They are our minds, I think—or rather, the way our minds show up in this moment I’ve made for us.
I run my fingers along the beautiful yellow thread of Tyler’s that ties to my wrist, and I learn something new about him.
“It wasn’t just Lae! You’re part Syldrathi too, but you never knew.”
“Who’s Lae?” he asks, reaching up to touch the thread between us.
Kal and I exchange a glance, a sad smile.
“A kinswoman of mine,” Kal says simply. “My family’s greatest pride, Brother.” He smiles. “I hope you meet her one day.”
Now that I’ve found our threads, it’s easier to see the others, a rainbow tied to our wrists and snaking away into invisibility. So I reach out and follow them, searching for the rest of our family.
A moment later, Scarlett is at the table, bound to us by bright red, her uncanny empathy finally making sense—a gift from her Waywalker mother. Her threads tie her to me, and to Kal, and a thousandfold more intricately to her twin, their bond woven between them like a tapestry of red and gold. I see the moment her mind connects with his, the moment she sees the truth of their mother. I hear her gasp, and I feel her loss.
Then comes Finian beside her, emerald green and full of life. It’s harder for him—he has no Syldrathi blood, no Eshvaren training, his mind wasn’t made for this. But he is Betraskan, and those at this table are his clan, his chosen family, and that binds him to us, his vibrant green thread a part of our whole. He’s always had so much love inside him.
Each of us holds tight to him in return, and when he flickers, we help him stay, strengthen his part of our woven rainbow with our love.
I search for Zila next, and then more urgently, scrambling for the thread I know must be there, but there’s nothing. Scarlett looks at me, tears in her eyes, and our minds connect and
oh, Zila.
Zila.
I hope you loved her, I hope you were happy.
And just as I think we’re done, I see there are more—black threads stretching away from Tyler and from Kal, and when I tug on them, I see …
Saedii Gilwraeth sitting at my parents’ table, eyebrow raised.
Wordlessly, Tyler reaches into the bowl and hands her a pea pod to shell, and something passes between them. A few more lines of thread, yellow and black entwining like a swarm of bees—vibrant but dangerous—and she takes it from him and breaks it open.
Her sharp-edged mind nearly finds the truth of Lae in me as I watch them together, but I push it away to a safer place. Some things are meant to be discovered in their own time. And seeing them together, I have a feeling they’ll meet her one day.
None of us use words, because none of us need to—our exchange is lightning quick, and the threads fly between us in the most beautiful, wild, chaotic, and perfect rainbow,
and we share our stories, and
we say I love you,
and the tapestry grows,
and
and
and …
… I begin to see.
Oh.
Oh, I see.
I see something I didn’t before, as I planned my end.
Something new sweeps through me, a possibility I’d never even imagined, so full of battle and so ardent in my defense. As if I’m slowly waking up from a very long sleep, and blinking my eyes to help them focus on what’s in front of me, I begin to see… .
It’s there in the way Fin holds fast to us, even though it takes every ounce of his strength to keep his mind connected with his clan.
It’s there in the way Scar wraps every one of us up in her love, her acceptance, the way she has every moment we’ve been together.
It’s there in the way Ty thinks of each of us before himself, in the way he fights for what is right no matter how tired he grows.
It’s there in the way Kal pushes always to find his best self, to believe in our best selves, to set aside all the world has told him to be and become what he chooses instead.
It’s there in the ferocity of Saedii’s love and loyalty, in her unflinching commitment to what she knows must be done.
They help me see something here, joined with them all.
Something I already knew.
I knew it was true when Esh told me to burn away all my bonds and ties, and I rebelled. I knew it was true when Caersan told me that the powerful take what they will, and I defied him to defend those around us.
I’ve known it all along, because my squad has shown me every time they’ve stood beside me, and they’re showing me again, right now. And they haven’t been the only ones to teach me this lesson I’ve been so slow in learning.