I remember taking this and the exact feeling I felt while taking it. I was completely overjoyed.
Now, I’d give anything to feel that feeling again. Instead, all I feel is . . . empty.
Chapter Twenty-Two
HUXLEY
“What are you going to say to him?” Breaker asks while pacing the length of my office.
“I’m just going to come out with it. Ask him point-blank if he knew. What’s the use of beating around the bush?”
JP bounces his legs up and down as he perches in one of the chairs in the sitting area of my office. “I think being direct is key. I believe he’d appreciate that more.”
“I think so too,” Breaker adds. “Are you going to pass it off as a funny thing you did? Or take it seriously?”
“Seriously,” I answer as my mind switches over to Lottie.
Seeing her lying on the goddamn floor, tears streaming from her eyes, is fucking gnawing at my stomach. Eating away at me with every breath I take. Instead of staying with me, she thought it would be better if she stayed at her sister’s, where she had to sleep on the floor. That’s how much she didn’t want to be around me. That’s how much I should be ashamed. My girl would rather sleep on the floor than share a bed with me. Or even in a bed across the hall from me.
“I think if I go in with a serious tone, explain everything rather than joke around about it, then I’m going to save my ass.”
“Smart approach,” Breaker says and then lets out a deep breath. “Fuck, I hope he hasn’t said much to anyone.”
“I still don’t get how he knows,” JP says. “How did they find out? We haven’t said a goddamn word to anyone, and everyone else has an NDA.” JP scratches his head. “Do you think it was Kelsey?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Did Lottie seem happy to see you this morning?” JP winces.
After Lottie took off yesterday, I sent a text to my brothers, telling them it wasn’t Lottie, and then went into detail about how I fucked up everything with her. I blamed them, they blamed me. I took responsibility because, let’s be honest, this entire mess is my fault. Because I have some sick drive to prove—to prove what? That I can secure a deal? What’s the point of securing a deal if, in the end, I hurt the people who matter the most to me?
I hurt my brothers.
And I hurt Lottie.
No deal is bigger than that.
“No,” I say, remembering the grief-stricken look on her face. “She didn’t even say much.”
“Did you apologize?” JP asks.
“Of course I fucking apologized. Do you think I just went over there for the hell of it?”
“I’m just checking,” JP says in a defensive tone. “You’ve screwed up a lot lately. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t screw that up too.”
“Oh no, I did. I fucked that up big time. The only thing I have going for me is that she said she’d have dinner with me tonight.”
“Oh shit, really?” Breaker asks. “What are you going to do?”
“Beg for her forgiveness. What else is there to do?”
“Prove to her how sorry you are.”
“And how would I do that?” I ask.
Breaker shrugs. “Hell if I know. It’s why I’m not in a relationship. I don’t know how to handle women.”
“I don’t think that’s the reason,” JP says. “You’re just an idiot.”
“Says the guy who’s not in a relationship either,” Breaker says.
“By choice,” JP shoots back. “If I wanted to be in a relationship, then I would be.”
“Uh-huh.” Breaker eyes him up and down. “And how’s that flirting going with Kelsey, by the way?”
“Fine. If I turned it up a notch, she’d be all over me.”
Breaker scoffs. “Yeah . . . all over you.” He rolls his eyes, and I’m about to snap at my brothers when Karla comes into my office.
She raps her knuckles on the doorframe and says, “The front just informed me Mr. Toney is on his way up.”
“Thank you, Karla.” She gives me a curt nod and then disappears. “You two need to get the hell out of here.” I need to deal with this on my own.
They gather their things and head toward the door. “Good luck, man,” Breaker says with a nod. JP gives me a quick nod too, and then I’m left alone in my office.
Idly, I sit in my chair, staring at my computer screen. I’m a lucky son of a bitch that my brothers are supportive rather than wanting to murder me for possibly fucking up our reputation. Our livelihood, as well as the company’s employees. They could be dicks, but they’re choosing not to be, and I’m really appreciative of it. It’s tough enough knowing I damaged my relationship with Lottie, I’m not sure I’d know what to do without my brothers. And, yes, I said damaged. It’s not over. I’m going to get Lottie back. She’s mine. Forever.