As I drove back to Hawthorn Vineyard, a memory suddenly came into my mind. When I was seven or eight, I’d found my gram’s collection of catalogues and old magazines. One of them had bridal gowns in it so I’d cut out all my choices for an entire wedding party and glued them to a piece of cardboard. I’d spent hours going through each book, picking out flowers and cakes and whatever else I could find that added to my vision. When I’d proudly shown my gram, she had gushed over it, of course, as my gram tended to do, but then she’d asked me why there was no father of the bride. “Oh,” I’d said, “he was working. He couldn’t make it.” My gram had looked at me so sadly and then hugged me tightly. “You are going to be the most beautiful bride, my love,” she’d said, “and your groom is going to love you to pieces.”
I felt a lump form in my chest. “Oh, Gram, I’m so sorry about this,” I whispered into the silence of my car, feeling like even though she was gone, I was somehow disappointing her.
Just as I was finishing getting dressed, I heard a soft knock on my cottage door and startled slightly, wondering if Grayson had come to get me rather than meeting at the house where we’d planned. Or maybe he was coming to call it off? My heart took up an erratic beat as I called, “Come in.”
A moment later I heard Charlotte’s singsong greeting and I relaxed my shoulders. She smiled as she entered my room. “Oh my, you look lovely, dear.”
I gave her a small smile, fidgeting slightly. I hardly wanted her to make this seem as if it were in any way a real wedding day. It would only add to my shame.
“I brought you a little something for good luck,” she said, holding open her palm to show a small silver and crystal pin in the shape of a rose.
“Oh, no, Charlotte. I couldn’t. This marriage doesn’t require any luck. We already set it up to fail,” I said, my cheeks heating.
“Well, then, it’s good luck for you,” she said. “Please, let me. My mother gave this to me on my wedding day and I don’t have a daughter to give it to, nor will I have any granddaughters. It would mean the world to me if you would accept it.”
“I really couldn’t,” I squeaked, trying not to tear up.
“How about just for today?” She smiled hopefully. “You can give it back if you want.” She clapped her hands. “Oh, that works too. Something borrowed.”
I let out a breath. “Okay. Only if you’ll let me return it.”
“Here,” she said, leaning in and pinning it to the bodice of my dress. She leaned away and smiled gently. “Lovely.”
Not able to help it, I threw my arms around Charlotte, inhaling the calming scent of talcum powder. She laughed softly and hugged me back. “Now then,” she said gently.
At two o’clock I walked up to the main house where Grayson was leaning casually against the stone front. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a blue button-down shirt. I tried not to note how strikingly handsome he was—it served no good purpose. When he heard me approaching, he looked up and I caught a brief flicker of surprise in his eyes, and then it was gone.
“Ready?” he said simply, making no comment about how I looked.
Neither of us spoke for the first five minutes of the ride in his truck. I finally turned to him and his gaze was on my bare legs. I crossed them and his eyes flew to mine. He clenched his jaw. Did he disapprove of my outfit for some reason?
“Grayson, I’m…I’m sorry about your father’s bottle of wine.”
His shoulders seemed to release just a bit as he stared out the front windshield. “It wasn’t entirely your fault. You couldn’t have known that such a valuable bottle of wine would be sitting in the living room. And I did push you to that point, I admit. I’m not innocent for teasing you about your…list. I’m sorry too.”
I exhaled even as I felt my cheeks flush at the mention of my list. “We’re even, then?”
He gave me a slight smile. “Even. Especially considering you’re paying me back for it today.” He turned his face to me and gave me a devilish smile that made my heart stutter in my chest. But then it gentled and I saw he was making a joke. “Ready to pledge forever? Or at least twelve months?” he asked, eyeing me sideways.
I gave a nervous laugh. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I figure. This isn’t exactly how I pictured my wedding day.”
“No? Pictured the big white dress and all the crème de la crème of society in attendance?” His eyes lingered on me for a second.
It was true. When I’d been engaged to Cooper, that had been what I’d envisioned for my wedding, mostly because that was what my father and Cooper had planned. But that had never been my dream. I had just been trying so hard to please them both.
I smiled, but it felt sad on my own lips. “I suppose.” I wasn’t going to go into all that with Grayson, especially not right now. His eyes searched my face for a few quick moments, but then he focused back on the road.
The mood between us was still slightly tense after that and neither of us spoke, each preoccupied with our own thoughts. Although Grayson had said I was forgiven about the wine, he still seemed a little tense, if the tick in his jaw each time he looked at me was any indication. Ah well, after today, we’d avoid each other. I’d offered my apologies and he’d accepted. If he still harbored a general hostility, it made no difference to me whatsoever. I bit down on my lip until it hurt, trying to distract myself from any thought at all. I didn’t want to consider what I was really doing.
When we arrived at the Napa County Clerk’s Office a few minutes later, the sky suddenly opened up and started pouring rain. Grayson chuckled. “The fates are against us.”
I gave a small laugh too. “Apparently. Although I’ve heard that rain is good luck on a wedding day.”
“Only people who get rain on their wedding day say that to make themselves feel lucky. We’re going to have to make a run for it.”
“Okay. On the count of three,” I said, cracking the truck door. We both jumped out, me squealing as we ran for the building. He grabbed my hand halfway between the car and the office, and his deep laughter rose above the pounding sound of the downpour. For a blink of time, we were just a boy and a girl, running and laughing in the rain on our wedding day. The moment was sudden, dreamlike, but when we burst into the lobby, we both blinked at each other and I knew he’d felt it too. The spell ended abruptly as we looked around at people now watching us. There were two other couples obviously there to get married, both holding hands, both looking serene, both looking like it was the happiest day of their lives. It made me intensely aware of what we were about to do. By the look on Grayson’s face, he was thinking the same thing.
“Ready?” he asked.
No, no, no. “Yes.”
I walked through the next hour as if I existed outside my own body. I tried not to consider the reality of the situation. I pictured the faces of the people at the drop-in center, the small house I’d get settled in once I left Hawthorn Vineyard, anything to keep my focus on what this day was ultimately about. We obtained the marriage license and waited in line to say our vows. Grayson’s expression was distant and slightly cold. I didn’t ask what he was thinking though. My own emotions were difficult enough to manage, so I really didn’t need to add his to the mix. He’d be no support to me—he wasn’t even trying to make this easier. Although, really, what did I expect him to do? The lightness of the moment when we had been running in the rain was long gone, replaced now by silence and discomfort.