“Because there’s nothing for me to be cured of. I am this way because I was born like this, and before you say anything more…this is part of who I am, and anyone trying to cure someone of being gay is a quack and deluding themselves and you. Part of the reason I didn’t tell you was because I knew you would act this way.”
Daniel slowly sat down, trying not to make any noise and sending James all the strength and care he possibly could. He would do just about anything to prevent James from having to go through this, but it was a gay rite of passage for most people.
There were stages to coming out. The first was that you had to accept yourself as gay, then you told a few people close to you, finally you told your family…and eventually you ran out of people to come out to when you decided to live a fully out and open life.
“But the reverend…”
“You mean the same one who lied to everyone in the church? The one who took you all for fools? Reverend Sociopathic Phony. Is that the one?” James wasn’t giving an inch.
“James. We just want to try to understand,” Phillip interjected.
“I don’t think Mom wants to understand. All she wants is for things to be exactly the way she expects them to be, and I can’t do that anymore. I won’t try to live up to her ideals and what she thinks she wants.” Man, James was on a roll. Daniel sat back and could only hope that the hard line he was taking didn’t end up scorching the earth of his relationship with his parents to the point where there was no turning back.
“Both of you need to take a step back,” Phillip said, playing what sounded like the voice of reason. “Grace, James is our son, an adult, and he can make his own choices.”
“And I’m his mother.”
“With no right to make decisions for any of our grown children.” Phillip paused, and Daniel leaned forward. “You’ve pushed and prodded for years, and now it’s coming back to haunt you. I sat by and watched as you insinuated yourself into this wedding. You worked around Holly to change her wedding service and you did the same with her dress. And who fixed both of those problems?” Phillip grew quiet.
“The person you want to kick out of the house,” James pressed. “You don’t understand, so you demand and fuss and expect things to be done your way.” Frustration rang in his words. Daniel wished he could help him, but everyone had to find their own way through this, even though it could be difficult. “I’m gay, Mom. I will never fall in love with a woman or get married to one. That isn’t going to happen.”
“But it’s a sin…”
“No, it’s not, but cheating is, and so is changing the order for your daughter’s wedding dress, Mom. Pride is a sin too. And just so you know, that old ‘it’s a sin’ argument is a bunch of crap. I was made this way. I came down the birth canal gay. I didn’t choose it, and I’m certainly not going to deny that part of myself because it makes you feel better. And yes, Daniella is really Daniel, and he came to this wedding as my date because of you and your expectations.”
“You’re blaming this whole thing on me,” Grace pouted.
Daniel could almost see the high-and-mighty expression on Grace’s face. He couldn’t take any more and he stood, walking quietly across the carpet and into the kitchen. Grace looked up from where she’d been staring at the place mat in front of her.
“Your son loves you enough to ask me to be his date to make you happy,” Daniel said. “He didn’t want to disappoint you.” Daniel placed his hand on James’s shoulder. “You can be angry all you want at me, but all he wanted to do was please you.” He turned to Phillip. “Both of you.”
“I only want him to be happy.”
“No, Mom. You wanted me to be happy as long as it made you happy.” James pointed to the wall. “Those stupid commandments. That was your way of telling us what you expected, but what about us and what we expect? Most of your children are adults now, and that means that we expect things too. We expect to be loved unconditionally, whether we’re gay or not. We expect you to listen to us and value our opinions. You want respect? Respect is earned, not given, and it doesn’t come with some needlepoint sampler on a wall.”
“James, I think that’s quite enough,” Phillip said firmly. “She is your mother.”
“I know.”
Grace lifted her gaze. “What I really want to understand is why?”
“Why what?” James asked. “Why am I this way?”