I shiver. Graham shakes himself and looks away.
“Come on, let me get you familiar with the horses,” he says.
Graham leads us deeper into the stable, going past a few empty stalls. Hannah G hangs back, staring through the slitted windows to where the other girls are already in the ring. I keep in step with Graham.
“I get the distinct impression that you aren’t a fan of the Finish,” I say coolly. But here he is participating, not stopping it. He really is no better than them.
“Oh, I’m not,” Graham says, grinding his teeth together and rubbing at the patchy stubble on his jaw. He gives me a long side-eyed look, the kind that makes my skin tingle underneath it, but I refuse to look away. “I don’t want to be here at all, but Four was… unsettled by last night. I want to make sure that everything else goes smoothly, fairly, and that there won’t be any more… accidents. So, I’m here.”
Accidents, like he said before. If I die, it will be an “accident.”
“Is that what we’re calling Margaret, too?” I ask.
Graham nods. “One thing you’ll learn is that words have specific meaning here, and even though what happened… happened outside one of the events, it’s best to call it an accident. Truth is what they say it is. So, it was an accident because that’s all it can be. You understand?” he asks. And I don’t know him, but I can hear the warning. It’s not a threat, but it’s clear that this has been drilled into him and will now be expected of us.
“So what happened to last night’s… accident?” I ask, and then my stomach revolts at the very idea of calling Margaret’s murder something so polite. There was nothing polite about what happened to her.
Graham grimaces. “Margaret’s body was delivered to the coroner this morning. She’ll be hidden in the morgue until… until it’s over. I wrote the condolence letter to her family. I told them you tried to save her. I thought it was important that they know that someone… held her. That someone cared.”
My heart twinges, and I can’t look at him anymore, my vision blurring in front of me with tears for the first time since it all happened. It feels like a thousand years ago, but it was only twelve hours. Every minute here feels like a century.
“Thanks,” I say roughly.
We stop in front of a stall, and Graham clears his throat awkwardly. He turns to face the pair of us. “Right. So, um, this is going to be a really weird lesson, because you two need to be able to not just ride but jump and whatever in three days. So, these mares are our best for beginners, Starlight and Princess—”
“I call Princess,” Hannah G proclaims, darting over to the butternut-colored horse. She coos as she shoves into the stall, reaching forward to pat the side of the mare. “Oh, you’re just so pretty.”
I look over at Starlight, a dusky, gray-speckled mare that looks back at me with the same amount of wariness. Good, we’re on the same level of caution. Strong building blocks for our new working relationship.
“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, Starlight and Princess are really good mares. Kind and reliable. They’re definitely not, like, prizewinning thoroughbreds, but they’re already trained for this sort of thing, so it’s all about just earning their trust,” Graham explains. He steps over to Starlight, and his smile is different from the one that he’s been sporting this entire time. The bitterness slips away, and he leans into the horse’s side, stroking Starlight’s mane.
“Is she yours?” I ask.
Graham shakes his head. “No. She used to be my mother’s.”
I don’t know a thing about Graham and Pierce’s mother.
No. That’s not true. Now I know she won the Finish.
“Are we going to ride now?” Hannah G interrupts.
Graham’s expression hardens again. “No. You need to learn how to saddle a horse first.”
He takes us through the motions, teaching us how to greet our horses, how to put the saddle on them, how to check if they’re nervous or anything other than perfectly steady. He speaks with authority, and it’s clear, no matter how he acts, Graham is still a Remington. This is all in his blood.
“Now that your horses are all tacked up, let’s take them out to the practice ring. Come on,” Graham commands.
I swallow hard, gripping Starlight’s reins just a little too hard. The mare snorts and stomps a warning at me. “Sorry, sorry,” I whisper. “Look… this is my second time with a horse, so, uh…” I stutter to a stop as Hannah G stalks out of her stall, leading Princess and effectively cutting me off.
“Jesus, Walker, you’re so weird,” Hannah G sneers, elbowing me as she leads Princess down the stable hall. “Which way, Graham?”
“To the right, first barn door.”
I follow Hannah G, taking careful steps through hay and dirt.
“You’re going to be fine,” Graham says, leaning over to grab the mounting block.
“That’s what you say,” I sigh as we walk through the stable.
“It is what I say, since I’m your teacher,” Graham says smugly. When we enter the ring, I realize how much bigger it is than the stall. But the Ride must be even bigger. The magnitude of what’s going to happen in just three days is overwhelming.
“Hey, um, how long is the Ride?” I whisper softly.
“About four miles,” Graham says solemnly.
“How big is this horse arena?”
Graham swallows. “Much smaller than that. You can go around this ring in about fifteen seconds. It takes an average of ten minutes to get through the Ride.”
“Have you ever done the Ride?” I ask.
Graham doesn’t meet my eyes when he says, “I have. But it wasn’t really the Ride. It was just the path it’s raced on. The jumps and ditches are one thing. With the other riders working against you, that’s another.”
I laugh hoarsely. “Right.”
“Just learn how to mount your horse first,” Graham says, trying to distract me with a more manageable step. I nod and he clears his throat. “Hey, Hannah—”
“Hannah G. I’m not Hannah R,” she reminds us again.
What the fuck is so wrong with Hannah R that she doesn’t want to be mistaken for her?
“Right,” Graham mutters. “Come over so I can tell you how to mount—”
But Hannah G is already sliding one boot into her stirrup. She places her free hand to the saddle and swings her leg over in a perfect mount. Then she sits primly on the top of the horse and stares directly at Graham.
“I did a campaign with Gucci on horseback,” she says, like that’s something everyone does.
“Of course you did,” Graham says. He drops the mounting block right next to Starlight, then turns to me, offering one hand. “May I?”
I’m not stupid enough to not take the help. I grab his hand and immediately, the air in my lungs seems to dissipate. I shake the feeling away and pretend I don’t feel the heat of his body right behind me.
Get a fucking grip, Adina. This isn’t a period drama.
I will not let this Remington man distract me. I step up on the mounting block.