“What are you doing here?” I practically bawled into him.
“I missed you.”
“You what?”
His arms tightened around me. “I missed you very much.”
Oh hell.
“I had to come see you,” he continued on.
“You were here, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to distract you,” that low voice explained, his hand cupping the back of my neck. “I knew you were going to do it.”
His words only made me want to cry more, but not necessarily just tears of joy. “I’m dying. I need you to get me a Segway. I’m never walking ever again,” I blubbered.
“You’re not dying, and I’m not buying you that,” he said.
“Everything hurts.”
Was he laughing? “I’m sure.”
I realized I didn’t care if he was laughing at my expense. “Can you carry me?”
“You’re insulting me, Van. Of course I can.” I thought he kissed my cheek, but I couldn’t be sure because my eyes were closed and I was scared to open them and find that I was dreaming and imagining this all happening. “But will I?” he asked.
I only embraced him tighter and squeezed my exhausted thighs around him as much as I could, which probably only lasted three seconds total. It was a miracle I managed to do that, honestly.
I was pretty sure his mouth grazed my temple and I sniffled, pausing. “Are you kissing me?”
“Yes. I’m so proud of you.”
“Okay,” I whined with a sniffle. Yeah, I hugged that big neck even tighter. “Will you take me home, big guy?”
My no-nonsense, no-bullshit Aiden said it. “After you walk around for ten minutes to cool down.”
* * *
“You need to replenish your carbs,” Aiden said as he came into my room with a plate in his hand. On it was brown rice, black-eyed peas, an entire avocado, what looked like roasted and sliced squash, and perched on the edge was an entire apple. He had a glass of water in his other hand and a small bottle of coconut water tucked under his arm.
I sat up in bed with a yawn, tossing the throw I’d slept wrapped in to the side. “You’re an angel.” I still couldn’t believe he’d come back. It didn’t seem real.
He walked over to the side of the bed, dropped his hip on the edge, and passed over the glass of water first. “Did you have a good nap?”
Considering I’d gone straight from the car to the bathroom, where I’d sat in the tub cross-legged and showered, and then dragged my way back to my room and passed the hell out, I felt pretty well. The muscles in my legs were incredibly tight and even my shoulders felt extremely tense. I felt ill, but I figured that was only because I should have eaten more than the two bananas Aiden had shoved into my hand on the car ride back and the bag of mixed nuts Zac, who had been waiting on a bench after the marathon, shared with me.
“Yeah,” I told him, chugging down half the water before taking the plate from his hand and digging in without another word.
I caught Aiden watching me when I took the time to look at him, but I was so busy inhaling the food, I didn’t do it much. About three-fourths of the way through my plate, I finally wiped at my chin with the back of my hand and shot him a grateful smile. “Thank you so much for making that for me.”
“Uh-huh.” He pointed at the corner of his mouth. “You have rice right there.”
Wiping at the spot he was pointing out, I asked, “How long was I asleep?”
“About three hours.”
Three hours? Shit, I didn’t think I’d slept that long.
“Van.” Aiden’s face swam into my groggy vision. “What were you going to tell me before your run?”
Aww shit. Shit, shit, shit. Had I completely forgotten about it? No. I’d thought about what I’d told him at least a thousand times in the four hours it took me to run. I’d wanted to kick myself in the ass for saying anything at least half the time. The other half of the time, when I was reminding myself I was amazing and I was running a marathon so I could tackle the world and Iron Man competitions, I felt like I’d done the right thing.
With a plate of food he’d cooked for me on my lap and a bottle of coconut water in between his massive thighs and an empty glass on my nightstand, I was going to tell Aiden I loved him.
I loved him. I loved him so much I would do just about anything for him. I loved him enough to risk spending the next four and a half years of my life with a man who would more than likely divorce me and move on with his career.
Because fuck it, what was life if you didn’t live it and make the most out of it? What was life without loving someone who cared about you a lot more than he cared about anyone else? That was my truth. Aiden had hugged me and told me he was proud of me in front of reporters and strangers alike, when he held on to his privacy with both hands.
And it hadn’t been fake.
I could do this.
I would.
Because I would rather tell him than spend the rest of my life wondering about what would have happened if I told him he meant the world to me. That he was the first new person in my life I completely trusted. That I could settle for being number two in his life until he had more time.
So I said it, even though my fingers were gripping the plate so hard I was worried it would break. I made myself look him in the eye as I did it. “I was going to tell you… I was going to tell you that I love you. I know you said you don’t want a relationship, and I know things between us are super complicated—”
The plate in my hands was taken away.
“—but I love you. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. I didn’t want to be—”
“Vanessa.”
“I don’t want to be someone’s number two or number three priority because sometimes I like to be greedy—”
“Van.”
“—but I can’t help how I feel. I’ve tried to stop, I swear. But I couldn’t.”
Then it came. “Shut up.”
I closed my mouth and frowned at the bearded face frowning down at me.
“Did you listen to anything I told you when you finished your run? I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much you can’t begin to comprehend how much. I didn’t want to leave you. I kept trying to talk myself out of going. Why do you think I never brought it up?”
Now that had me thinking. “But… you didn’t say anything when you left. You took Leo.”
“You didn’t ask me to stay.” He squeezed my hands. “I took Leo because I couldn’t take you. I assumed you wanted to stay with Diana and do your marathon because you didn’t feel the same. I was going to ask you to come with me.”
“You were?”
That handsome, wonderful face leaned closer to mine. “How do you not know that you mean the world to me? I haven’t made it clear enough?”
“I don’t know,” I stuttered. “Do you love me?”
His gaze was so intent the entire world seemed to stop. “You tell me. I never stop thinking about you. I worry about you all the time. Every beautiful thing I see reminds me of you. I can’t finish my practices in Colorado without wishing you were around,” he said in a steady tone. “You tell me what I feel.”