I shake my head. “Worse. He came after me.”
Kelsey sits taller. “Oh, tell me more.”
Getting into the storytelling, I say, “I was inches from reaching my room when he snagged my hand from behind. And before I knew it, I was pinned against the wall.”
Kelsey gasps, hand to her chest. “Like . . . in a sexual way?”
I slowly nod.
“Lottie, what the hell did you do?”
“I did absolutely nothing. He was the one doing all the things.”
Kelsey nibbles on her thumb. “What kind of things?”
“He tugged my robe open.”
“He did not.” Her eyes widen and then she whispers, “Did he?”
“He did. But it never fell open, just was undone . . . undone enough for him to, uh, you know . . . lower his hand.”
Kelsey slaps the table. “Stop, he did not. He . . . he . . . fingered you?”
I nod. “Yup. He did.”
Hands by her head, Kelsey pretends her head is exploding. “You went from fighting, at each other’s throats, to him touching you in the hallway. How the hell does that even work?”
“I don’t know, and for the life of me, I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to stop it. I wanted him to keep doing what he was doing, and I wanted it to last all night.” I cover my forehead with my hand. “God, Kelsey, am I a whore?”
She laughs. “No. You aren’t a whore, but you are confusing, that’s for sure. I never would’ve thought you were interested in doing something like that with him. Not with the way you two seem to hate each other.”
“He said I hate him, but he doesn’t hate me. But I guess even if I think he’s an asshole, I still want his fingers inside me.” I shrug. “I’m pretty sure that means I’m fucked in the head.”
“They always say there’s a thin line between love and hate.”
“Oh no, don’t start with that. There’s no love involved. Lust . . . yes. The man is a dream, I’m not going to deny that. From the way he talks with such a filthy mouth, to his strong hold, to the domineering stance of his body and how he uses it to his advantage . . . yeah, everything about him screams ‘amazing, drop everything you’re doing, ear-piercing sex.’”
“One look at him and I’d believe that. And his brothers.”
“Makes you wonder what their parents are like.”
“Ooo, imagine an older man that looks just like them. A man in his sixties, salt-and-pepper hair, slaps you on the ass when you’re naughty.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Is this some sort of fantasy you’ve never told me about?”
“Old guys can be hot too.”
“Sixties . . . that could be our dad.”
“I never judge. Love is love. Lust is lust. As long as everyone gives consent, let people live.”
“Okay.” I chuckle. “That’s fair.”
“So . . . did he finish you off?”
I bite my bottom lip and nod. “He did, and it was explosive. Kelsey, I’ve never had an O like that before. I was shaking after, and I know this is TMI, but when I went back in my room, I had to get off again because I was so geared up from having him that close, touching me, talking to me. It was too much.”
“I can imagine. I can’t remember the last time I even kissed a man, let alone have someone do that.”
Feeling slightly awkward, I say, “He sucked his fingers after.”
“Stahp!” Kelsey yells and clutches her chest. “Oh my fuck.”
“I know.” I cover my eyes. “It was easily the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. And then he grabbed me by the chin, forced me to look at him, and told me that he promised you’d get your chance to pitch the business. In that moment, when he was speaking to me, it felt as if he was the same guy I went to Chipotle with. He wasn’t an asshole, he wasn’t provoking me, he was just being normal, sincere.” Likeable. I look Kelsey in the eyes. “It confused me.”
“Confused you how . . . like you might be feeling differently about him?”
I look away. “I mean . . . maybe. But just differently in the way that maybe I don’t hate him as much. I still think he’s an asshole, and I think one wrong thing he says to me will set me off, but that gesture . . . smoothed out some of the rough edges, if that makes sense.”
“It does.” My phone beeps and I snag it from the table as Kelsey continues, “See? Maybe there’s a chance for you two. Maybe you’ll have a proper working relationship.”