“Yeah, I can’t imagine people wanting to do business with you after you’ve claimed a fake fiancée and child all in one day.”
“Doesn’t bode well for me.”
I nudge him with my shoulder. “I know I’ve said it before, but it was a pretty idiotic move.”
He chuckles, pulls me closer against his chest, and kisses me on the top of the head. “Yes, you’ve made that statement before.”
“Hey, you guys, over here,” we hear Dave say from behind us. Together, we turn around to find Dave and Ellie wearing jeans and matching white button-up tops, walking toward us with their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. They are something else.
Huxley lifts his hand in a wave and then quietly says to me, “I’ll figure out a way to make this better, I promise. Let’s just get through today.”
“Okay.” I give him a squeeze, and then we join Dave and Ellie.
“Oh, wow, you look amazing,” Ellie says, pulling me into a hug. “You’re positively glowing in this dress.” I chose to wear a flowy dress just in case I’m supposed to be showing, which I’m not. “Isn’t she glowing, Dave?”
“She is,” Dave says with a sly smile. “She looks like a woman in love.” I nearly choke on my own saliva.
I cough a few times and Huxley rubs my back. “You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I cough again. “Just swallowed wrong for a second.” I gather myself and smile at everyone. “Uh, so, are we going in?” I thumb toward the door awkwardly.
“Yes, I’m so excited. I heard the dolls are so lifelike in this class that they actually pee on you. Doesn’t that sound thrilling?”
Keeping my composure, I answer, “Oh yes. Very excited for that surprise.” About as excited as I was for the fake breastmilk to fly across my face.
Dave and Ellie walk in before us, and Huxley hangs back for a second, tugging on my hand. “Everything okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, everything is fine. Why?” I ask, pasting on a smile.
“Because you’re acting weird.”
“Am I?” I ask in a high-pitched tone. “I feel as though I’m normal.”
He studies me for a few beats before reaching for the door and opening it for me. Hand on my lower back, he guides me in to where Dave and Ellie are waiting for us. Ellie holds up a baby doll and says, “We got our baby. His name is Enoch. Isn’t he dreamy?”
Dreamy?
It’s a doll.
I really want to know what species Ellie is because there’s no way she’s human. Not even close to it. She’s an odd one.
“What a lovely baby,” I say. “Very . . . plasticky.”
Huxley tugs on my arm toward the registration desk. He lowers his mouth to my ear and in an amused tone, he asks, “Plasticky?”
I chuckle softly. “I don’t know how to compliment a fake baby.”
“Hello, who is the reservation under?” the receptionist asks.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cane,” Huxley says, shocking me.
“Ah, I have you right here. Let me go grab your baby and supplies.”
When she takes off, I turn to Huxley with an arched brow. “Mr. and Mrs. Cane?”
He smirks. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Uh . . . what?” I ask, about to choke on my saliva again.
He laughs and tugs me closer to him to place a kiss on the top of my head. “Your fear of being attached to me is making me feel like a god today.”
The receptionist comes back out and hands us a girl doll. “Her name is Judith. She’s a cranky one.”
Judith?
Are we taking care of a seventy-year-old?
I take the baby and glance down at it . . .
“Good Jesus,” I whisper. “She’s missing an eye.”
The receptionist nods. “Not all babies are perfect.”
“But this baby doesn’t look as though it was born like this, it looks as though it was mauled by a pack of coyotes.”
“More like a brothel of chihuahuas,” the receptionist says. “Judith has been through a lot, but I know you two will take great care of her.” The receptionist motions toward the room. “Hurry on in, the class will be starting soon.”
I tuck Judith in my arm and turn toward Ellie and Dave, who are cuddling Enoch as if he’s their own. Sorry, Judith, we probably won’t be having the same bond.
“She’s what nightmares are made of,” Huxley whispers in my ear.