“Yes. I will call or text you later. Go! Rightfuckingnow. I mean it,” Kasey said. She pointed and he moved toward the door. She was right behind him. “Wait…you’re not going to say anything to anyone about any of this, right? Not what I told you, not the kissing—nothing. Silas, please don’t.”
“Are you serious? Hell, Kase—”
“Just say you won’t, then leave.”
“You know I won’t. Why do you keep—”
“Okay. Thank you. Bye.”
She opened the door and Silas let her push him onto the porch. He turned and put both hands on the doorframe.
“Remember how I used to call you Dandelion? Kase, I love you. I’m in love with you. Look, if you decide not to put that ring back on, that’s something you should know,” he said. In a small, almost imperceptible movement, he leaned in. She noticed. She noticed everything about him. She’d never be able to forget any of this.
“Silas, go! Of course I remember that! Now, leave before we mess everything up.”
She needed to talk to Devon; she loved Devon. She needed to put her engagement ring on and call him. I love Devon. Yes, she’d love Silas forever, but Devon was her fiancé and she loved him. She loved him!
Kasey put her hand on Silas’s chest and gently pushed.
“All right. I’m leaving. I love you and I’m leaving,” he said.
Kasey watched him drive away and closed the door. She put her back against the wood and touched her cheek, feeling like she was in a movie. She went to the bedroom and slipped her engagement ring on. She poured herself another glass of whiskey and called Devon, but he didn’t answer. She tried again. And again. She had to talk to him. Her body ached with the overwhelming need of it.
When Silas knocked on the door, she snatched it open, ready to yell at him.
But it wasn’t Silas.
It was Devon.
There was a little white hatchback in her driveway. Would the porch crack and swallow her up? Had she summoned him with wishes? Devon and his soft eyes, looking tired and handsome, shaking his head at her?
“Kasey, you gotta tell me what the hell is going on,” he said. He took her face in his hands and kissed her with apocalyptic ardor. Like she was the last woman left on earth. Like he’d been shipwrecked for weeks and there she was, shining on the shore.
2016
43
After being set up on a blind date by his sister, Kasey and Devon hit it off quickly. He was droll and kind, charming in a seemingly effortless way. Kasey liked a lot of small things about him immediately. Like how he said her name and the way he held his fork. He had an easy presence about him, the same way Silas did. Kasey tried to imagine a woman breaking up with Devon and not looking at him on a regular basis like this anymore, deciding she was done with how good he looked in that suit and how pretty his hair was or how much emotion he could convey with his wide eyes. Kasey tried to imagine it but couldn’t. She found him quite lovely.
Once she mentioned she was from a small, Southern town, he asked her a lot of cute questions about Goldie. Whether everyone knew everyone （seemed like it, yes） and whether they had festivals all the time （yes） and if she liked living there （sometimes）。 He was from Long Island and hadn’t spent much time in the South, but he told her that he always romanticized it and said he considered her romantic by default since she was from a town called Goldie because of how the sun lit it up.
Kasey loved how he shared things about himself but didn’t hog the conversation like some of the other men she’d dated. She told him that he was really good at this. This being a first date, this being drinks, this being a man in this world who was obviously handsome and successful and smart but who also didn’t seem to think the sun rose and set on his watch either.
“Honestly? This is by far the best first date I’ve ever been on,” Devon had said as they were leaving the bar.
“Honestly? Same,” Kasey said.
They kissed on her stoop at the end of the night. Kasey had been wanting to do it since the moment his sister showed her the picture. His mouth was dark beer and peppermint. It was two in the morning, and she was exhausted but all lit up with excitement for this newness, and Devon’s shirt smelled so good—like some sort of ridiculously expensive cologne, but only faintly, as if he’d simply walked past someone who whispered the name of it. She was debating between saying goodbye and inviting him inside when her phone vibrated. Kasey checked it immediately since it was so late.
It was Rosemarie.
Are you awake?? Can you call me
ASAP? Please?
Yes. Just a sec.
“I’m sorry. It’s my best friend and I need to call her right now. You can, um…you know what? Just come up,” Kasey said, motioning for Devon to follow her. She was a smidge drunk and trusted that he wouldn’t murder her, confident that Honora certainly wouldn’t have set her up with her brother if he were a murderer. Right? Right.
Once they were inside her apartment, Kasey put Devon on the couch with a glass of water and the remote in case he wanted to watch something. Quickly, she showed him how to turn it on and flip through. He was easygoing and content, leaving his shoes by the door and settling in, making himself at home. She excused herself to the bedroom and called Rosemarie.
“Hey—”
“Kase, I have breast cancer. It’s treatable but I have to get surgery and chemo and I know I’m telling you at two in the morning. I’m sorry…I didn’t forget about the fact that you’re three hours ahead of me, but I wanted you to know. I’m weirdly okay right now…although I know I won’t always be. Esme’s brother is my oncologist and she’s with me. My parents are on the way here,” Rosemarie said.
The room spun; Kasey had to sit to stop it.
“Roses, I’m coming too,” she said as soon as she could string the words together through the thick cloud in her head.
“Okay,” Rosemarie said.
After she got more details and told her how much she loved her, Kasey went to the couch and blurted everything out to Devon, who leaned forward and got such a sad look on his face Kasey started crying and couldn’t stop. He opened his arms and she curled into his lap. He held her there, listening and telling her everything was going to be all right. Kasey was a wreck, but she forced herself to think of things that were fixed and true. She had to.
Rosemarie will be okay. We can get through this. We’ll do anything for each other. We can get through this. We can get through anything.
We can get through anything.
She cried herself to sleep on Devon’s shoulder, and when she woke up in the morning, he was still asleep in his suit underneath her. He hadn’t budged.
2019
44
Joanna Castelow
Officer Neil: Mrs. Castelow, what was it you wanted to discuss?
Joanna Castelow: Just doing my part when it comes to the Trey Foxberry murder investigation if it helps.
ON: It’s a death investigation.
JC: Right. Death investigation. My sons told me Trey couldn’t swim, which I always thought was the oddest thing since they live so close to the lake. I mean, not on the lake like we do, but I don’t think I know anyone in this town who can’t swim. Makes no sense.
ON: Someone said he liked being on the water, like fishing and boats, but never cared for being in it. He might’ve had a cousin who drowned when he was a kid? I don’t know. Everyone reacts differently to those sorts of things.