“I’ve laid eyes on him myself, as have you. He really does look this way.”
She bit the side of her cheek. “Do you think he’d shave his face if I asked him to?”
“By the gods, Norah.”
She shrugged with a frown.
“You should wear the necklace today.”
Norah shifted, drawing her brows together. “I… don’t think it will match.” She looked at the small portraiture again and put her finger over his mustache. He had kind eyes. But she wouldn’t wear his necklace.
“Norah, you haven’t even chosen a dress yet.”
“I have, in my mind. It doesn’t match.”
Catherine snapped closed the necklace box. “You are impossible sometimes.” She sighed. “Get ready. I want you to attend worship with me today at the temple. It will be good for the people to see a pious queen. And it will do you some good to get out.”
Norah felt quite the opposite, but she knew her grandmother was trying to give her something else to think about, and she smiled appreciatively as she went to decide on a dress.
Norah smiled as she and Catherine arrived at the temple and were heartily greeted by those walking in. She wasn’t particularly interested in attending, but Catherine was right—it felt good to be out.
The temple was larger than Norah had expected, and as they entered, she noticed the rows of cushions on the floor, for kneeling. Her eyes caught the priest at the front, who motioned her forward, and she made her way toward him.
“Yes, yes, all the way forward,” Catherine whispered behind her.
The priest smiled with a nod, motioning to the first row on the left, but as Norah looked around, she stopped. To her right, across the walkway, was Alexander, looking back at her. She was about to smile at him, but just as quickly, she saw Ismene, who had taken her place on the cushion beside him. Ismene gave a bow of her head, and Norah returned the nod, swallowing back her sudden swell of jealousy.
“Kneel on the cushion,” her grandmother whispered from behind.
Norah turned her attention forward and found the cushion, dropping to her knees and sitting back on her heels. Catherine lowered herself beside her with a hand from the priest.
With everyone in attendance, the priest raised his arms, beginning the prayer. Norah couldn’t rid herself of the fire building inside her. Alexander had said her grandmother committed his attendance.
She set this up.
Norah’s cheeks burned with anger: at her grandmother’s manipulation, at Ismene. She couldn’t help herself and swept her eyes to where Alexander sat. A jolt ran through her as their stares locked. She tried to pull away, having been caught, but his gaze held her. It cupped her breath in her chest and seeded warmth across her skin. Her anger dissipated.
“Norah.” Catherine’s harsh whisper filled her ears, bringing her eyes forward again.
The morning wasn’t as long as she had expected, and she found herself fueled by the silent exchanges with Alexander during the priest’s prayer. As the worship ended, an older woman called Catherine’s attention, and Norah rose with a start, seeing her chance.
Alexander was one step ahead of her, meeting her with a slight curve of his lips. “Queen Norah,” he said.
“Lord Justice. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
“Nor I, you, but—”
“Queen Norah,” Ismene greeted as she approached them.
A flash of fire ran through her, but Norah forced a smile. “Lady Ismene, so good to see you again.” The words were stiff on her lips, but she hoped they hadn’t sounded so.
“And you, Regal High,” the young woman said with a curtsy.
“I should be off,” Norah said, looking for an opportunity to escape.
Her eyes locked with Alexander’s again. His face was solemn, almost apologetic. Was he apologetic?
Alexander bowed, and she gave a nod in return before leaving them and making her way outside. She shouldn’t have come.
She became all too aware of Catherine beside her as she walked. Norah glared at her grandmother. “Must you be so obvious?” she snapped, not bothering to disguise her irritation.
Catherine looked straight ahead, unbothered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. And you’ve no concept of obvious.”
Norah gave her a scowl and walked faster, stalking back toward the castle.
Chapter twenty
Norah sat on a branch of the white oak tree as the sun set and the air turned colder with the fading light. It was an old tree with low boughs, one of the few trees on the rocky isle, and it sat thick and sprawling like a giant hand rising from the earth.
She fought the jealousy she knew she had no right to feel. Alexander was not hers, but she couldn’t help the possessiveness clawing inside her. She bit her lip in broken concentration as she threaded the thin strands of leather through several tiny shells she’d found among the rocks. Her morning guard, Liaman, had shown her where to find them. He had told her that in summer the water came higher and teemed with life around the castle, then left the shells as it receded. Now they could be found in the crags underneath the snow. She tested the length around her wrist and added a few more.
Norah glanced up to see Alexander approaching. He waved off her guard, who left them and headed back toward the castle.
Alexander leaned against the tree, watching quietly as she finished the bracelet. She waited until she tied her knot before she looked up and forced a smile.
“Are you unhappy with me?” he asked.
She took in a breath and let it out slowly, then shook her head. “No,” she said. Not with him.
“But you are unhappy?”
She looked out across the reach of the isle to the setting sun. She was unhappy, but she didn’t have the right to be, at least not where Alexander was concerned. And she certainly couldn’t share that with him.
“Here, let me see your hand,” she said, changing the subject.
He held out his wrist for her. His skin was warm against her fingers as she tied the bracelet in place.
“There. Now you’ll see it and think of me.” As soon as she spoke the words, she regretted them. They sounded too possessive.
His eyes met hers. “I don’t need a reminder for that,” he said softly.
Norah’s heart wavered in her chest. She might not have the memories, but there was no mistaking that there had been something between them. Something forgotten, but still there. Something buried far beneath the surface.
The words came out before she could stop herself. “Were we lovers?”
Her question sobered him, and he stepped back. She feared his answer but was desperate for it all the same.
Burden hung from his brow as the words sat silent on his tongue. “Our fathers never would have allowed us to be together,” he said finally.
“That’s not what I asked.” She wondered if his heart was beating as heavily as hers.
“I would never dishonor you, Norah.”
Her question remained unanswered, and it hung in the air.
“We should get back,” he said, a formality returning. “Your grandmother will be wondering where you are.”
But she didn’t want to leave.
He offered his hand, and she took it, but as she slipped down from the tree, she stumbled, falling back against the trunk and pulling Alexander with her. He caught his balance on the bough and hooked his arm around her, steadying her. The closeness stilled them. A tremor ran through her, and Norah gasped as an image flashed in her mind. It was an old image, a memory.