Even in the darkness, I swear I see the horseman’s brows rise.
“What was that?” he asks.
“My stomach—don’t think you can just change the subject—”
“Why in all the heavens would your stomach make that God-fearing sound?”
Right. I almost forgot that he doesn’t know anything about humans.
“That’s what stomachs do when you’re hungry,” I say. “They make noises.”
Death falls silent, and I know he’s remembering all over again how ill-equipped he is to have a human captive.
Is it too much to hope that he’ll just give up and decide to let me go?
It probably is. I sigh. Oh well.
I lay down on my side. “You can’t sleep next to me,” I say.
“I wasn’t planning on sleeping.”
My breath hitches for a moment, and I think about the way Death’s been looking at me lately, and my body comes to life, my pulse throbbing between my legs. But then I remember that the horseman doesn’t sleep. And anyway, he’s my kidnapper and my enemy, and sexual relations with him are off limits.
“Well,” I clear my throat, “you can’t not-sleep next to me either,” I say.
“If you’re hoping to make some grand escape, Laz—”
“Don’t shorten my name,” I say, making a face. He keeps on doing that.
“—then you are delusional. I will not let you out of my sight. Not tonight, not ever.”
Chapter 23
Pleasanton, Texas
January, Year 27 of the Horsemen
The horseman doesn’t leave my side, damn him.
As the hours tick by and the night grows colder and colder, I’ve curled myself into a tinier and tinier ball. My whole body shakes, and I can’t seem to get warm enough to fall into a deep sleep. So instead, I’m vividly fantasizing about being tucked under a heap of woolen blankets, a fire roaring at my side.
It almost helps.
Thanatos has respected my wishes—he hasn’t laid down near me. He has, however, decided to pace nearby. I can hear the crunch of plants being crushed beneath his boots and the sway of weeds brushing against his wings. Back and forth he walks. Back and forth, back and forth, back and— “W-will you p-please stop p-pacing?” It’s hard enough to sleep out here as it is.
The horseman’s footfalls come to a halt.
“This is the first time I have willingly kept myself in one place for so long,” he says out of the darkness. “It is … agitating.”
“G-go be a-agitated s-somewhere else,” I say.
There’s a pause, then— “Why does your voice sound like that? And what is that clicking noise that keeps coming from you?”
“B-because I’m c-cold,” I say. “N-normally I s-sleep inside—”
“Inside was an option,” he cuts in.
“—i-in a bed w-with blankets to k-keep me warm.”
Thanatos is silent.
Surely he’s aware of this.
I hear him stalk towards me. When I think he’s within arm’s reach, he kneels down next to me.
“Wh-what are you—？”
Before I can finish the thought, the horseman is laying his body out alongside mine. He pulls me against him. His armor hasn’t reappeared yet, and I nearly moan at the heat emanating off of him.
“You’re shaking again,” he says, alarmed.
“B-because I’m c-cold,” I remind him.
I can’t see his frown in the darkness, but I feel it all the same.
One of his wings comes around me, blanketing me in. And now fantasies about woolen blankets have been sidelined in favor of this.
“Better?” he asks softly, his voice like a caress. This is far more intimate than I bargained for.
And I like it. I like it so much. I can feel Thanatos’s delicious heat against my back and the warmth from his wing insulating me everywhere else. If I were a cat, I’d be purring. I melt into the horseman’s embrace, all my earlier declarations about him keeping his distance long forgotten.
“Mmm,” I murmur.
For some stretch of time, the two of us simply lay there like that, the horseman holding me closer than necessary and me secretly enjoying the crap out of it. Eventually, my body stops shaking and my teeth stop chattering.
He pulls me in tighter, and I might just be reading into this, but I think he’s pleased that I’m no longer shivering and stuttering from the cold.
“You don’t need to do this,” I say softly.
Several seconds pass before he answers.