He lifted the bottle, pouring a glug of whiskey into his father’s mug.
“You may as well.” James waited while they both took a couple of sips and then began. “This is what’s going to happen. We have an officiant and the wedding will be legal.”
“Who’s going to do the wedding?” his dad asked. “Rip the bandage off and get this over with.”
“Lala Traviata,” James answered.
His mother paused with the mug halfway to her lips. “Who?”
“I’ve performed weddings in many states, but only as my drag persona, Lala Traviata. That’s how the license will be signed and how my weddings are performed.” Daniel remained calm, while James’s insides felt like they had been thrown into a blender.
“Mom, Dad, like to or not, Holly and Howard are going to have a drag wedding. Or at least a wedding officiated by a drag queen. Daniel is available and he will perform the ceremony as Lala. It’s how he does them, and Holly and Howard have agreed.” Both his parents remained silent, each reaching for the whiskey bottle at the same time. Dad added a splash more whiskey to both mugs and set the bottle down within easy reach.
“I’d ask if you were kidding, but I can see this is serious. So I’m going to ask how this is going to work. Will you be dressed as a nun or something?”
“Dad!” James interjected.
“No,” Daniel answered calmly. “The service has already been reworked to remove the biblical readings, and they’ll be replaced with literature and poetry about the meaning of love, which is what we’re really here to celebrate. I’ve done this before, granted not in a setting like this, but we’ll make do. And your daughter and son-in-law will be married and they can go forward with their lives together.”
His mom and dad turned to each other, saying nothing. His dad was stunned. There was no denying that for a second. James waited for his mother to react. She sat back in her chair, placing her mug on the table. Finally, she pushed her chair back, stood, and slowly went over to the sink. Was there going to be an explosion, tears, maybe some of both?
“Really, I don’t know what to say at all.” She turned around. “If I’m honest, and I’ve had enough whiskey to loosen my tongue, I don’t give a fuck who wears what at this wedding.” She wove slightly as she approached Daniel. “At this point I could care less if you marry them wearing nothing but a thong, a corset, high heels, and a feather boa. Just get them married and on that damned honeymoon before I have an ulcer or drink myself into oblivion.” She snatched up her mug, drank the last of the now coffee-flavored liquor, and started for the hallway. “Come on, Phillip, we need to get dressed.”
“Okay, but am I supposed to wear a dress now?” he asked as he left the table.
“No, Dad. You wear your tux. Just leave the rest of it to us.” Good lord, James was going to need that whiskey too.
* * *
“Are you done in the bathroom?” James asked Daniel as he grabbed his things.
“Not yet.”
“Did you shower?” James watched as Daniel wandered the bedroom in a pink robe. He was just trying to figure out where they were in the dressing process.
“Yes. You go ahead and shower, then return here. There are things we need to do before dressing.” He pulled out a ton of makeup, brushes, lipsticks, laying it all out on the dresser. James didn’t ask what was going on, just grabbed his things and raced across to the bathroom. He showered quickly, returning to the bedroom, where Daniel had added creams and lotions to the myriad of product already on display. “I got this out for you. It’s a moisturizer—rub a little into the skin of your face and neck. It will soothe and moisturize, making your skin really soft.”
James went right up behind Daniel, arms sliding around his waist. “Honey, you use whatever you want on your face. I have my shaving cream and soap and water. That’s all I need, except a little cologne.” He glanced around the room. “Doesn’t Lala need to get dressed? What are you going to wear? Did you bring anything?” James didn’t remember seeing any clothes that he thought Lala would necessarily wear, especially not on the stage.
Daniel crouched down, that cute little butt waving seductively in the air. He was tempted to grab it and let nature take its course, because…damn. Daniel pulled out the biggest suitcase and set it on the bed, opening it almost reverently. “I always take a little Lala wherever I go.”
A firm knock on the door interrupted their moment. Holly barely paused before bursting into the room. “Can you help me with my makeup?” She seemed flustered and looked like hell.