Chenna and the twins are inside. They look grim, Zhin sitting against the wall under the window with her legs pulled up to her chin while Zhen kneels on the bamboo mat floor, her dirt-stained robes ripped at one shoulder. Chenna gives me a humorless smile, shifting slightly to make room for us. As I kneel, I smooth down the rumpled fabric of my cheongsam. My fingers catch on a torn slash. Through it, the skin of my thigh shines palely. Even burnt and dirty, the dress is still almost the same hue as the flames that scorched it, making me think of what Blue said to me before the play began.
Looks like Master Tekoa was right about all that fire, Nine. You’re practically a human lantern.
Was that what happened last night? Did I somehow, unknowingly, cause the attack?
“You were saying you think the assassins are from Noei?” Zhen directs at Chenna once we’re settled. “The same region as those slaves at the koyo party?”
Chenna lifts a shoulder. “It’s just a guess. But it seems too much of a coincidence that this happens a week after they were brought here, don’t you think?”
“I’m not sure,” Zhin replies. She rubs her arms where they’re looped round her legs. “There are so many Paper families and clans with reasons to hate the King.”
“And the raids have been going on all over Ikhara,” her sister adds. “Our father told us before coming here that the King is blaming them on the rebels. That they’re doing it to discredit him with the Paper castes.”
Beside me, Aoki shifts, fluting her fingers over her skirt. “I don’t think the King would do that.…”
“I’m not sure what the King wouldn’t do,” Chenna says stonily, and though I agree with her, I don’t say so.
Aoki’s cheeks color. “He has a lot to deal with,” she mutters.
“Yes,” Chenna retorts. “It must be hard for him here in this luxurious palace, with all these beautiful things around him.”
“You mean like us?”
The girls stare at me, an uncomfortable silence descending over the room. I haven’t ever told them what I really think of being here—excluding Aoki and Wren, of course—though I suppose my actions have made it explicit enough. I’ve guessed at Chenna feeling a similar way; she wears her duty well, but grudgingly. But Zhen and Zhin have always seemed happy to be here.
“Don’t you feel bad for the things we’ve seen happen to Paper castes here who aren’t protected by the King in the same way we are?” I ask into the quiet. “Didn’t you feel anything for those slaves the other night?”
“Of course I did,” Chenna says, shooting me a stern, almost hurt look. I remember the disgust in her eyes as we watched the slaves, side by side in a crowd of demons. Her prayer to Kunih. She lifts her chin. “But what can we do about it? It’s the same outside the palace. Even my father, as well respected as he is in Uazu, has had to suffer bullying from Steels and Moons. I’ve seen the way they look at us. The whispers behind our backs. Most of the time, they don’t even bother to whisper.”
“It was like that for us, too,” Zhen says. “Sometimes the worst of it even came from other Paper castes. Like we were somehow betraying them by being involved in the court.”
“That’s what I mean,” I press. “Here, we’re not experiencing life the way most Paper castes do.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Aoki’s flush deepens as all of us turn to her. “I mean,” she continues, more tentatively, picking at the torn threads of her hem, “we’re treated well here. We’re looked after—”
“Oh, like how I was chained to the floor and starved for a week?”
“Well,” she says, her cheeks pink, “it could have been worse.”
Her words hit me with the shock of a slap. The twins stare as Aoki and I glare at each other.
“Look,” Chenna says, raising her palms, her voice steady. “You both make good points. I hear what you’re saying, Lei. I’m sure we all do. We’re not denying the privilege our status has brought us. But I don’t see how we can change anything. Aoki’s right. It could have been a lot worse for you—and what you went through was already so bad. And that was for offending the King in a personal way. This is Ikharan politics we’re talking about. This is bigger than us.”
That’s exactly what I’m trying to say! I want to shout. But I’m still reeling from Aoki’s comment, and underneath their wariness, Chenna and the twins look exhausted. The same fatigue hits me afresh. After what we all just went through, we don’t need to be fighting among ourselves as well.
The pleading look on Wren’s face last night comes back to me. How she must be feeling even worse, given what she did to protect us.
I shift my legs uncomfortably. Now I’m sure I was too harsh on her.
Zhin clears her throat. “So. What do you think will happen to the assassins?”
I look across at her, grateful for the change of subject. “Well, we know they’re being questioned.”
She shakes her head, brow knitted. “I mean… after.”
“Court law for treason of any kind is execution,” Chenna states matter-of-factly.
Execution. The word is as sharp as its meaning.
“And in the palace,” she goes on, “executions are public events.”
My mouth twists. “We’ll have to watch?”
Chenna nods. The twins share an apprehensive look. Aoki stares fixedly ahead, not meeting anyone’s eyes.
“Maybe they’ll just imprison them,” Zhin suggests eventually.
“And I suppose,” Zhen says, “they could always, maybe, find them not guilty?”
Chenna and I both raise our eyebrows at her.
“They would have killed him,” Aoki says, quiet and a little shaky, looking down at her palms. “Are we forgetting that?” When no one replies, she scrambles to her feet, hands clutched into fists. “I’m tired of listening to this,” she declares, her face red. “The King might be scared, too. Did any of you think about that? And we’re not even allowed to see if he’s all right. He’s worried, and hurt, and all alone.…”
“Aoki—” I start, getting to my feet.
“Not now, Lei,” she mumbles thickly. Rubbing her face with the heels of her hands, she puffs out a loud breath before rushing out of the room.
“Maybe you should give her some time,” Chenna suggests quietly when I move to follow her. “She’s probably just in shock after what happened. She needs to rest.”
Zhin’s eyes click to me. “I think we all do.”
The three of them decide to get some sleep, but when I leave, I pass the door to my bedroom. I continue to the bathing courtyard as originally planned, half hoping to find Aoki or Wren there. Still, when I find it empty, I’m suddenly grateful for a moment to myself.
Hidden in the steam, I undress by my usual tub, throwing my dirty clothes to the floor with slightly more force than necessary before climbing into the water. It takes a long time to scrub the dirt from my body. Even after I’m clean, last night’s smoke clings to me, an invisible second skin. I stay in long after my fingertips grow wrinkly, unable to shake the unease that’s been coursing through me all night. Every time I close my eyes the image of Wren and the assassin is waiting for me—the surprised look on his face, the calm, focused expression on hers.