“Well, if Avery is practicing how to date again, maybe you should too. Ask her how she feels about her ex, and you. Ask her what she wants. Tell her what you want.”
I ignore the sign that clearly says don’t leave the pump unattended. Heading into the gas station, I respond, “I’ve known her for a couple of weeks. It’s a little early to talk about feelings, Lennox.”
“How long did it take before you knew you loved Nora?”
Less than a week. “Doesn’t that mean I should do things differently moving forward?”
“Yes. So, tell her what you want.”
Maybe it’s sound advice, but that would require me to know what the hell I want. Finding out about Morgan and Nora stung. I won’t admit it to a soul in the world, but it drives me crazy that she ran back to him after she spent years telling me I showed her what real love felt like. There was no way she could go back to a man who didn’t make her feel the way I did. It was all lip service. It’s not that I’m jealous. It’s just tough to face all the bullshit. The reality is Nora didn’t just treat me like garbage… I let her.
Avery’s been nothing but honest and vulnerable with me. Maybe we should talk. Maybe this could be more than casual. I enjoy spending time with her. She’s so easy to talk to. This game of good sex doesn’t really feel like a game. If it is, I think I’m winning every time.
Apparently, if you want to find a nice girl to connect with, just swear off dating, then she’ll come barreling into your life…naked in a hot tub. Shit… Okay, so I like her. But are we both ready for me to do something about it?
“Fine. I’ll talk to her,” I mumble, holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I fill my arms with gas station snacks.
“Good,” Lennox says as I head to the cash register, “then my work here is done. All right, get home safe. By the way, I used the last clean towel when I showered, so I threw a load in the washer, but I didn’t run it yet. Oh, and you’re out of beer, cheddar cheese, and Chex Mix. I put them on the grocery list, but could you buy the Bold Mix flavor next time? The blue bag is so bland. I mean, I ate it…but it was bland.”
The gas station attendant widens his eyes and looks startled at the very unamused expression I’m wearing. I point to my phone and whisper to him, “Not you.”
He nods and begins ringing up my snacks, one by one.
“Lennox, I’m changing my locks.”
“Bye, Finny.”
Finn
I’m in the hot tub. I have junk food.
Avery
You are NOT in the hot tub. I know this because I, in fact, am.
I smile as I read Avery’s response and head through my backyard to the adjoining back gate to Dex’s home. It’s quiet. She must not have the jets on. I figured by the time she saw my message, I’d be relaxed and soaking.
“I hope you’re not decent. Are you topless or bottomless? Or my favorite—completely naked,” I say over the fence. Pausing, I wait for a flirty response.
“I’m wearing a swimsuit, Finn. I can’t just give the goods away. My new teacher keeps telling me I have to make a man earn it.”
I tuck the snacks and energy drink under one arm as I unlatch the lock and use my shoulder to push the tension-ridden gate open. Avery’s in the tub, in a black, one-piece swimsuit. “Ah, damn. Your new teacher is an idiot.”
She snorts. “I wouldn’t say that. He’s all kinds of sweet, and”—she points to my hands—“he brought blueberry-flavored Red Bull?”
I set the blue can next to her arm resting on the deck, along with the bag of snacks, and proceed to pull off my shirt. There’s no need for space tonight. I dip into the tub and find my place right next to Avery, even going as far as wrapping my arm around her shoulders.
She holds up the can. “How did you know I have a weakness for these? They are always sold out when I go to the store.” She snuggles into me and I feel a sense of relief. She feels it too. No way I’m alone in thinking this is more than just gratuitous sex.
“I didn’t. I happen to like them too. But I don’t drink them during long drives. They do nothing to keep you awake because the sugar crash cancels out the caffeine.”
“Exactly,” she says, “but they taste like candy.” She peeks into the white plastic bag I brought and then hands the can to me.
“No, you go for it,” I say, refusing to take it.
“You only have one. I don’t want to take it from you.”
I squeeze her shoulder suggestively and wink. “Take it. I’ll make you earn it later… As in I’d really like to give you another private lesson tonight if you’re up for it.”
“Aren’t you exhausted? Lennox said you were in Scottsdale today. I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
“A little. I left at about six this morning. Scottsdale is about five hours away if traffic is decent. But lunch didn’t take long.”
Avery crinkles her forehead and looks at me head-on. “You drove five hours each way in one day and now you want to have sex?”
I study her pinched expression. “Why is that weird?”
She opens the can, and the hiss of carbonated beverage fills the silence between us. After taking a little sip, she says, “Because ‘I’m too tired’ was Mason’s favorite excuse, I guess.” It’s a rare moment when I can see how Avery is feeling. She’s not as impervious as everyone thinks.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” Her eyes are forward and steady; she’s lost in an unpleasant memory.
“Was it just your sex life, or was your entire relationship with Mason disappointing? And before you make some ridiculous self-deprecating comment, I’ve had sex with you, Avery. I can say with full confidence the problem wasn’t you.”
“I’m not convinced,” she says with a scoff. “Look, honestly? I guess I didn’t put my best foot forward. I never wanted to be a girl who found validation in how she looked. I don’t think that makeup, sexy clothes, or my weight should be the most direct path to a man’s heart. I wanted to be loved for me—my mind, my generosity, my work ethic, my loyalty… But I wonder if sometimes I brought out the worst in Mason by neglecting something that is fundamentally important in a relationship.”
“Which is?”
“Attraction…on every level. Maybe when you love someone, you’re supposed to be your best for them, not just be comfortable around them. I don’t know. We never talked about it. I’ll never know how Mason was feeling. I’m not even sure if I know how I was feeling. I was too busy to stop and think about it.” She takes another swig and sets the can aside.
“How do you feel now?” I clear my throat. “About your breakup?”
She playfully rolls her eyes at me. “Well, Dr. Phil, obviously I feel sad.”
“Do you? Because I’ve never seen someone so analytical about a relationship ending. Especially when it was so abrupt. You said everything was fine, then he pulled the rug out from under you. You should be hurting, crying—”
“I did cry,” she interrupts. “I was on your lap, remember?”