“What?” he asks with a concerned smirk. His face is lit up with the slight glow of Dex’s aquarium behind me.
“Nothing. I’m happy.”
“Are you sure? You can cry some more if you need to. You won’t scare me off.”
“No…I’m okay today.” I’m cried out, honestly. It comes in waves. I don’t miss Mason, but I do miss Palmer. It’s bizarre. Losing your best friend is like taking off a security blanket and feeling a chill. At first, it’s uncomfortable, but soon after, you realize you were burning up the entire time. The cold becomes welcome.
I set the dip down and crawl on top of his lap, resting my thighs on his, letting myself be comfortable in his powerful embrace. “Damn, you smell nice, baby,” Finn mumbles.
I snort. “Because I smell like your favorite dip.”
He chuckles into my neck and says, “No, it’s your perfume.” He breathes me in and then tucks my long hair away from my shoulder. “You look really nice tonight.”
I think I’m learning my balance. The truth is I don’t want to be prancing around in revealing lingerie and mermaid glitter…at least not in public. Finn has insisted we keep my mermaid costume for role-playing night. I agreed, but only if he gets an eye patch and he wraps his hand around my throat. But for every day, I’ve decided, I like being comfortable, but with a little effort. So for tonight, I’m wearing the cute flowy bohemian shorts Lennox found for me with a form-fitting, white, baby T-shirt that hugs the bulge of my chest and the slight dip in my waist. My hair is down in natural waves and I have a hint of makeup—a soft blush, a little lip tint, and a touch of mascara.
This is nice. This, I like. This feels like me.
“It’s our first official date,” I say before pressing my lips against his.
“What? I’ve taken you out before.”
“True, but tonight, I have no questions about how you feel about me, where we’re headed, or what you think about me.”
I run my hands all over his gray workout shirt, which is the same silky smooth material as his black athletic pants. He looks like such a jock tonight. Ha! Me…with a jock. I invited Finn to our first official date night. I made all his favorite dips. I have every intention of making it up to him tonight because all we’ve done for the past few nights is cuddle.
Sex isn’t going anywhere. After the most dramatic twenty-four hours of my life, I needed to recuperate and feel comfort in a different way. So Finn pals around and cuddles me. He’s patient through my sporadic little meltdowns. When I think of Palmer, I cry. I cry even harder when I think about the fact that she hasn’t bothered to call and beg me for forgiveness. I told her not to contact me, but a part of me wished she would have at least tried. Her cowardly behavior only solidifies what I know in my heart; this friendship isn’t just over, it’s been over for a long time.
It’s okay to mourn. It’s okay for my heart to hurt. And it does… Immensely. But it also feels like relief. Like the shadow that’s been chasing me my entire life finally stepped into the light, and the monster…it was just a mouse. The monster of my insecurity was just a teeny, tiny, sad mouse.
Finn is letting me process patiently. He even cuddled me last night on the couch as I fell asleep watching Finding Nemo in his arms, my personal memorial to Cherry. I cried as we watched it and he didn’t ask me if it was about Palmer or Cherry. He just stroked my hair and let me quietly sob. In a weird way, Finn likes my tears. He says my tears, unlike Nora’s, are honest. And he wants honesty.
I couldn’t have dreamed up a better man.
“What do you think I think about you?” Finn asks. There’s a sultry smile on his face, and I feel a swell growing where I’m rubbing against his crotch. He shifts his hips to subtly adjust himself with ease like I’m weightless on top of him. I love how strong he is. It’s how I know I can really lean on him.
“I think you think—”
Ring, ring.
My phone sounds from the kitchen counter, the loud ringtone carrying from Dex’s open-concept main floor with the tall ceilings. I’m actually going to miss this place when he returns in a couple of weeks. But, then again, I’m only moving next door. I bet I can pop by to visit.
The phone grows quiet for a brief moment before it picks right back up.
“Goddammit. Let me talk to that fucker. I’ll let him know he’s lost the privilege of speaking to my girlfriend ever again. And if he has a hard time understanding, I can pay him a visit and say it to his face.”
“It’s really hot when you get all protective,” I say with a seductive smile, placing my hands on his cheeks. I rub my thumbs against his stubble. “Say that again, but kind of growl it.” I try to snarl at him, but he’s not returning my playfulness. “What, Finn? Don’t be upset. You know I’m not answering his calls.”
Mason panicked when he found out I blew off the Legacy Resorts deal.
He spiraled when Palmer must’ve told him I knew everything about their affair. That’s when he started blowing up my phone—messages and voicemails toggling between begging, explaining, and then demanding I talk to him.
He damn near had a heart attack when he was copied on the email I sent to all of our clients, letting them know that Arrow Consulting was splitting ways and that I would be offering long-term services as a brand strategist and marketing consultant under a new boutique name: Queen Consulting, which would be based out of Las Vegas. I asked my clients to reach out if they were interested in receiving more information when I returned to work in a few weeks after my summer vacation concluded.
The response was overwhelming. Mason can keep Arrow and all its assets. It’s nothing but an empty shell now.
My more vindictive side has enjoyed watching him spiral as I keep his messages on read and let the phone line ring. I plan on giving it a few more days before I block his number completely.
“I’m not upset if you talk to him. I am just so angry for you. But you’ve got an edge, baby. Maybe you should rip him to fucking pieces while I listen on speakerphone.”
Not that I’d say this to Finn, but I’m eternally grateful for Mason. It was a tough lesson to learn, but I needed him to string me along for four years. I needed him to make me doubt myself so I felt low enough to ask for Finn’s help. I was desperate enough to approach a man who I never would’ve unless I had absolutely nothing to lose.
“I don’t need to. I did what I needed to do, and now I’m not going to dwell on this any longer. I deserve better and Mason deserves…Palmer. There’s no greater punishment than that.” I laugh to myself. “And I don’t need to tell Mason what a huge mistake he made. His consequence is not getting to experience the best version of me.” I kiss Finn’s forehead. “I’m saving all that for you, babe.”
“You’re a queen,” Finn says, guiding my lips to his. “Such a fucking queen.” Our kiss deepens, and this time he reaches between us to adjust his erection, which has grown to mammoth proportions. He groans against my ear. “Are you feeling better? Can we fuck—”
“Wait.”