“How much is there?” she managed to get out. “How long do we have?” How long did she have?
“Not long. But don’t worry yourself about the numbers. We’ll see to that. We need your attentions on Aleon, for King Phillip can provide what Mercia needs.” He wanted her to focus on the marriage, not the issue. Anger sprouted in the depths of her mind and spread through her veins.
“Time is of the essence,” he pressed. “You must think of our people.” Of course she needed to think of the people. But was a marriage the only solution? She needed to think—and it was impossible under his guilting stare, under the pressure.
Her anger thickened, and her words came before she could stop them. “I won’t be hasty to make a permanent solution for a temporary problem.”
The councilmen shifted in their chairs, clearly unsettled by her response.
“Hasty?” Edward scoffed. “This is perhaps the longest anticipated marriage in the history of mankind. And it’s not merely for today’s problems. With this alliance comes the great army of Aleon, which we’ll need to stand against the Shadow King.”
She’d not forgotten. All eyes were on her, but no words would come. She had no rebuttal for these points, no defense. And it was impossible to think under Edward’s smug gaze.
“Queen Norah knows what’s necessary,” James said, breaking the silence. “She’ll fulfill her duty. We’ll leave it to her and Lady Catherine to decide on a date.”
James’s response was certainly more diplomatic than the words forming in her head.
“That’s enough for today, councilmen,” James added.
But Norah stopped them. “There is one more thing,” she said, glancing around the table. Her anger fueled her; her fear was gone. “From now on, any letters addressed to me will come directly to me.”
Edward’s eyes darkened, but he bowed. “Of course, Regal High.”
The councilmen all bowed before shuffling out of the judisaept. James lingered as the room emptied.
“Thank you, James,” she said when they’d gone.
He nodded. “I know this was a difficult meeting for you. But, Norah”—he paused until her eyes met his—“you will choose a date, and you’ll seal our alliance with Aleon.”
Her stomach twisted. Whatever hope she had of a different solution was quickly fading. James gave her a stiff nod before following the rest of the council out. Norah turned her gaze to Catherine, whose green eyes were aflame. Norah knew Catherine was angry about revealing her memory loss, but she couldn’t deal with it. Not right now.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she said shortly.
Catherine’s face was cold as stone. “Then I won’t burden you.” She strode from the judisaept, leaving Norah alone in the emptiness of the room.
She put her hands on the edge of the table and rested her weight forward. Her legs didn’t feel like they’d hold her, but she couldn’t sit down again. She couldn’t argue with the situation, or even with the resolution. A marriage—it was very logical. It was just… sudden. And suffocating. The air in the room was heavy. She drew in a breath but couldn’t breathe.
Norah turned and left the judisaept in a haze. Everything was getting away from her. She had no control, no choice. She felt like a… girl… a child. Her guard picked up behind her as she walked. She glanced back. It was Titus. She couldn’t think with the sound of his steps in her ears. “Hammel’s hell! Can you just stop following me for a moment!” she snapped.
He frowned. “I can’t leave you, Regal High.”
“Stop calling me that!”
“Titus,” Alexander’s voice called from behind them. “I’ll see her back.”
The guard gave a nod and left them in the empty hall.
Norah stood for a moment with Alexander. His presence brought a calm she so desperately needed, dissipating her anger, but the anger had been the only thing holding her emotion back. She bit into her bottom lip, trying to keep the tears at bay.
Alexander ambled forward, prompting her into a walk beside him. He didn’t speak, only walked, and the silence was settling.
“They don’t really see me as a queen, do they?” she asked finally. “Alastair challenged who I am, but it hardly seems to matter at all, so long as I wear the crown and marry. That’s all they care about. I could be anyone, as long as I look the part and do what they say.”
“But you aren’t just anyone,” he replied. His voice came softer. “Norah, this has been the plan for the past ten years. Mercia needs the alliance with Aleon. Of course they would be eager for it, now that you’ve returned.”
Norah frowned. “So I should just marry?”
“That’s not what I said.”
She stopped, looking up at him. “What are you saying, then?”
His lips parted, but no words came.
“Would you have me do this?” she asked. “Would you have me wed King Phillip?”
The line of his jaw tightened. “There’s been a lot said today. Put it from your mind for a while. When the emotion is gone, you’ll be able to think more clearly.”
“There’s nothing I can do to put this from my mind.”
Alexander’s brow twitched, as though he’d had a thought.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I have an idea. Come on.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“I promise it’s not a tomb.”
Chapter eighteen
Norah raised a doubtful brow. “We’re going in there?”
Alexander stood at the mouth of a cave that trailed deep into the darkness from the icy mountainside. She had followed him outside the castle, pulling her cloak over her face and tucking her hair inside to slip by undetected. He’d led her to the cliffs and to a small cleft large enough for them to step down into one at a time. Along the narrow walk they went, looking out over the sea of ice, and then carefully sidled along a ledge to where they stood now.
“A cave?” she asked.
“I’d normally allow a lady first as a gentlemanly courtesy, but you should follow me.”
“Gladly,” she said, waving him ahead. She followed him into the cave, and the light faded as they made their way deeper. A small rush of excitement ran through her.
Alexander paused, turning to her and holding out his hand. “It’s going to get dark. Very dark. Just hold on to me, and I’ll lead you. You needn’t be afraid.”
She had a number of feelings at the moment, but fear was not one of them. She smiled as she took his hand. They made their way farther into the cave, and it wasn’t long before Norah couldn’t see anything at all. “I didn’t expect this today,” she told him.
“I admit it’s highly unconventional and certainly not endorsed by your grandmother. In fact, I’d appreciate if you would overlook it when next speaking to her.”
She grinned into the darkness. “My lips are sealed.”
They walked slowly, with Alexander giving her hand small reassuring squeezes as they went.
“How much farther?” she asked.
“Still a ways yet.”
Her curiosity grew. “What’s back here?”