2017
49
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected],
Subject: Over Noodles
Hello you beauties!
So y’all already know Esme and I met at the dog park right after I adopted Willie to give him a little love in the last year or so of his life. I couldn’t imagine a break from traveling and feeding people for the nonprofit and being in Seattle for more than a year without the comfort of a dog. Even when I was in Costa Rica after high school, Leopold and I found a puppy and fed and loved it while we were there. And in Paris, Mélanie and I “adopted” a long-haired chihuahua we brought in from the rain sometimes and fed it French dog treats made of honey and coconuts.
The first time I ever saw Esme cry was when Willie died.
After the cancer and everything, I told Esme that Leo used to be my boyfriend and that we were friends now, but I didn’t tell her that when I went to visit Leo in Boston later that year after he divorced Annie that we had sex. A lot of sex. I didn’t tell her that I hadn’t been able to be around Leo （outside of his marriage to Annie） without having sex with him.
Y’all…I know he may not look like it because he’s always like, holding an instrument or talking on and on about something he’s read, but Leo is VERY good at like…giving himself over completely to my pleasure. He always has been! Reconnecting with him after Annie felt a lot like I was reclaiming him and his body. Like, sure it was Annie’s cock for a minute, but like, now it’s mine again and I’ve only had one before…but I love it. I love Leo’s. So, yeah.
Last night we went out for noodles and I DID finally tell Esme I was aggressively bisexual, but basically only when it came to Leo. I told her everything about us and him and that we’d always be more than friends and how it was weird fate that they didn’t meet when Leo was in town when I was first diagnosed. I would’ve been honest with her about this way sooner and I wanted to, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings! I made it worse by not telling her. That’s on me.
Point is, she cried again the same way she cried when Willie died. Esme’s not a casual crier. I think we’ll be fine? I’ll never choose between them? Esme’s never been with a man, never been interested. She doesn’t care about them and I love that about her. I clearly don’t care about any men （romantically） but Leo. I’ve never （really） bothered trying.
I love Esme so much and want to be with her forever. I love Leo so much and we’ll be what we are to each other forever too.
I’m attaching a pic of Esme in her black overalls because she’s so beautiful in her black overalls. Her hair is longer now and I bought her those earrings when we went to Portland for the weekend last month. And! She finally got the green light for her new film !!!
I LOVE YOU AND NOW I’VE TOLD YOU MY LATEST STORY SO TELL ME YOURS.
Also, my last scan was clear! I guess I could’ve started the email with that, right? Ada, don’t be mad at me! :P
RACK FOREVER.
Roses
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected],
Subject: Re: Over Noodles
Oh Roses, YAY A CLEAR SCAN!!!
Esme looks so pretty in this picture!
I’m glad you told her your Leo feelings. I also remember you reenacting the first time you saw Leo completely naked when we were in high school. THE GASP!!
I know you know Leo’s back in Goldie for the week! After the show in Nashville yesterday, he crashed at our place for the night and he got up and made pancakes for Samuel and me this morning. He talks about you all the time. He played part of a song he said y’all have been working on long-distance together for like, five years. I loved it. I want to hear the rest!
Samuel is considering the job in Amsterdam and I told him he should take it. I don’t want him staying in Goldie for me. I love him and we’ll see…but I don’t know. I’ll talk more about it when I know what to say.
One more thing: guess who came into the bakery the other day and PLEASE don’t kill me but he looked （a little?） cute and I hated myself for thinking it.
Do you know who I’m gonna say?
Shit. Y’all are never gonna let me live this down but…
Trey.
Trey Foxberry.
I’m signing off right now so I don’t embarrass myself anymore.
RACK FOREVER.
Caroppenheimer
2019
50
Myrtle Childress
Officer Castelow: Hi there, Miss Myrtle, how are you?
Myrtle Childress: Hi, Silas. I’m better now that Caro is back home, but poor Rosemarie…well, of course you know…
OC: Yeah…everyone’s surrounding Rosemarie with a lot of love, and she’s easy to love anyway. Seems like everyone in Goldie believes in miracles, don’t we? We’ll never stop believing in miracles. And Caro…well, I’m glad she’s back home too.
MC: Caro’s the reason I came down here to agree with what everyone else said on the record.
OC: All right…understood.
MC: Y’know, I always hoped Beau would move back to Goldie one day and sweep her off her feet and marry her. Remember how they were at the diner together? I knew then they were a perfect match, and now Beau’s back in town…so maybe when she’s healed up, something’ll happen.
OC: It’s really nice for him to come back to Goldie for her.
MC: Isn’t it? Did you have some of the pie I brought? It’s peach. I left it in the break room for y’all.
OC: I smelled it in there, but I haven’t had a piece yet. Thank you, Miss Myrtle.
*
Miriam “Mimi” Harper
Officer Castelow: Hi, Miss Mimi. Myrtle left not five minutes ago. Did you see her?
Miriam Harper: Oh yes, she’s waiting out there for me right now. She brought a peach pie and I brought apple for you. I know you like apple.
OC: I do love apple pie, Miss Mimi. Thank you.
MH: I know this is a murder investigation now, but that’s nonsense. Y’all don’t really think somebody killed Trey, do y’all, Silas?
OC: Miss Mimi, I—
MH: Trey died because God don’t like ugly. Nobody killed him.
OC: That just might be true.
MH: Everything Caro said about what Trey Foxberry did to her is true too. I grew up with a daddy like Trey. Did you know that?
OC: No, ma’am.
MH: One night my mama poured a pot of boiling water on him. Can you understand why a woman would snap and do something like that?
OC: I sure can.
MH: Right. Because she came down here to this police station when Trey’s great-uncle was chief, and she told him everything my daddy was doing to us, terrorizing us in our own home, and do you know what Trey’s great-uncle did?
OC: No, ma’am.
MH: Trey’s great-uncle went right over to the mill where my daddy was working, and he told my daddy exactly what my mama had told him, and my daddy went home and beat my mama up so bad she lost the baby she was pregnant with.
My little brother. That’s why I’m an only child, Silas…because the police didn’t help us. The men on the police force knew exactly what was happening, but they didn’t do a thing about it, and I protected Caroline from all that. She doesn’t know that happened. Maybe I should’ve told her. Maybe it would’ve helped her out. I wanted to trust her when she told me Trey was a good man. I wanted to trust that there was something underneath that I couldn’t see…I wanted to believe her so bad I guess I fooled myself. But Lord have mercy, I wish somebody would’ve killed my daddy instead of my mama having to try to do it on her own. She wasn’t the same after all that. My daddy obviously wasn’t either. He never put his hands on her or me again. He drank himself to death the year before she died, and he never told nobody what my mama did to him. He lied and said he’d had an accident himself because he knew he deserved it for everything he’d done.