I recall my promise at the executions. More than anything, I want to be free. Not just free of the palace, but free once I’m outside of it, too. How can that happen in a world where its King allows demons to do whatever they want to those they deem inferior? How can I live in happiness when I know now what happens to Paper castes all across Ikhara?
Can you imagine a world where we’re free to be with each other?
Actually, I can.
Then take me there, Wren. Please.
I will.
So this is what she meant.
“Lei,” Wren says again, after a glance over her shoulder at Kenzo. “You have to go. Now.”
But I don’t move. “Let me stay.” The words are out of me before I’ve even realized they were there. “I want to help.”
She pulls back. “What?”
“You’re going to assassinate the King, and I can help.”
Wren flinches, a deep furrow lining her forehead. “I don’t mind risking my own life,” she says sharply, “but I will not risk yours.” She tugs on my arm. “Come on. I’ll take you back to the house.”
“But—”
She closes her eyes. “Please, Lei,” she begs, and there’s so much tiredness in her voice that I can’t bring myself to argue anymore. At least, not right now.
We trudge back to Paper House in silence. Wren plants a kiss to my crown when we reach the entrance. “I meant what I said,” she murmurs. “I love you. And you are helping me already, whatever you think. Just by loving me back. It makes me strong. It gives me more to fight for.”
I bite back a reply, not trusting myself to speak as she hugs me tightly against her before she turns and jogs back to the forest with long, loping steps.
When I’m back in my room, I lie on my sleeping mat, trembling despite the furs wrapped around me. I stare up at the ceiling until the shadows seep from the room and the weak light of a winter morning settles in its place. Since that night at the theater, I’d somehow known about Wren, known that her fighting skills and Xia heritage were not just coincidence. But now it’s finally become real.
Sometime soon she will try to kill the King.
And it’s a fight she might not win.
I want to jump up, run back to the moonlit clearing, beg Wren to reconsider. Even if the King must die, there must be some way it can happen without her life being in danger, too. The icy focus in her eyes as she approached the assassin in the tunnel under the theater returns to me. How the grip of Xia magic overtook her, giving her more strength than a human girl should have. Maybe that’s enough. Maybe years of training and her warrior heritage can protect her.
But this is the King.
The King, with his bull-driven power and lean, ironlike muscles. His deep, booming voice. I remember the savagery in his eyes that night at the koyo party, and before that, when he threw me down onto his bed and I felt more like a fragile human than ever before.
I shiver, cradling my knees to my chest. Because beneath her Xia heritage, and no matter how incredible she is to me, that’s all Wren is in the end—a human girl. And we have all been taught what happens to Paper that tries to defy demons.
It gets torn apart.
TWENTY-NINE
THE NEXT MORNING, AOKI COMES TO my door just as I’m leaving to go to hers.
We say it at the same time. “I’m sorry.”
I throw my arms around her, and she half laughs, half sobs, lacing her arms round my waist. “I thought it would be harder than that,” she sighs against my chest.
“No,” I reply, squeezing her tighter. “It should have been easier. I’m so sorry. Some of the things I said that night…”
She clears her throat. “Some of the things I said.” We pull apart, and she gives me a wobbly smile, though her face is serious. “Just promise me, promise you’ll be careful, Lei. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you. After Mariko yesterday…”
The echo of her screams seems to reverberate down the corridor.
“I know,” I say. “It’s terrible. And it made me realize just how stupid our argument was. It could have been me in her place, and if that was the last conversation we had—”
Aoki’s freckled nose wrinkles as she says firmly, “It will not be you.” Her fingers loop around my wrist. “You still haven’t promised that you’ll be careful.”
“I promise,” I lie.
Aoki nods, seemingly satisfied. Then she hesitates. “Lei?” she says gently. “You do know you’ll be called tonight, right?”
Her words lift the hairs on my arms. Of course I knew it had to happen. The only reason I wasn’t summoned last night was because the King was too busy dealing with the fallout of Mariko’s affair. But all the other girls have been called already, so it was only a matter of time.
It’s clear to me now that he purposefully left me until last to torture me.
I remember Wren’s declaration last night, her heartbeat tripping against mine. I love you… It makes me strong. It gives me more to fight for.
“I’m sorry,” Aoki murmurs. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“I’m just glad to have you back.” I force a smile, and say in the lightest tone I can manage, “Anyway, we’ve got loads to catch up on. In your absence, Blue’s become my best friend and we’ve started a Madam Himura fan club. We’re calling ourselves the Beakies.”
Aoki giggles. “How do I sign up?”
But as soon as we loop our arms together to head to the bathing courtyard, our smiles disappear. We walk on in silence, Aoki’s words about the King calling me tonight slinking round my neck like an invisible noose slowly tightening.
Just as Aoki predicted, the royal messenger delivers my name at lunch later that day.
I take the bamboo chip from Madam Himura with trembling fingers, not hearing a word she’s saying. It’s all I can do not to look across the table at Wren. She’s watching me—her gaze is like a call, a song I always want to answer. But I keep my eyes down as Madam Himura orders the girls out. It’s taking everything in me just to sit here feigning calm and not throw the chip squarely at Madam Himura’s smug face. I can’t handle seeing Wren’s expression as well.
The girls file out. Wren’s footsteps slow as they pass.
“You too, Wren-zhi,” the eagle-woman snaps.
I stare down, waiting for Wren to leave. A few moments later, there’s the sound of the door sliding.
“So,” Madam Himura says once we’re alone.
I look up, gold eyes meeting yellow.
“You know what’ll happen if you fail me again.”
I grit my teeth. “Yes, Madam Himura.”
She stamps her cane and gives me a dismissive wave with a feathered arm. “Rika! Take Lei for her ye lesson.”
The journey to the Night Houses passes in a blur. When we get to Zelle’s room, I’m a little nervous to see her after what happened last time, but she greets me warmly, with no trace of anger or suspicion.
“I didn’t get a chance to thank you,” I say, kneeling opposite her on the bamboo-mat floor. “For not telling Mistress Azami what I was doing in her office.”
She lifts a shoulder, her dark hair falling past her ears in soft waves. “It would have caused more trouble than it was worth. And I can’t blame you for wanting to find out what happened to your mother.” She pauses. “I’m sorry it wasn’t the outcome you were hoping for.”