“I want to take you somewhere,” I say. She stops in her tracks and turns back toward me with an arched brow.
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise,” I reply with a lopsided grin.
“Will I like it?” she asks.
“Maybe.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Could be.”
“Will you wear that?” She points to my borrowed outfit.
“If you want me to.” I laugh.
She saunters toward me, pressing her index finger to my chin. “Will there be sex involved?”
My laughter fades away. “I’d like there to be.”
“Okay, good. I’m in. Let me just run upstairs and grab my keys,” she says as she bounces away from me toward the stairs. My eyes follow her every step of the way until she disappears up into the stairwell.
Twenty minutes later, I pull into the dark parking lot and Sage turns to stare at me with confusion.
“How is this dangerous or sexy?” she asks, gesturing toward the dark and empty church looming before us.
“I lied,” I reply with a sheepish smile. The parking lot is littered with potholes and weeds growing up through the cracks. Last thing I heard, the church facility is used sparingly for functions but doesn’t operate the way it used to when I was a kid.
As I put the truck into park, I just stare at it for a moment.
“Why did you bring me here?” she whispers, clearly noticing the melancholy nostalgia on my face.
“This is where I grew up. This is who I am,” I reply in a near-silent mumble. “Not that big fancy megachurch or the TV
broadcasts. You asked if I believe in God, and the answer is yes. This is where I first met him.”
I notice her smile slightly in my periphery as she reaches out and touches my hand. “Let’s go inside.”
My head snaps in her direction. “What? You can’t be serious. That’s trespassing.”
She rolls her eyes theatrically with a scoff. “Come on, Goody Two-shoes. Let’s go get in some trouble.” With that, she hops out of the truck and walks toward the dark church.
“I’ve already been to jail today,” I call, but she ignores me.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself before following behind.
As I jog up to her, I glance in all directions. We’re no longer in the city center, but we’re not really out of the city enough to feel entirely safe. There’s a good chance we’re not the only people looking to break into this place tonight.
“There aren’t even security cameras,” she says as she pulls on the front doors. “This will be a piece of cake.”
“Sure,” I reply skeptically. Then, I meander my way around the back, getting hit with another wave of memories as I see the dilapidated playground on the back side. They seriously haven’t updated that thing in twenty-five years?
The back door that leads to the kitchen is locked too, but when Sage tugs on the large sliding door to the nursery, it budges. Holy shit, we’re really going to break into this place.
Why? I have no fucking clue.
With some strength, we’re able to shimmy it open enough to slide inside. And just like that, I’m transported back in time.
Everything from the walls to the floor brings back an onslaught of memories and suddenly, I’m moving through the
church, making my way to the center like it’s calling to me. A siren song from my childhood.
The moment I walk into the main space, I stop in my tracks and stare ahead. It’s like reattaching my own shadow or taking a breath I’ve been holding for twenty-five years. I feel a part of my childhood I forgot even existed.
Suddenly, Sage is at my side, her hand drifting down my arm and lacing her fingers with mine.
“Do you smell that?” I whisper, barely able to even move.
“The dust or the mold?” she replies with a cough, making me smile.
“I haven’t smelled that in over two decades. It smells like home.”
Her hand squeezes mine. Then she pulls me up to the front.
Lit only by the bright exterior lights shining through the windows, the first thing I notice is that the carpet that once lined the aisles has been pulled up, leaving exposed concrete below. The pews seem to be in disrepair and the windows above the pulpit have been boarded up.
How could they let this happen?
This place used to be beautiful. People worshiped here.
This was God’s house and we let it fall into decay.
When we reach the front, Sage nudges me toward the pulpit. I stare at her in confusion, so she nudges me again.
“Go ahead.”
“And what?” I ask.
“Stand up there. Pretend this place is yours.”
I laugh, but then I do as she says. I walk up to the dusty podium and I place my hands against the surface, staring out at the empty pews in the dim light.
“What would you do?” she asks, sitting in the first pew and resting her hands in her lap. “If this place was yours.”
Thinking about it for a moment, I push away everything with my father and his church. I let twelve-year-old Adam, who had been torn away from the life he knew, answer her question.
“I’d…fill the rec room with Mary’s enchiladas and I’d feed as many people in Austin as we could.”
I can barely see her smile in the darkness. So I go on.
“I’d look every member of the congregation in the eye. I’d learn their names and I’d make sure each and every one knows they are all worthy and loved by God.”
My throat stings and my eyes grow moist as I struggle to speak the next one. With a quiver in my lip, I mutter with conviction, “I’d hang a rainbow flag above the door so Isaac knows everyone is welcome.”
Sage’s smile grows brighter, the light outside catching a glint of moisture in her eyes.
“I’d make this place feel like home.”
Slowly, she stands and walks toward me, squeezing herself between me and the pulpit. “I like the sound of that,” she whispers as she lifts onto her toes to kiss me.
Before taking her lips with mine, I look her in the eye.
“Would you be there?”
Her expression changes as she lowers to her feet without a kiss. Averting her eyes, she presses her hands to my chest.
“I don’t know, Adam.”
And I understand. This chasm between us isn’t something we can cross easily. How could you build a life with a person so fundamentally different? What could our future possibly hold when our pasts are so vastly contradictory?
But for now, I love the feel of her in my arms and the comfort of her in my life. For now, I’ll savor that much.
Putting my fingers under her chin, I lift her eyes until she’s staring at me. “It’s okay,” I whisper, so she knows. We may not be forever, but we can be for now.
Grabbing the backs of her thighs, I swiftly lift her onto the surface and position myself between her legs. She wraps her arms around my neck and goes in for the kiss again. This time, I take it, reveling in the warm sweetness of her lips and how much I love playing with that ring with my tongue.
Before we get too hot with this kiss, I pull away. “So what about you?” I ask, leaning away to look into her eyes.
“What would I do if this church was mine?” she replies with lifted brows. “Probably turn it into a sex club.”