I may be too lenient in my own life, but if you cross my friends, I’ve been known to hold petty-level grudges. So, for Ryan’s sake, I’ll skip out on speaking to his mom tonight, especially after I have few drinks.
“See you soon?” I ask.
“I’ll come find you.”
We pull away, but not before fingers linger a little longer than they should for two people who are pretending.
“So, you are fucking my celebrity man crush,” Rio says as he wraps me in a hug.
“We’re not fucking. We’re using this as a practice run. He has to be my believable boyfriend in front of my childhood friends in a couple weeks.”
Rio turns away from the group of his teammates, keeping his voice low. “There’s absolutely no way to convince me that you’re not sleeping with your roommate. Have you told Stevie yet?”
“No, because we aren’t. At least not yet. He did offer to help me with that problem I told you about.”
“Are you kidding?” Rio’s eyes widen. “That was a volunteer thing? I would’ve offered months ago!”
I shoot him a blank expression.
“Yeah. Yeah. I know.”
“How wild that we’re at Zanders and Stevie’s engagement party. Did you know?”
“Maddison filled us when we got here.”
I say hello to Maddison and his wife as well as the rest of the guys I fly around the country for work while we wait for the guests of honor to arrive. Ryan is still hanging out with his parents by the time the main doors open, and the place erupts with cheers and celebration.
Stevie looks absolutely radiant walking through the door, and I’m sure her smile is splitting across her face, but I can’t tell due to her palms covering her mouth in surprise.
Even from across the room, I can see the rock on her left hand and it’s fucking huge. The man who loves nothing more than to spoil her wraps her up from behind, endlessly proud that he pulled off this surprise and gets to show off his girl in the process.
I take a step towards them, but hold myself back, wanting to let their families congratulate them first.
Stevie’s eyes track the room, looking for one person in particular and when they land on her twin brother, she instantly takes off towards him. Ryan meets her halfway with quick strides, picking her up in a hug.
Surprisingly, I’ve kept my emotions in check. Instead of tears, I’ve channeled them into giddy smiles and bouncing toes, wanting to go wrap my girl in a hug. But when Ryan pulls away from his sister, wearing the most stunning smile, he also wipes at his eyes.
My roommate isn’t an emotional man. That much is clear, but Stevie is always his exception. He loves her fiercely, and the fact he’s unguarded enough to shed a few tears for her in public, gives me hope that maybe one day, someone else will make him just as vulnerable.
When he goes in to hug her once again, I have to shift my attention to Zanders so I don’t break my ten-minute-no-crying streak. Zanders embraces his sister and dad, quickly followed by his best friends, the Maddisons.
Rio urges a gin and tonic in my hand, swinging an arm over my shoulders. “You good?”
“I’m good.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
There’s a lull once Stevie hugs her dad and she looks my way. I take that as my cue, setting my drink down and as quickly as I can move in my heels, I throw my arms around her shoulders in a squeeze.
“Did you know?” she asks in our embrace.
“I had no idea! Did you know?”
“I had no clue!” she bursts with a laugh.
“Is this why you didn’t text me back?”
“Yeah, about that—”
“Let me see that rock.” I take her hand in mine, interrupting because this moment is about her and not her brother and me. “Dear God, Zee.”
At that moment, Zanders swings an arm over my shoulders. “Do you like it?”
“I would’ve preferred you to ask for my help, but even if you did, I don’t think it could be any more perfect.”
Stevie is pulled in another direction, so I turn to hug her new fiancé. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Indy.” Zanders wears a content smile on his face, but it morphs to concern as he lowers his voice, speaking for no one else to hear. “Are you doing okay?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
“Well, because when we met a year ago, you had a ring picked out and a potential wedding date set. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier you’re not with that guy, but it hasn’t been that long.” He eyes me with caution. “Ryan said you’d be happy, and I don’t doubt that you are. I just want to check in, is all. I don’t want to be inconsiderate here.”
“Oh God, no.” I brush him off. “This has nothing to do with me. I could not be happier for you two. I promise. I’m good.”
“Good.” Zanders eyes my outfit. Of all my friends, he understands my appreciation of fashion. “Love the dress.”
“Love the suit.”
Stevie and Ryan are pulled back into their own little world as they clink their bottles of beer together, sharing a moment. Zanders and I watch the Shay siblings from across the room.
“You don’t think eight months is that long?” I ask.
“I think eight hours was too long to grieve for that idiot, but I know you, Indy. You feel things more than most people, so no, I don’t think eight months is that long. You’re loyal to a fault and when you love someone, every fiber in your body feels it.”
“But what if that sense of love and loyalty was all a lie? What if the feelings I thought I felt for Alex were simply pushed by my own narrative because I thought we would build the life I wanted? In that case, is eight months long enough?”
Zanders chuckles. “If you’re asking me if eight months is long enough to understand Alex didn’t deserve you, and maybe, just maybe there’s someone else you’re realizing might, then yes, I think eight months is eight months too long.”
Looking up, Zanders wears a knowing grin. “Now, I’m going to go dance with my fiancée. There’s another Shay over there who I know for a fact wouldn’t mind spending his evening with you.”
I chuckle. “Okay, matchmaker.”
“What can I say? I’m in love!” Zanders takes off, hands out to the side, but he turns around to walk backwards, facing me for a moment. “Just have fun, yeah?”
Just have fun.
Fuck it. That’s exactly what I need to do. Stop overanalyzing this whole situation. Stop wondering if I’ve honored my past feelings long enough to move on. Just have fun.
And the person I enjoy spending my time with the most happens to be here tonight looking like an absolute snack in that navy-blue suit.
I follow Zanders to the twins.
“We’re dancing,” he says to Stevie, taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.
Rounding Ryan, I lean my elbows back on the bar table, facing him.
His eyes take a lazy trail down my body. “And what are we doing?”
“Good question.” I take a swig of Ryan’s beer. “What are we doing?”
The question masks a far more important one: How much of this is going to be pretend?