“Well, at least she sounds hot,” I say. “A singsong voice.”
Nothing. Not a word. His eye twitches as he slams his foot down on the accelerator. He pulls onto a long stretch of road towards the airport, with no streetlights in a tunnel of trees.
Another Bad Omens song plays, and I tap my foot to the song.
I ask what time we take off – no response .
I ask why he’s being an idiot – no response.
I ask if he wants to talk about what happened earlier, and, of course, there’s no response. Slapping him would be acceptable, right?
“Come on, Kade. Are you going to give me the silent treatment the entire trip?”
“I don’t plan on seeing you this entire trip,” he replies, monotone. “As soon as we land, this nightmare is over.”
I grit my teeth, annoyance and fury in my veins.
Kade has every right to be mad at me, but he still walked away. He still claims to despise me.
Yet right now I’m wearing his jacket because I was cold. If Kade truly, truly loathes the ground I walk on, why is he even taking me on this jet with him? Why did he back me against the wall in the studio? Follow me out of the manor to see who I was out talking to at the gate? Why pleasure me?
Why did he try to kiss me?
I gather enough courage to speak and turn to him. “I didn’t know what I was doing,” I say, filling the silence and attempting to calm my nerves.
I twist my fingers together. I’ve imagined this conversation a million ways, and it’s always easier to speak out in my head. Why is it so hard to admit what happened?
Kade driving faster and ignoring me isn’t helping.
“That night, I was—” Raped.
I stop, a lump sticking in my throat. I fail to say it aloud.
“It wasn’t…” What you think. “I didn’t…” Want to do it. But all I can finish with is, “I’m… I’m sorry.”
I look out the window to hide the tears building behind my eyes as I try and fail to use my voice. If I tell him what happened and how many times, he’ll think I’m dirtier than he already does. Used. Worthless. Or he’ll say I’m a liar. He might not believe me, and then I’d be called an attention-seeker, a manipulator – toxic.
I want so badly to tell him the truth, but it won’t come out.
Still no reply.
“Sorry,” I say again.
Kade scoffs. “Don’t waste your breath. I really don’t give a shit.”
I shake my head. “You obviously do, or you’d stop having such a terrible attitude with me.”
I turn to face him again and let a tear slip down my cheek, my lip trembling. “I loved you. I wanted everything with you. Why would I ruin that? I would never intentionally—”
My body jerks forward as Kade slams on the brakes, the tyres screeching on the road until the car comes to a stop. Hair over my face, hands on the dashboard, I watch him with wide eyes as he heaves in breaths and grabs his lighter.
He shoves the door open and climbs out.
“Where are you—”
My voice is cut off by him slamming the door shut. I turn to look behind the car and see him running both hands through his hair.
I open the car door. “Do you know what? Fuck you, Kade!”
I walk towards him, his sleepy, fuming eyes on me as he puffs on a joint, and stop in front of him. “You left me. I needed you, and you left without even trying to fight for me!”
“Why would I fight for you?” he sneers. “I saw what happened in that video, and that was enough to show me your true colours. What’s done is done, right? Get back in the fucking car and get out of my sight.”
I snatch his joint and throw it away. “I didn’t know what I was doing! I wanted you—”
“Stacey, I swear to fucking God. Shut the fuck up.”
He moves closer. “You don’t deserve time to explain why you did what you did, and I really don’t care. I dodged a bullet getting away from you.”
My teeth clench, fresh tears spilling. “I wanted to go home to you. I cried for you.”
“You cried for me? When? While you were on top of him?”
Kade takes a step towards me. There’re inches between us, and I don’t flinch as he takes hold of my jaw. It’s not firm or painful but enough to show he could dominate me in a second. Despite his words, I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“I saw the proof of you with him.” He releases my jaw and shoulders past me. “They’re waiting for us at the jet. Move or I’ll leave you here.”
Defeated, I stand there and consider my options. I can either grab my bags and call an Uber to take me to the main terminal for our original flight, or I can go with Kade to this ridiculous and expensive jet and stay silent the entire trip.
Because fuck him. Losing your voice to everyone is one thing, but losing your voice to someone you loved – trusted – is ten million times worse.
I’ve never been heard. My dad didn’t even listen when I told him about Chris abusing me.
Staying silent is like being in a mental prison.
A chill blows up my dress, and I decide to walk back to the passenger seat and slide the door closed.
“I hate you,” I immaturely say. “You’ll never touch me again.”
“Noted.” He speeds down the road, his elbow resting on the side of the car door.
He scans a badge at a fence, which then slides. He drives straight into the hangar to a small silver jet with a sharp nose.
I’ve never seen one before. Sure, Nora is rich, but we always fly commercial whenever we leave the country.
A man in a suit stands at the bottom of the pulled-down steps.
Kade nods to him when we walk towards the jet. “Barry.”
“Sir,” he replies. “We’ll get your bags.” His eyes land on me. “Miss Rhodes.”
I tilt my head. “Hello.”
“He’s my assistant,” Kade informs me as he leads me to the steps.
“How can you afford this?” I ask in awe, my eyes like saucers.
Kade’s only response – to my surprise – is to wrap his fingers around my wrist as I stumble at the top of the steps after seeing the cream leather and oak interior.
“No, really, how can you afford this?”
I’m staring at the minibar full of wine and champagne and other expensive things. It’s like a mini home in a plane with the sofa and the eight chairs with tables between them. I know his family has a lot of money, but not this much.
So what the hell does he do to be able to afford this?
I’m so damn confused.
Kade nudges me forward when my feet refuse to move.
The door closes and the young man with the English accent – Barry, Kade’s assistant – talks him through the flight plan and a meeting he has scheduled while he’s in America. He confirms that Kade’s dogs are currently out in the manor grounds with the staff, and that they’ll attend their advanced training lesson later in the day.
I raise a brow when Kade pulls his laptop out.
I take the seat across from him, still unable to find any words beyond fuck and Jesus. I’ve forgotten I was just yelling at him as I admire our surroundings.
“Don’t tell Luciella about this,” Kade says.