She let herself nestle into the warmth of his body. He smelled like belonging—something she hadn’t felt since… ever. Anywhere.
Mikael stirred, wrapping his arms tighter around her and pulling her close. “I didn’t expect myself so lucky as to wake up next to you,” he said.
“I didn’t expect it either,” she admitted. “When did you wake?”
“The middle of the night.”
She pushed herself up abruptly. He’d been awake since the middle of the night?
“I didn’t want to wake you. I didn’t want…” His eyes were bright. “I didn’t want to leave.”
Her stomach fluttered. “I wouldn’t have made you leave.”
He smiled as he brushed a lock of her hair back over her shoulder and drew his fingers over her cheek. “But it’s morning now, and I have to go for a few days to settle trade with some of the Horsemen tribes. When I return, I’d like to… talk more. Spend more time together.”
“I’d like that.” She needed that.
“The lord commander will be coming with me,” he told her. “So he won’t be a bother to you.”
There was no hiding her relief. “I’m glad to hear.”
“Salara, I know he’s a hard man to understand. But I hope you can come to. Eventually.”
She understood the commander perfectly.
He cupped her face in his hand. “I trust him above all others. He knows you’re important to me, and he’s loyal. I know you don’t believe this, but he’ll be loyal to you as well.”
He was right—she didn’t believe that. “I’ll keep busy while you’re gone,” she said, changing the topic from the commander.
He smiled. Then his brow creased faintly.
“What?”
“I have something for you,” he said. “Come with me.”
He pulled her up from the settee and led her out of the sanctuary toward the back of the castle.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“A place I think you’ll like.” He took her through several halls, outside the back of the castle, waving the Crest guard to stay inside. She couldn’t help the flutter of excitement in her stomach. She let him lead her, hand in hand, down a small embankment and toward a stone building. Mikael pushed open the carved wooden door and led her inside, and Norah’s breath caught in her chest.
It wasn’t a simple stone building. Once through the door, the room opened into a garden conservatory. The morning sun spilled through the wall of windows on the opposite side, kissing the greenery that filled it.
In awe, Norah clasped her hands together, walking slowly into the center of the conservatory. “What is this place?” she whispered.
“My grandmother was from Japheth. But when she came to Kharav, she was overcome with the longing sickness. My grandfather built this for her.”
“The longing sickness?”
“The sickness in wanting for one’s home,” he answered. “We were at war back then. She couldn’t return. My grandfather built this place to house the green of Japheth’s Colored Valley. He and a few of his best soldiers snuck into Japheth and stole greens from the royal gardens to bring here.”
“That’s incredible,” she breathed.
“Yes, it is.” He gave a small smile.
“Did it take the longing sickness away?” she asked.
“Probably not entirely, but she had a great love for it, and she was happy.”
Norah breathed in deeply, closing her eyes and letting the scents and light take her away.
“Do you have the longing sickness?” he asked softly.
She missed Mercia, but longing? It wasn’t that deep. Norah’s stomach knotted, and guilt tugged at her heart. She still hadn’t told him she’d lost her memories. She hadn’t told him when he’d asked her where she had been the years she was gone. And he hadn’t pressed her more. Perhaps he felt she didn’t want to tell him.
“I can’t bring you the North—its cliffs, its rocks, its winter,” he said as he plucked a flower from the small bush beside her and stepped closer, “but this place isn’t Kharav.” He held the flower out for her. “And perhaps you might look to come here instead of your sanctuary. Here, where I would be able to visit you.”
Norah felt a wave of emotion at his tenderness. She took the blossom from his hand and breathed in its sweet fragrance. “It’s beautiful,” she said.
He smiled. “So are you.”
“Mikael, there’s something I need to tell you.” She spun the small flower between her fingers. “You once asked me where I’d been those years that I was gone from Mercia.”
He stood quietly, waiting.
“The truth is, I don’t know. My memories were taken in the time I was lost. I, um… I’m still trying to figure out who I am.”
His brow dipped, and his lips parted. But he didn’t speak.
The words just tumbled out of her. “I don’t know what happened. The only thing I remember is waking in the Wild. By some miracle I was found, but then I became queen of Mercia, betrothed to King Phillip, and was expected to war against an enemy—you—all of whom I didn’t know.”
He remained silent, and her pulse quickened. She should have told him sooner. She wanted to make this marriage work—not just the marriage, but whatever it was that was growing between them—and she didn’t want secrets.
“Everyone expected all these things from me. There are expectations still.” She took a breath. “But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want. I’m just trying to figure things out as I go. And all I have is how I feel.”
He only stared at her, and she shrunk inside, silently begging him to say something.
Anything.
He let out a long breath and took her hand. Her heart beat faster.
“Maybe that’s all you need,” he said finally, and gave a small smile. “Salara, the woman I see knows exactly who she is and what she wants.”
His words surprised her. “You’re not upset I didn’t tell you?”
Mikael shook his head. “I’m realizing my luck. If you hadn’t lost your memories, I seriously doubt you would have wed me.”
The realization hit her that he might be right. “All this time, I thought it was a curse. But now, I wonder if it’s been a blessing, to help me see past emotions that would’ve otherwise clouded my judgment.” She raised her eyes to his. “I don’t want secrets between us. Not when I feel for you the way I do now.”
He pulled her closer as he reached up and brushed her face, gazing down at her. “And how is it you feel?” he asked.
Norah swallowed. Why couldn’t she say it?
“I hope it’s the same as I feel for you,” he said softly.
“You can kiss me now,” she whispered.
He smiled and brought his lips to hers.
The sun cast a deceptive warmth through the windows as Soren walked through the side hall of the castle, toward the king’s chamber. He’d expected Mikael at daybreak at the stable. They were to ride to the smaller Horsemen tribes of the Shoen to renew their agreements, but Mikael hadn’t come.