrusts against me.
“What?” I gasp as he pushes again, and again, and again. “Oh God,” I moan, his pace stirring pleasure deep within me. “Wh-why?”
“Because,” he says, thrusting again. I catch the tension in his shoulders. He’s holding back. From the thick veins in his neck and the tight clench of his jaw, he could give more, wants to give more. “Even though you might not believe it, I want you to be happy.” He thrusts again, and my back arches as my body pulses. Begs. “I don’t want to trap you.” Another thrust. Two more, that’s all it’s going to take. “I don’t want you to feel trapped.” Thrust.
“Yes, God, yes, Huxley.” I grip him and meet his thrusts with my own. I’m right there, on the edge. Pleasure pools at the base of my spine, this euphoric feeling amplifying with every push of his erection against my clit.
So close.
God, I’m so close.
“I just want you happy,” he says, and I hear him.
I’m listening to everything he’s saying to me, but it’s not quite registering in my head.
His words aren’t making sense, because all I can focus on is teetering on the edge of my orgasm and wanting to fall over. I want to fall over with him.
“How close are you?” I ask him.
“Right . . . there,” he groans.
“Then take it, take me. Harder, Huxley.”
He smooths his hand down to my ass, where he grips me tightly and pulls me all the way against him, intensifying the connection. That’s all it takes.
One thrust and I’m done.
Every last ounce of pleasure gathers, coils, into the center of my body, only to be ripped into millions of joyous pieces as my body combusts underneath him.
“Oh, fuck,” I yell. “Yes, Huxley.”
“Jesus,” he mutters as he drives harder and harder until he stills, groans loudly, and then collapses on top of me.
He props his weight up with one arm on the ground, but his head tilts down, our foreheads connecting. It’s as close as our mouths have been this entire time, making me realize that the man might have just dry-humped me to completion, but he never once laid his lips on mine.
Why?
My eyes search out his and I catch him taking a few large breaths before making eye contact with me. Rain continues to fall on us, and in the distance, I hear the rumble of thunder for the first time since we’ve been out here.
Huxley wipes the water off his face before blinking a few times. “We should, uh . . . get back inside.”
“Yeah,” I say, breathless, still staring up at him. The pull between us is so damn strong that I want nothing more than to cling to him and be carried to his bed.
But when he stands and offers me his hand to help me up, I notice a change in him. Hesitation. Uneasiness.
And I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Huxley tugs me quickly toward the door, opens it, and hurries me inside. Then he snags my garments and guides me down the stairs carefully, making sure we don’t slip. When we reach the hallway, he takes my hand and maneuvers me toward our bedrooms. I’m curious which way he’ll take me—maybe to his shower so we can warm up?
But then he stops in front of my bedroom door and lets go of my hand. Our time is up. With a step back, he grips his neck and scans my naked body. “You should take a shower, get warmed up.”
“Yeah,” I answer awkwardly.
“Do you need anything?”
You.
A conversation.
Some understanding of what the hell we’re doing.
Maybe a brief recap of the things you said up on the roof.
“Um, I don’t think so,” I answer.
He nods. “Okay. If you want, I can order something for dinner.”
I shake my head. “It’s okay. I’m not very hungry.”
“Sure.” He takes another step back, and my hope plummets as I see him retreat once again.
Why?
Why does he do this?
Why does he take one giant leap forward only to take two steps back?
And why do I even care?
Yeah, I know . . . I know.
Everyone knows. Because somehow, someway, I’ve started to care about him.
Chapter Seventeen
LOTTIE
“Where are you?” Kelsey asks over the phone as I lean against the white brick of the breast pump store.
“You don’t want to know.”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Okay, I’m at a breast pump store, waiting for Ellie to show up so we can shop together.”