I will get to the bottom of this.
Figure out where the gods and fate went wrong.
But first, I need to set eyes on her.
No, I have to set eyes on her, like a weak bitch the deeper part of me, the part that’s almost clawed its way to the surface, has become.
That part of me is supposed to be demonic and cutthroat, painfully, unforgivingly fucking ruthless, yet it wants to crawl after a little nobody, and drop to its knees before her like she’s the superior being. She isn’t.
She’s destroying me by existing and I fucking hate her for it.
If only I wasn’t unequivocally obsessed with her, too…
Twenty-One
London
I’m deep down the fucking rabbit hole. Like…gone.
I locked myself in my room and scoured the internet, but people there are crazier than I feel, so I shut that shit down quick and stuck to the basics.
Harry fucking Potter.
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m pretty sure that giant glowy thing Knight and creeper Knight stepped through was a portal of some sort. As in magic. Real fucking magic!
Tingles break across my skin, my fingers shaking at the thought, but I steady my wrist and finish putting on my mascara.
When finished, I toss everything into my bag and shove it back under the sink before gripping on to its edges.
I stare at my reflection, as I do for a moment each morning, usually wondering and waiting for a sign of significance to show itself, for answers to unknown questions to pop up and for my life to suddenly make half the sense Ben’s does to him.
Of course, that doesn’t happen, but there is something…different.
That hollow place that lived inside me as a child, the one I blocked out and pushed deep, deep down, it’s back, but it’s not the same. While it’s just as eager to find whatever the hell it’s been looking for, creating this knot of anxiousness behind my ribs, there’s also this strange softness there, almost like silk wrapped around a sleeping child. It’s almost as if my subconscious has been soothed; the overwhelming urgency I used to feel as a little girl gone, and in its place, patience. I don’t understand it, but I don’t understand a whole lot these days.
If I weren’t fascinated with crystals and obsessed with the moon and the stars, and the light and darkness, and the way my mood shifts based on the weather and so many more elemental and earthly things, I would probably be strapped down in an insane asylum somewhere right about now.
But as I take a step back, looking over my sleek-straight hairstyle for the day, black strapless top, and leather pants to match, my eyes find their way up to the mirror once more.
It’s not only the feelings within me that seem to have shifted.
My eyes are a little lighter blue, more the color of ice than water, but it has to be the lighting or the massive black wing I gave myself today.
My hair seems somehow lighter, the platinum nearly frost-white, but again, that must be the lighting.
But then, there’s my skin.
It’s clearer. Sort of flawless looking…but maybe that makeup tutorial I watched last week just finally paid off.
“Ready?” Ben calls from the other side of the door.
Sighing, I paint my lips the deepest purple I can find and then tear the door open.
Ben’s brows lift, but he says nothing. He’s well aware of what I like to call my mood montages. “Ready.”
We walk in mostly silence, him checking shit on his phone, me half lost in my mind, and out in the fresh open air, things that wouldn’t click when locked in my room fall together.
Witchy shit or not, the “Knights” are twins.
Identical twins, not some hallucination or mirrored X-Men power shit—jury is still out on the white eyes.
My senses have never led me astray, and if I were paying attention, I wouldn’t have been duped by Knight. The boys, they couldn’t be more different, kiss more differently. They even speak differently.
But, yes, the twisted two did both kiss and touch me, and the twin, that little shit, was really careful with his “tell me you want me”， but not so much so the night of the party. The twin finger-fucked me on his brother’s lap, admittedly driving me crazy with need, and then they pulled their little switch-hitter game without my having a clue. Legend tucked my head into his warm neck, allowing Knight to yank him off me, and then Knight tore me away to claim my orgasm as his own, but his twin did do all the lead-up work. Playful little deviant. Dare I say, he’s less scary than Knight.
He’s less everything…
A frown pulls at my brows and I rub my arms when they prickle with goose bumps, though I’m not sure what’s caused them, the thought of his gentle yet strong hands on my throat while he fucks me stupid or the thought of him possibly choking me out until I’m dead at his feet.
You’re a fucking mess, London, Jesus.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand then, and I whip around, feeling eyes on me, but no one is there, and when I face forward, Ben is before me.
“I’m meeting that Alex chick tonight, just FYI, so I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” He stuffs his phone into his pocket.
My pulse jumps at the name. Alex. She’s from their world, and those two worlds no longer mean rich ass kids in a fancy fucking private college.
“Sure you don’t want to blow her off?”
Ben smirks, kissing my temple, and heads toward the arena for hockey practice. “I’ll call you if plans change.”
“K,” I say, even though he’s already gone as I tug my bag higher on my shoulder.
I curve through campus, making my way to the coffee shop since I have a few extra minutes, but with each turn I take or shortcut around the large cement buildings, my pulse jumps into my throat, my heart beating faster and my palms beginning to sweat.
My fist tightens around my bag and I jerk my head over my shoulder, but again no one is there.
I clench my teeth together and speed walk around the last corner, cutting back into the main quad area, jerking to a stop when I see Trevor walking this way.
He’s yet to spot me, so I try to cut back the other way, but his head pops up before I can. His eyes narrow on my outfit before he forces a smile and starts jogging for me.
“Fuck,” I hiss, picking up my pace.
“Lon, wait up!”
“Can’t, sorry, running late!”
His footsteps grow nearer. “No, you’re not. I know your schedule, remember? Can’t lie to me, Lon.” He chuckles, but it’s fake. He’s pissed that he’s being dismissed. Good.
Pissed I’ve been ignoring him for weeks now, but my god, can a boy not take a hint?
“Okay, so how’s this… I don’t want to talk to you, Trevor. So, if you would, please kindly, fuck off.”
“Hooking up with some rich kids going to your head, I see.”
I jerk to a stop, spinning around and stepping into his space, which is annoying, as it’s exactly what he wants. His smirk is all-telling, even if he is attempting to hide his anger.
“The only thing going to my head is a dick three times the size of yours, so if you want to sit here and throw childish fits and insults, I’m game. I’ll go first. I was glad when I found out you cheated because that meant your lackluster cock was now someone else’s problem and I didn’t have to be the one to tell you to invest in some Viagra and maybe a pump or two.”