I look back up to find Theo’s smirk has gotten bigger. His dimple winks at me, though his eyes are still stormy. “Hot, huh?”
“Settle your ego. You skew much more McAngsty.”
He gives me a look that broadcasts his skepticism as he picks up an antiseptic packet. “McAngsty who saved your ass.”
“I wanted to get the perfect shot.”
The rip of the paper fills the bathroom. God, it’s small in here. Theo’s shoulders alone take up seventy percent of the space.
“And you fell down a hill,” he says. “How’s that perfection feeling now?”
It hurts like hell.
Theo looks at me like I’ve said it out loud, and his expression softens, just barely. He braces a hand on my uninjured knee, stepping into the vee of my legs.
“This is going to sting.”
I stare at the starburst in his eyes, thinking yes, it is just before the vicious pain hits.
“Oh fuck,” I gasp out, gripping his forearm. “Oh my god, that hurts.”
“Breathe,” he commands, and my lungs kick out an exhale on instinct. He’s so close my breath stirs the curling hair beneath his ear. I squeeze my eyes shut so I won’t look at him or my knee. The antiseptic burns almost as badly as the injury itself, nearly as much as the burn in my chest from realizing I could have hurt Theo, too. He drives me to the edge of my patience constantly, but I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe out.
There’s a beat of silence. Then, “Don’t do shit like that again, Shepard. We’re going to be walking along much higher drops. I don’t want to watch your body fall off the side of the Grand Canyon.”
If we weren’t close, I wouldn’t have heard the tremor in his voice, but we’re practically on top of each other. My eyes fly open. His head is bowed, focused on his work, his thick black lashes lying against the hollow beneath his eyes. A flush spreads across his cheeks.
I swallow, recognizing his fear. I felt it, too, when I was falling. I feel it now, knowing he cares, even if it’s just that he didn’t want me to die on his watch.
“I’m sorry,” I say again.
“I know.”
When he doesn’t go on, I press, “This is the part where you forgive me.”
“And if I don’t?” He lifts his chin, pinning me in place with eyes that are dark, but edged in amusement.
“Then lie so I feel better.”
Theo huffs out a laugh. “I forgive you,” he says, just as he presses the antiseptic wipe against my knee again, adding pressure.
“Shit. Oh fuck,” I hiss out, my eyes watering. “You’re making it hurt on purpose, you asshole.”
“Only if you ask nicely.” His voice is electrified, arcing from his mouth right into the pit of my stomach.
I suck in a breath, picturing his hands on me. Not hurting me, but letting me know he’s there, that he’s got me.
The air changes, storm-like, awareness rolling in on Theo’s hot exhale. For all of the ways we clash, I have no doubt we’d be good together like that, and he knows it, too.
“You’re not supposed to like that,” he growls out, frustrated, his gaze tracing my face like a touch.
Somehow his shirt has made its way into my fists. “Why did you say it, then?”
His gaze flickers up from my mouth. “Because I was trying to be an asshole.”
“You don’t have to try.”
He’s gotten so close. I don’t know if I pulled him or he came willingly. He’s between my thighs, but not the way I’d like. The slick material of his joggers brushes up against my skin, his hands shaping the curve of my legs as the antiseptic wipe falls away.
We were doing something before, but I couldn’t say what.
Theo tilts his head. Our noses brush and my stomach spirals so quickly it makes me dizzy. He’s going to kiss me, and I’m going to let him. Some foggy part of me remembers that this is a bad idea. That we don’t like each other, and we had to make a truce to get along.
I don’t think our truce included him running his hands up my thighs, his thumbs tracing the inside with the perfect pressure.
“What’s that game called?” he murmurs. “From last night?”
“Tell Me a Secret,” I manage, my heart in my throat.
His jaw ticks. “So, tell me one.”
I don’t want to admit it, but it’s the elephant in the room. His thumbs are inches from the spot throbbing worse than my knee.
“I wouldn’t stop you if you kissed me right now.” I say it quietly in case he changes his mind, but his eyes darken, pupils dilating. He doesn’t move, though his mouth parts like he can already taste it. “Now you.”
His breath dances over my lips. “If I kissed you right now, I wouldn’t stop.”
My legs flex instinctively, trying to close to relieve some of the ache between them, but Theo’s grip turns even firmer as he dips his head to run his mouth barely, barely against the spot where my jaw meets my ear.
“When you wear your hair up, I can’t stop looking right here,” he whispers against my skin. Another secret revealed, and I didn’t even have to ask. “You’ve never caught me?”
“No,” I moan. “Why are you messing with me right now?”
“Not messing, Shepard.” His nose skims along my cheek until his mouth is millimeters from mine. “Let’s call it playing. Isn’t that what we’ve always done with each other?”
Like that, he puts us on equal ground. I bite back a triumphant grin as my hands release his shirt and move to his forearms. His tendons dance under my palms as he flexes his fingers into my thighs, but he doesn’t move otherwise. Why won’t he kiss m—
There’s a soft knock at the door. A rustle. Footsteps, and the sound of the door next to mine opening.
Paul. He told me he’d let me know when he dropped off my water and medicine, along with chocolate he promised would be more healing than Advil.
Paul, the grandfather of the man I’m about to kiss. Paul, who’s pausing his life to accompany me on this road trip, telling me the secrets Gram either never got to or never intended to spill.
Paul, who clearly wants Theo and I to be a real thing.
My chest goes tight. I cannot mess this up, and getting tangled with Theo would.
“Hold on,” I wheeze out, letting go.
Theo steps back immediately, and the sudden absence of his touch nearly makes me cry. It would’ve been a mistake, but it would’ve been a mistake that felt really fucking good.
I keep my eyes firmly on his face. He’s hard and the material of his pants is thin and I truly can’t handle any details. “We shouldn’t do this.”
He doesn’t answer right away. His pulse thrums in his throat, below his impossibly tight jaw. “Okay.”
“I want to,” I say, in an attempt to reassure him.
One corner of his mouth pulls up as he rubs a hand up and down his cheek, then across his jaw. “I know.”
“But Paul,” I say, ignoring his smug tone. “I mean, you can see he’s trying to play matchmaker, right?”
Theo lets out a breath, his expression softening. “Yeah, I can.”