Fake relationship. Rebrand his image.
Oh my God. My father was telling the truth. How could he have possibly known? I’m so stupid for not heeding his warning.
But I’m not stupid, am I? It was a rumor.
But there’s a reason rumors exist. There’s a reason they’re so widely believed by people. And it’s usually because there’s an inkling of truth in there.
Hayes has a temper? Check.
Hayes was a womanizer? Check.
I mean, the timing of everything makes sense. Hayes was getting a lot of hate over his reckless behavior, and he was getting involved in scandals left and right. And the moment I entered his life, everyone magically started to like him again.
Has he really kept me around this whole time to look like a decent guy?
The warning signs were right there—they were right in front of me. He lied to me about his occupation, then he kept Sienna a secret from me. I could’ve stopped all of this from ever happening if I’d guarded my heart better. And as betrayed as I feel by Hayes, the only person I can blame for getting me into this mess is myself.
When the guys exit the kitchen, I run as fast as I can down the stairs, and I don’t look back.
I’m sprinting across the driveway barefoot, but I know that if I stop, a part of me will want to march into Hayes’ room and demand that we talk. I need space to think. I need to digest all of this. I don’t want to see Hayes’ face or hear his voice.
He had an ulterior motive this entire time. Did he even mean it when he told me he loved me? Can I trust anything that’s come out of his mouth?
I can’t believe I’ve let myself get taken advantage of. Twice.
Tears run like river rapids down my face as I slam my car door. I wrap my hands around the steering wheel and bang my spine against the back of my seat. In the quiet of the early morning, my sobs drown out the light trilling of birds and the purr of an engine somewhere in the distance.
You know when your life is going too well, and you just feel like something bad is bound to happen? That bad has been waiting on the horizon for me this whole time, in the form of Hayes Hollings. Little did I know that the person who makes my sun rise every morning would also be the same person responsible for darkening my skies.
36
SAY GOODBYE TO THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW
AERIS
ME: We need to talk.
I’ve ghosted Hayes for the past four days, and that’s the best I could come up with. He opened the thread as soon as I sent the message to him, and he responded with a vague “Okay.”
I’ve paced back and forth outside of Hayes’ house for twenty minutes before finally getting the courage to knock on his door. I knew this conversation was coming, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult. The minute I see him, I want to reacquaint myself with his lips, even despite the sensible voice in my head telling me to stay far away.
He looks just as bad as I do. There are dark circles under his eyes, his hair is disheveled, and his clothes look slept in. He goes to open his mouth, but I don’t let him get a word in.
My stomach roils with nausea, and bile burns a canal up my throat. “Is it true, Hayes? Was this all started because you needed a fake relationship?”
Please don’t let it be true. Please.
“Aeris, please. Let me explain.” He reaches out to touch me, but my body rejects the thought, and I put a good amount of distance between us. I can’t believe I let him in. I can’t believe I let him have the most vulnerable parts of me.
Oh my God. I can’t even look at him right now.
He lied to me. Our whole relationship has been a lie. He’s been stringing me along, and I’ve been stupid enough to fall for every sweetened sentiment he’s told me. And he continued to lie to me, to disrespect me, after I told him I didn’t want there to be any secrets between us.
My eyes spurn him, and my lips flare over my teeth. “You’ve had weeks to explain it to me. I’ve given you chance after chance to come clean, but you never did. And that speaks volumes about who you truly are.”
His expression is barren of the amicability I’ve grown to love. “I didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter to me anymore! My feelings for you have been real since the night of our first date.”
“How am I supposed to believe you?”
“How can I prove it to you, Aeris? Please don’t shut me out.”
Indignation wages a war in my mind, forging my voice into a weapon. “I don’t need anything from you anymore. In fact, lose my number, and never contact me ever again,” I hiss, doing my best to ignore the feeling of my heart breaking in two.
The gray clouds hanging over our heads harshen, marked by the trickle of opal droplets onto the slate ground. Dread shrouds me, as does the hailing rain. My hair is soaked just after a few minutes of standing in the tenebrous storm. The trees begin to sway violently from the ruthless wind, so much so that pendulous branches threaten to break free. Thunder howls in the distance, and the periodic sparks of lightning feel too close for my liking.
“You’re not even going to give me a chance to explain?” he exclaims, not caring to wipe away the frigid water buffering down his face.
It feels like my chest has been skewered by a human-sized meat hook, baring all my bleeding parts for the entire universe to see. “No, Hayes. Because if I let you explain, I’ll want to forgive you, and what you’ve done is unforgivable.”
I turn to walk away, but he prohibits me from passing.
“I was a fucking idiot. I don’t expect you to forgive me. Hell, I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I’d kick myself if I didn’t try to fight for you—for us.” There’s no anger in his tone, and a part of me wishes he was flying off the handle right now. It’d make being mad at him a helluva lot easier.
“There shouldn’t have been an us, Hayes. This whole ‘relationship’ was built on some stupid ruse to better your reputation.” Red-hot rage cinches my heart like a thermocut wire.
I let my guard down, even after being hurt multiple times in the past. I knew better, yet I was so blinded by the possibility of a life I never thought I could have that it came back to bite me in the ass. And now I’m paying for it—every insufferable second.
And the worst part of it all? I had my doubts. I had my doubts, and I didn’t listen to them.
“Yes, in the beginning, I was looking for a fake relationship. No, I didn’t expect to fall in love with anyone. But I knew after our first date that I wanted to give this thing a chance. A real chance,” he yells over the rain, the torrential downpour sticking his hair to his forehead and soaking through his shirt.
“Why didn’t you tell me then? I would’ve understood.”
“I wanted to, but the guys said…”
There’s a lick of animosity in my eyes. “Oh, I know you’re not blaming this on your teammates,” I snarl.
A frown scurries onto his lips, and he shakes his head. “Shit. No. That came out wrong. I should’ve been honest with you. You didn’t deserve any of this. Please know that I’d take everything back in a heartbeat.”
My tears begin to fall steadily now, and it’s the first time Hayes doesn’t reach out to wipe them away. God, as much as I hate him right now, I can’t get the memories to stop charging through me. When we first danced together, when he said those things about my body, when he told me he loved me for the first time. I want the pain to go away. I want to forget everything.