My godhood swirled excitedly in my chest, sensing my spiraling temper.
Fight, its voice goaded.
A light formed beneath my palms, followed by a wisp of smoke and the scent of burning maple. The sensation of frost and fire spread across my skin as the back of my hands began to shimmer.
Something tugged at my attention, as if my name were being called in a timbre only I could hear. I looked back to see Luther’s stare drilling into me. Sparks of his own power writhed angrily in his eyes. The air between us rippled, thick with the auras of two formidable godhoods screaming to be unleashed.
Almost too faintly to see, he shook his head. I took in a ragged breath and lifted my chin, and he did it again.
I looked back at Evrim and bit down hard on my tongue until I tasted the metallic tang of blood.
Evrim gave an offhand shrug. “I suppose I can take it under consideration.”
“As will I,” I snapped.
“It was your counter-offer.”
“It was the Regent’s counter-offer.” I straightened in my throne. “I’ll need to speak with all my advisors before making such an important decision.”
In truth, I’d Challenge House Benette myself before I would ever agree to any such deal, but I needed time—time to plan, time to negotiate, and time to determine whether I could train my magic enough to survive a Challenge.
“Very well,” Evrim said. “But decide quickly, Your Majesty. The Period of Challenging is short, and judgment day is coming.”
“That could have gone better,” I said sullenly, staring at the room of empty seats.
Garath and Remis had left to escort House Benette from the palace, while Luther had taken one look at my expression and made a quick excuse to pull the others away so my father and I could talk in private.
“You wear your emotions on your sleeve, Diem,” my father chided. “Your temper has always been your weakness.”
“They want me to execute innocent people and force families out of the realm. If anything is worth getting angry over, is it not that?”
“Does your anger actually help those people, or does it make you feel righteous while the situation gets worse?”
I crossed my arms and looked away. The wound cut deeper than he could possibly know, in no small part because I knew he was right.
“My silence won’t help them either,” I said defensively. “What good is being Queen if I don’t fight back?”
“Being a leader is about more than barking orders when people don’t do what you want. And how many times have I taught you that giving in to your emotions is the fastest way to lose a battle? You should know better.”
I didn’t answer for a long time, frowning as I stared at the empty chairs where House Benette had sat. Where each of my enemies would sit in these coming days, one by one, forcing me into more impossible choices.
He let out a long sigh. “I think I should resign as your advisor.”
My focus shot to him. “No.”
“My presence here hurts you. You need distance from the mortals.”
“I need you. You’re the only person I can trust.”
“You’re being selfish. Stop thinking about what you want, and think about what’s best for the realm.”
I flinched at the criticism, closing my eyes as my chest suffocated under the weight of his shame. I hadn’t realized until now just how badly I wanted my father to be proud of me as Queen—to be impressed by me and my plans, to be willing to stand by my side, whatever may come.
And I hadn’t realized until now just how badly it would hurt that he wasn’t.
“I’m sorry to be such a disappointment,” I said quietly.
He shook his head. “Diem, sweetheart, that’s not what I meant.”
“I accept your resignation.”
“I’m only trying to help—”
“Go home, Father.” I leapt out of my chair and stalked for the door without a final glance. “I’ll just have to do this alone.”
Chapter
Thirty
“Oh Teller, it was so lovely, Diem looked beautiful, she was so sparkly and queen-like, and everyone from school was there, and there was food and music, and we danced all night long, and then Elric got into the wine and made tiny light ponies that stampeded around the ballroom and kept burning everyone’s dresses, and then…”
My thoughts wandered as Lily gushed over the details of the ball to my brother, who was gazing at her in rapture like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever heard.
Though he smiled and nodded along in encouragement, I couldn’t miss his twinge of sadness at having not been invited. Teller would never admit it, but he desperately wanted to be a part of this world.
Lily’s world. My world.
After my fight with our father this morning, I’d been wrestling with how my mortal family fit into this new life. I wanted them close by, but with that came consequences. For them, for me, and for the realm.
Sometimes I thought about cutting them off altogether. Though it would destroy me, it would liberate them—let them live out the rest of their days in anonymity without the burden of my Crown hanging over them, too.
But then I thought of my mother, and Luther’s promise to bring her home by year end. Her loss had fractured our family, put us each on our own separate paths, with distance both real and emotional pushing us apart. But maybe, once she was home again—if I could survive that long—we could find our way through this.
There was nothing the Bellators couldn’t take on, as long as the four of us were together.
“…you should have seen it, the Hanoverres were awful, making all of these horrible accusations, and Diem went all angry Queen on them and she was all, ‘Do you dare challenge me?’ and they were all, ‘No, Your Majesty, we would never’ and they got scared and ran away, and then…”
Teller arched an eyebrow at me, and I subtly shook my head. We both grinned at the silent understanding that Lily’s retelling had taken on some dramatic embellishment.
“…oh, and there were Descended from the other realms there, and they all gave her these fascinating gifts. There was an orb from Sophos that can answer any question, and—”
Teller perked up. “The Sophos Descended were there? Are they still in Lumnos?”
Lily nodded eagerly. “And they know about you! They even said you can come st—”
“Lily,” I snapped. She pursed her lips, cringing under my hard stare.
Teller looked between the two of us and frowned. “They knew about me?”
“It’s nothing.” I played with a loose thread to avoid meeting his eyes. “They just wanted to scare me by mentioning you. But I’m not going to let them hurt you.”
Neither of them responded.
I let out a harsh sigh. “Can we talk about something other than the ball?”
Teller’s eyes darted around my face as he tried to work out what I wasn’t telling him. “How did the House Reception go?”
“Fine.” I continued to tug absently at my sleeve. “Father resigned as my advisor. He says I’m selfish.”
“That doesn’t sound like him,” Teller said, his frown curving deeper. “I know you two have had your problems lately, but Father would do anything for you.”