Taking the extra towel, I gently blot as much moisture from her hair as I can, trying to make sure I don’t pull it.
“Tell me if I hurt you,” I murmur, but I know she won’t. She’s like a zombie. I have no idea what’s going on. I suspect no one does; Chase would be here if he did.
Once her hair is dried to damp, I grab a newer Falcons hoodie that still has lots of its fleece lining left from my closet and put that over her head. Her skin is slowly warming, and she isn’t shivering anymore. She looks better—but she still hasn’t said a word.
Nearly out of my mind with worry, I lower to my knees on the floor in front of her. A million scenarios are flying through my brain, ranging from terrible to catastrophic. All I want is to know she’s okay. I need to know she’s okay.
“What happened, Ser?” I take her hands in mine, relieved by how much they’ve warmed since I got her out of the shower.
Her eyes glitter with unshed tears as she looks at me. My clothes drown her, and the combination makes her seem especially vulnerable. She looks so small; fragile.
“Did something happen with your mom?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
This eliminates the most obvious explanation, leaving me more confused than ever.
“Then what is it? Talk to me,” I beg. “Please.”
Seconds pass, and she doesn’t reply. She draws her hands into the sleeves of my sweatshirt, hiding them, and wraps her arms around her body, hugging herself.
“You can tell me anything.” My palms smooth up her back, squeezing reassuringly. “I promise I’ll have your back. But I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”
“It’s me,” she finally says. “The test was positive.” Her voice cracks, and my heart breaks along with it.
“What test?” I crane my neck and try to get a glimpse of her face, but she won’t look at me. “Are you pregnant?”
She hides her face in her hands, a sob wracking her body. My mind whirls as I process the implications of what a positive pregnancy test means for us. Pregnancy. A baby. Parenthood. A little scary, and a lot sooner than I imagined during my What If game earlier, but we can handle it. I’d do anything for her, shifting timelines included.
Crawling up to sit beside her on the bed, I wrap my arms around her as she continues to cry. “It’s okay, Tink. We can figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere. A pregnancy—”
She looks up at me, stricken. “No, Ty. The genetic test. My mom has a BRCA mutation, and I found out this morning that I do too.”
“BRCA?” I echo, not understanding and hating myself for it.
“It’s a cancer gene,” she says, another sob wracking her small frame. “It’s bad. Really bad. It means I’m more than likely to develop cancer in the future. I have—I have an appointment tomorrow to find out more.”
It’s like a bomb detonating in my brain. Seraphina. Cancer gene. The concepts wedge themselves in my mind, stuck as abstract ideas beyond my comprehension. I can’t reconcile it. I don’t want to accept that something could happen to her—that she could get sick like that.
Of all the explanations I’d been worried about, this one hadn’t even entered my mind as a possibility. I didn’t even know she even got tested. Why didn’t she tell me?
Then it hits me: she tried to.
“Ser.” Now it’s my voice that’s cracking. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve been here for you. I wish I’d known.” My chest aches so intensely I think my ribcage might break open. All the shit I’ve been worried about lately seems inconsequential in comparison to this.
Seraphina tears her gaze away from mine again. “I guess… I-I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear about it. You were so busy with hockey, and stressed out with your own stuff, and—"
That guts me all over again. If she believes that, I fucked up majorly along the way.
“Of course I’d want to know, Tink. I love you.” The words leap from my mouth before I can think it through. I don’t know if this is the right time or if she even wants to hear it. It’s just the truth.
“You what?” She turns to look at me with surprise across her face.
“I love you,” I tell her, tucking a lock of damp hair behind her ear. “So fucking much. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t. None of that other stuff means a thing without you.”
Her bottom lip wobbles. “You don’t have to say that just because you think you should.”
“I’m saying it because it’s true. I know what we agreed to going into this, but I want more, Ser. I want you. All of you. The label, a future, you name it.”
Tears spill down her cheeks, and she hides her face in my chest, crying even harder than before. Knowing she was hurting like this alone kills me. I tighten my arms around her, wishing more than anything I could fix things and cursing the fact I can’t.
“Y-you still want to be with me?” She can barely get the words out between her gulps for air. “Even if I might get sick or have to get surgery or—"
Her last sentence cuts me to the bone. Not because I don’t want to deal with that, but because it kills me to think of it happening to her. Fuck. Why is life so unfair?
“No matter what. I’m all in, Ser. I’d do anything for you. Name it, and it’s yours.”
She clings to me, bawling, while I fight the lump forming in my throat. How long has she been dealing with this alone?
“Does this have anything to do with what happened at Rob’s?” I ask quietly. The timing would explain everything.
“Uh-huh.” She gasps as she nods against me, clutching my shirt with her fingers.
Fuck. She’s had this hanging over her head a long time.
“You don’t have to go through this alone anymore, okay? I’m here.”
Seraphina hiccups. “Okay.”
An indeterminate length of time passes as I hold her, rubbing her back and trying to calm her down. It hurts me on every level to see how much pain she’s in knowing there’s so little I can do about it. It’s a visceral ache down to my bones.
I wait until she’s cried herself out and her sobs start to subside.
“Have you eaten?” I ask, stroking her hair.
“No,” she admits. “Not since yesterday.”
Damnit. I should’ve asked her this sooner. It’s well into the afternoon, and this means she’s long overdue for a meal.
I lean over and grab my phone off the nightstand. “Let me order some food. I’m going to shoot Mark a quick text, too. I want to give him some notice.”
Seraphina peers up at me, her lashes still wet with tears. “Notice?”
“Yeah. I’m giving him the week off. With that much time, he might want to fly out of town or go do something.”
“What?” She releases me and scoots back on my bed. “No, I can’t hog you all week.”
“Tink.” I press a finger to her lips. Training is the least important thing in the world on the heels of learning this. “Hockey can wait. Right now, you’re my only priority. I’m clearing my schedule. I’ll tell coach I’m out for tomorrow, too. Then I can come to your appointment if you want. Or I can be waiting for you when you get home. Either way, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”