Finn chuckles, but his laugh falls flat. “I’m not trying to play games, Avery. If I’m in love, I just want the person I’m in love with to be happy. My ex was wildly jealous of every woman with eyes and a pulse. It’s what broke us. I stopped seeing my friends. I stopped going out. There were even certain clients she wouldn’t let me photograph. If it was past eight o’clock, my ass was in the house, on the couch, with her. I thought I did everything to make her feel secure, yet it was never enough.
“But the point I’m trying to make is I was willing to do anything to make her feel secure. That’s the kind of man I am, and will always be. For whomever I’m with.”
My heart aches. It physically aches. What screw would a woman have to have loose to drive this man away with petty jealousy?
“Well, what if you ended up with a girl who was admittedly a little insecure but didn’t think it was your responsibility to fix? What if you had a girl who wanted you to have friends, have fun, and be passionate and happy and whose trust you had blindly until you broke it?” I bring my fingertips to my lips and blow him a sweet kiss. “Hypothetically, of course.”
Okay, bold. Bold move. But Finn started it. He said a relationship was on his mind back when we were in the tub. I want him to know he’s not alone. Even if I don’t know how to make sense of it, I certainly feel the same way.
Finn’s gaze snaps to mine and his face relaxes into an awestruck expression. “Can you please, please just agree to a boudoir session so I can take you inside and bury you into the mattress right now? It’s what we both want.”
I grumble in agitation. “No. To the photo shoot. But I’ll get naked and grab the headboard right now if you want to end your strike.”
He lets out a low whistle. “Not a chance.”
“Why is it so important to you, Finn? Come on. Is this a kinky thing? Like a voyeur thing? Because you can watch me without the camera…”
“No, it’s not a—” The corner of his lip twitches as a mischievous smile claims his face. “Wait, I can watch you do what?”
I shrug and bat my eyelashes suggestively. “End the strike. I’ll show you just how wet I am right now, and when I’m done playing solo, you can join in.”
His jaw slackens and his bottom lip drops slightly. “Listen to that dirty mouth. I created a monster.”
“Are you proud?”
“Very. And I’m going to take you up on that…as soon as you get in my studio.”
“Finn—”
“It’s because of my mom.”
I suck in a breath and hold it. I’m not sure if I should be extremely curious or completely put off. “For the love of God, please elaborate.”
He holds his chest through his rich and melodic laugh. “It’s not what you’re thinking. I have never, nor will I ever photograph my mother like that.” He shakes his head like he’s shaking off the shudder-worthy thought.
“Thank goodness. So what does any of this have to do with your mom?”
He pulls the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and fills his glass before topping off mine. “What did you think of my dad tonight? Before the drama and the dickhead things he said about you.”
I try to remember before my heart bottomed out of my ass. It was such a pleasant dinner that ended so cruelly. “He was honestly so charming and charismatic, it blinded me to how deeply shallow he is.”
“Exactly.” Finn lets out a sharp breath. “I’ve never been able to explain it so eloquently. That’s exactly it. And my mom found out when it was far too late. My dad cheated on her unapologetically. She was reaping the benefits of his income and inheritance that he felt he had the right to disrespect her left and right. He was gone so much that I think she tolerated it. But also, I think she really loved him and hoped he would just grow up. But he never did and my mom didn’t want me to know that side of him, so she kept everything hush-hush from me. It wasn’t until I left for college that she finally filed for divorce. Soon after, I found out I had two half-sisters, both in their twenties, only a couple of years younger than me.”
“Oh, Jesus.”
“Yeah, and to top it off, after over twenty years of marriage and supporting him and his career, my mom asked for the bare minimum. She just wanted enough to live by and to finish paying off the mortgage. We’re talking she wanted pennies on the dollar from my dad’s fortune, but he was ready to fight. He didn’t want to give her anything. He hired some hot-shot lawyer to drag her through the mud, making her out to be money-hungry and cold-hearted. He said it cut him when she asked for a divorce. Can you believe that shit? After everything he did to her, and yet he was brokenhearted.”
“I get it,” I mumble.
“What?” Finn actually looks offended. His face is twisted up with indignation.
I sigh, unbothered. He’s misunderstanding my message, so I clarify. “Sometimes you don’t see that you’re a monster until the people you love most won’t tolerate you anymore.”
Finn sits on my words for a moment, letting them saturate. “Oh. Okay, yeah. I guess.” He nods slowly. “Anyway, Mom had a tough time for a while. I lived in the dorms but went to UNLV, so I was close enough to home to visit every weekend. I watched her crumble into depression. Then, one day, she just perked up. I remember it was after finals in my sophomore year. I brought home my girlfriend at the time for the first time, and I warned her not to be offended if Mom didn’t say much because she was in a bad place. But Mom had the entire house decorated for Christmas, which she hadn’t done the year before. She was baking and holiday music was playing.” Finn smiles at the sweet memory that’s clearly playing in his mind. “She was just alive again. I asked her what changed and she said her friend talked her into a boudoir photography shoot. She said she forgot how beautiful and powerful she was, but it helped her remember.
“From there, she started fighting back with my dad. She went to every court hearing. She sat through all the bullshit. She worked three different jobs to make ends meet. Eventually, she let the big house go and moved to Scottsdale. She even started dating again. All from seeing herself through the right lens. And that’s when I decided to start looking into what the hell boudoir was.” Finn laughs. “The descent into madness was swift from there.”
Oh damn. Of course he had to hit me with the sweetest, most sentimental bullshit he could conjure up. “Did you make all of that up just to convince me to do this?”
He smirks. “Why? Did it work?”
I roll my eyes. “Finn.”
He chuckles. “I didn’t make it up. It’s the truth. Every word.”
Taking a small sip from my glass, I let the bubbles of champagne pop on my tongue. “Lennox mentioned you got your pilot’s license.”
“Just my private. I wanted to work toward a commercial license and then one day go further and get the certs to fly for commercial airlines like my dad, but after everything came out…” He trails off before finishing off his glass. He doesn’t refill it. Instead, he turns to look at me hungrily. I know what’s going through his mind.