“Well,” she says, wielding her voice like a scythe. “If she hadn’t been announced, I’d have mistaken her for the maid.”
Her high laugh rings out—cutting off abruptly as Madam Himura slaps her.
The room falls silent.
Blue’s head is twisted to the side. She holds it stiffly, her shoulders jerking with shallow breaths, dark hair hiding her face.
Despite her hunch, Madam Himura seems to double in size as she glares down her beak at Blue, her feathers ruffled. “I know who your father is, girl. After you were chosen, he came to me to ask that I don’t treat you any differently because of his status. So you’d better give me the respect I’m owed.” As Blue’s cheeks flush, the eagle-woman’s gaze sweeps over the room. “That goes for all of you. No matter your background, whether you have grown up with all or nothing, here you are all on the same level. And that level is beneath me.” She jabs her cane in my direction. “Now, welcome Lei-zhi in the proper manner.”
The girls drop into bows, Blue a fraction slower than the rest.
“I have already explained why she’s here,” Madam Himura continues. “I don’t expect to repeat myself. Mistress Eira will show you to your sleeping quarters and instruct the maids to attend you. Tomorrow you have your assessments. Be ready for when I come for you.”
“Yes, Madam Himura,” the girls recite.
I hurry to echo them. When I look round, I catch Blue watching me, her eyes shining darkly.
Mistress Eira takes us to our private quarters on the northeast side of the house. She explains that the building we’re in, Paper House, is where we will live during our year as the King’s concubines. Her and Madam Himura’s rooms are also to be found here, along with the maids’ dormitory and a variety of parlors, kitchens, and entertaining rooms. Paper House is in the center of Women’s Court, flanked to the north and east by gardens and to the south and west by other buildings: suites for the women of the court, as well as bathhouses, tearooms, and shops.
Our bedrooms run off a long corridor. Though immaculately kept, the rooms aren’t what I was expecting. They’re bare, furnished simply with a sleeping mat and a shrine stocked with joss sticks and a charcoal fire to burn them. Not exactly rooms to host a King. Then I shudder. Because where instead will that take place?
“This isn’t very private,” Blue sniffs, trailing a manicured nail along the edge of a door, which is barely more than a few thin pressed sheets of rice paper. Light from the hallway shines right through them.
“It isn’t meant to be,” replies Mistress Eira. “Your lives belong to the court now, girls. The sooner you understand that, the better.”
Her voice is kind, but Blue scowls at her.
As Mistress Eira answers a question from one of the other girls, the pretty freckled girl I noticed earlier slips in beside me, offering a hesitant smile. She looks young—too young really to be here—with a round face framed with short auburn hair and luminous opal-green irises. Their shade is the exact color of the fields outside our village, rich and vibrant after the monsoon rains, and I return her smile, fighting the stab of homesickness that shoots through me.
“It’s to stop us from taking lovers, isn’t it?” the girl whispers, gesturing to the doors.
“I guess so.”
“Not that I’d know.” Her freckled cheeks grow pink. “I haven’t ever had one. A lover, I mean! Not a bedroom. Though even that I shared with my sisters. Have you—have you had one?” she adds, breathless.
I lift my brows. “A bedroom?”
“No!” she giggles. “A lover.”
I shake my head, and her face relaxes.
“I’m glad I’m not the only one. Mistress Eira told me I’m the youngest here. I just turned sixteen last week. I thought I’d be the only one without any, um, experience.” She leans in, earnest. “I mean, I know we’re not supposed to do anything before we’re married anyway, but some of my sisters have done… things. And not just kissing.” She lets out another nervous laugh, hiding her mouth behind her hands. “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Aoki.”
“I’m—”
“Lei. I know. The ninth girl.” Her eyes shift to the crown of azure-black hair at the front of the group as she adds under her breath, “Though maybe not for long. I don’t know how much longer she’ll last if she continues talking to Madam Himura that way.” Aoki flashes a quick grin. “Can’t say I’d be sad to see her go.”
I laugh, stopping quickly when the other girls look around.
Mistress Eira shows us to our rooms, instructing us to wait for our maids. My room is at the end of the corridor, opposite Aoki’s. I step inside slowly while she practically dances into hers.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep!” she calls from across the hall. “Isn’t this so exciting?”
I make a noncommittal murmur.
She takes a few steps forward, fingers twined together at her waist. “Do you maybe want to wait with me? We can leave the doors open so your maid knows where you are, and—”
“I’m going to rest for a bit,” I cut in. “Sorry, I’m just so tired.”
Disappointment flickers over her face. “Oh. All right.”
The instant I shut my door, my smile drops. I stand awkwardly in the center of the room, loosening a long exhale. It looks just the way I feel—bare, stripped apart. For the first time since waiting for Madam Himura’s inspection, I am alone, and as I’m finally able to let go of the pretense, the forced smiles and chatter, everything else drains from me, too.
I loop the room, running my fingers along the walls. Back in our shop-house, I knew all the knots in every wood panel. Each kink and nick and stain had a history, a memory attached to it. You could read my childhood in the fabric of the building. But here, it’s all blank.
Or—not quite. I lift my fingertips back to the wall. Even recently, this room must have belonged to a previous Paper Girl. And others before. The Paper Girl tradition has been going on for hundreds of years. The walls might be clear of my own memories, but they are dense with layers upon layers of other girls’ memories, a whole story—a whole saga—of lives that came before.
I rest my forehead to the wood. There’s something comforting in knowing other girls were here before me, and survived. What was she like, the previous girl to live here? What did she feel on her first night in this room? What dreams did she dream here?
My stomach gives a kick.
What dreams of hers were lost?
At the sound of the door opening, I spring back from the wall. Lill rushes in. She’s grinning and breathless, her uniform rumpled. “Mistress Eira is making me your maid!” she exclaims. “We were one short, and I’ve been wanting to progress from a housemaid for the last year! I’ve just given my eighty thanks to the heavenly masters but I still can’t believe it!”
Her smile is infectious. “Then I’d better bow to you,” I say, my lips twitching. I kneel, a bit awkwardly in my robes, flattening my palms on the floor. “How may I be of service, Mistress Lill?”