The security is tight – all the houses need codes to enter the grounds. Nora asked me when I was growing up if I wanted to have sleepovers for my birthday, celebratory parties or anything that got my friends here, but I always said no.
I didn’t want any of them near the monster that lives inside those walls.
Kade stops at the biggest house – three floors of white brick and unused horse stables at the back. An empty pool and overgrown weeds make it look eerie.
He turns his engine off and flicks the cigarette out the window without turning to look at me. He taps his finger on his lap, the muscle in his jaw straining.
Say something, I want to shout. Yell at me. Anything!
I drag my gaze away from him, letting out a sigh as I grab my heels. I don’t say anything as I unclip my belt, and I stay quiet as I open the door and leave the car.
I reach the gate, ready to push in my code, when I hear the engine start again. I peer over my shoulder, and our eyes meet like a clash of thunder. Goosebumps erupt over my skin, a thrill of electricity rushing in my veins. His eyes are as electric as I remember, but there’s something else behind them.
Something dark that wasn’t there before.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “For driving me home.”
For a split second, I think he might actually say something back. But instead, he looks me up and down slowly, taking in my aftersex appearance, and draws his gaze away from me with a shake of his head.
He’s disappointed.
Kade lights another cigarette and turns his rock music up loud enough to wake my stepfamily before speeding off without giving me another glance.
Yep. He still despises me.
And after what I did to him, he has every reason to.
I quickly make my way to my bedroom on the top floor of the manor, letting out a breath of relief when I shut the door behind me. My back presses to the wood, and I close my eyes.
My eyes burn, fighting tears I refuse to let fall.
The first time I ever felt this way, this overwhelming feeling, was when we met. He’d interrupted me by the pool at his manor.
I remember the way he looked at me, and how it made a warmth build in my chest. His eyes were so full of life. We’d smoked a cigarette together in blissful, comfortable silence, before he turned into an asshole.
I’d tried to ignore him for years. But being around my best friend’s twin brother was too much – there was too strong a pull between us.
Until that night, when everything changed.
Kade Mitchell has been the broken shadow in my life ever since, and it’s all my fault .
My heels drop to the floor, and I lick my lips, remembering a time when I’d do it and be able to taste mint and faint tobacco.
I shake my head, pushing away the lone tears sliding down my cheek.
Without turning the light on, I pull my dress off and unclip my bra, ready to remove my underwear. But before I can do anything else, a firm grip wraps around my throat, causing a strangled gasp to catch in my chest as the person backs me away from the door and slams me into the mattress.
Air rushes out of my lungs from the impact in a choked-out cough. Pressure builds behind my eyes as they fly open in fear to see Chris – my evil and deluded stepbrother – above me.
I try to slap his arms as hard as I can, so he’ll release his painful hold, but it only causes him to tighten it and lower himself onto me, crushing my nearly naked body between him and the bed.
“Who the fuck was that?”
2
STACEY
Ilove dancing in the dark.
When I’m surrounded by carnage, which is often, it’s peaceful – an escape. I enjoy mentally vanishing from existence, even if it’s only for a moment.
Sometimes, I close my eyes and block out everything as my body moves around the hoop, or as the silks wrap around my limbs while I hang mid-air. Usually, halfway through my routine, I’ll free flow, head lolling to the beat, imagining a silent audience that can’t take their eyes off me.
Music will play, the genre completely dependent on my mood. I’ll tell myself that anxiety and unnecessary voices don’t exist. That they’re nothing but void thoughts desperate to destroy my calm. As each chord strikes, the black tendrils around my heart will shrivel away.
There was a time when one person was able to make me ignore that side of myself. I helped him with his own darkness, and he made me feel alive, sustaining me with tender touches and words, stolen kisses and nights in his bed when no one knew. I was happy.
I thought I was safe. I thought I was free.
Until I wasn’t.
But the past is the past. It’s nothing a bit of music can’t temporarily fix.
“Spiracle” by Flower Face echoes around the studio I’ve been dancing in since I was a teen. Whenever this song plays, I think of him.
I remember the way I felt sitting on the sofa across from Lu. Nervous. On fire. Wishing I was brave enough to touch him. His hand was so close to my own, and I dared myself to take it, to feel his palm in mine, to know how soft it was, but I was terrified of his refusal.
He hated being touched – it would make him flinch and look as if he was in pain. Then his pinkie grazed mine under the blanket that we shared, eyes on the TV, and I fought a smile.
It was from then that it really started. It wasn’t a dare – it was real.
The studio is empty, like it always is after classes end. The colourful LED lights are dimmed, but sometimes, I turn them off completely. It’s relaxing, just closing my mind off from this world and being in my own – my axis shifts, and everything stops while I dance .
But in a few hours, Chris will pick me up, and it will all come crashing down – and I’ll remember my true reality.
The music cuts out, and I stop, gripping the hoop while I stay suspended upside down, one leg hooked over to keep me stable. I narrow my eyes at the screen of my phone – the text that’s popped up has interrupted my song and disconnected the Bluetooth.
I flip down onto the crash mat, tightening the bobble in my hair as I walk to the other side of the room, my bare feet slapping over the flooring. Leaning against the fully mirrored wall, I open the messages in our group chat.
Lu: My mum and Ewan just left. I think Kade and his friends are going out, so we’ll have the entire manor to ourselves for the party.
Ty: I’m still at my aunt’s house. But I’ll see you soon!
Her mum and stepdad Ewan are going to America for a few weeks, something about a meeting with her biological father’s therapist to possibly get him accepted time in public. But so far all his appeals have been declined.
I mean, I can’t see him ever being allowed time away from the institution. He’s terrifying. I spoke to him on the phone once while Lu hurried out of the bathroom, and his voice alone sent shivers through my body. He knew my name and warned me not to hurt his son like I was the monster.
His voice was so deep and dangerous, I think I’d honestly pass out if I ever met him. As much as his son resembles him, I’d run in the opposite direction of Tobias Mitchell.
He’s a diagnosed psychopath. A killer.
After replying to say I can’t wait, I quickly send Chris a text telling him not to bother picking me up. I have the dress with me I’m wearing tonight, and I can grab a shower at Lu’s too.
My stepbrother will definitely be pissed, but he’s always mad at me.