But I was stuck on this girl who had me on a hook.
“And who do you want to be?”
“I want to be the guy who’s pleasing you. The one who’s making you come. Over and over again. I want to make you beg my name.”
A flood of desire coated the atmosphere. Dakota released a wispy breath, and her fingers curled in my shirt, needing something to hang on to.
“Want to be the one who’s showing you how gorgeous you are,” I murmured as I wound my hand into her hair. “How beautiful you are. The way you steal my breath every time you walk into the room.”
She exhaled, shaky and long as I pulled her head to the side to expose her neck. I pressed my mouth there, to the silky, smooth skin, and I rolled my lips along the delicate slope. “Do you have any idea, Dakota? What you do to me?”
There was a tiny shake of her head. “No. Not with you.” Hesitation brimmed before she shifted to meet my eyes, this fierce girl whispering her truth into the lapping night. “You were the one person I wanted to be something different for.”
It fucking gutted me.
Seared me through with the hot blade of a knife.
“How could you ever think that?”
A trembling sound rolled up her throat. “How could I not, Ryder? How could I not think that you didn’t want me? That you didn’t desire me? That you wanted something different? Because I spent a whole lot of years questioning, what was it about me that you didn’t want. What weren’t you attracted to. My personality? Because I was pretty sure you liked that. Or was it my body?”
Pain leached into her voice, and she looked away when she asked, “Do you think I didn’t notice the type of women you went after?”
I reached out, taking her by the chin, prying those eyes back to mine. “I went after them because I couldn’t have the one woman that I wanted. Because I knew I would never be worthy of you, Dakota. Because I knew I’d never be good enough. And I’m still not, and here I stand, a fucking bastard for even thinking about touching you.”
I shouldn’t be.
Not yet.
Not until I fixed this.
And still I was sliding my arm around her waist, tugging her against me and walking her backward into the closest room which happened to be hers. The lamp glowed from her nightstand, and I edged her back until we were in front of the full-length mirror that was leaned against the wall.
Slowly, I shifted her around, and my hand slid around and came to rest on her stomach as I turned her to face the mirror. I looked at her reflection from over her shoulder.
Her chest heaved, and I could feel the shivers rolling through her. Shivers of need and ones that were coming from whatever wounds I’d unknowingly inflicted.
“Look at you,” I muttered at her ear, tugging her closer against me.
My cock was stone, pressing into the small of her back, and our breaths had gone ragged.
I watched as her gaze traced over herself.
Over us.
This gorgeous girl in front of me, all her beauty up against the hard planes of me where I towered over her.
My fingertips pressed into her stomach, needing her closer.
Dakota whimpered.
“Look at you,” I said again, voice so low.
“Do you see what I see? Because what I see is this fuckin’ stunning woman who’s got me so hard I can hardly think straight. So twisted up, I might black out. A woman who walks into the room and every head turns, drawn to her beauty.”
My hand wandered, gliding up her quivering stomach to come to just below her breasts.
“A goddess.” I breathed it at her ear.
Whimpering, she pressed back against me. “Ryder.”
I kept going, my voice low in the confines of the room. “Look at her. This woman who is so strong and fierce. One who strives for what she wants. Fights for it. But she’s also good, through and through. So thoughtful and kind that it breaks my heart looking at her because I know I could never be a match to who she is.”
I smoothed both my palms down the front of the pajama top and dipped them under, riding them back up, taking the material with me as I went.
And I was the one who was fucking trembling because I couldn’t wait to get to those gorgeous tits I knew were hiding underneath. Tits she’d driven me to madness with over all these years. Chills lifted on her flesh as I dragged the damp fabric up and pulled it over her head.
I grunted at the sight. “Fuck, look at you, Dakota.”
She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her breasts were heavy, dusky pink nipples peaked and hard.
I cupped them from the underside and dragged the pad of my thumbs over the pebbled tips, trying not to come in my pants because fuck, the number of times I’d imagined touching her like this.