Reach for triumph. The words echoed in my head. How though? How is it possible in the midst of so much hurt? “You make it sound easy.” My voice held a scratchy note.
She shook her head. “It’s not easy. It takes work and faith and a whole heart full of hope. It takes letting the pain in too. Because what I learned in Africa as I went through the process, is that you can’t shut off one emotion without shutting off all your emotions. You have to feel the pain if you’re going to feel the joy. It’s just the way it works. So no, it’s not easy, but it’s possible. And now, all I want is for my father to leave me in peace, to allow me to figure out on my own what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.”
I understood now. I understood why she’d been willing to go to drastic measures to gain some freedom. I understood why she’d been willing to marry a stranger rather than ask her father for a single dime of his money—money that surely had any number of soul-stripping strings attached. She had chosen to split the money fifty-fifty, as if it was the only bargaining tool she felt she was worth. She had chosen me, and I suddenly felt gratitude that far outweighed the financial gain. “And what have you come up with so far?” I asked. What are your dreams?
“I might go back to college. I might become a pirate and sail the seven seas.” She gave me a wry smile, but it dissolved into a sigh. “The point is I have choices. Because of my gram, and because of you, I can do practically anything.” Our gazes locked and I had the very brief but sharp urge to fall to my knees and swear my everlasting servitude to her. Relax, Gray.
“You’d make a really hot pirate,” I finally said.
She laughed right as a loud knock sounded at the front door. “Room service,” I said with a smile.
There was no table in the suite, so I set up the food on the coffee table in the spacious living room, and we both sat down to eat. The mood seemed to have lightened despite the very heavy topics we’d discussed and despite the fact that Kira had just shared her very personal, painful story. Maybe that’s what she’d needed, though. I imagined she hadn’t spoken of it much, if at all, given she’d left immediately after it happened and had only returned recently.
“I owe you an apology,” I said through a bite of stroganoff that wasn’t nearly as good as Charlotte’s. “I misjudged you from the moment I met you. I had you completely wrong. I’m sorry for that.”
Kira shrugged. “I’m used to it. And I did my own share of misjudging, dragon.” She shot me a wink.
“Kira,” I said after a minute, “I know we agreed on two months, but you can stay longer if you’d like. I mean if it will help give you time to figure out what your next step is.”
She looked at me sideways. “You may come to regret that offer.”
I suppressed a smile at her sarcasm. “Probably. You relentlessly try my patience. But even so, I mean it.”
She turned toward me and grinned, that witchy little dimple appearing, and the lust that shot through my body was sharp and sudden.
“I appreciate it. But I think it will be good for me to set up a place of my own.”
I didn’t want to acknowledge the disappointment I felt at her words. “Will you stay in Napa?” Please say yes.
She looked pensive. “I don’t know. If we’re trying to elevate your social standing in Napa, I’m not sure moving to my own place there makes sense. But I’ll stay in California for a little while at least. Until we file for divorce.”
I nodded and an awkward silence ensued. She was thinking of my circumstances in all this? Why did she care at all? I wasn’t sure what I felt in that moment and was even less sure I wanted to analyze it. Things were getting more complicated by the moment.
We finished dinner and I placed the dishes outside the door for pickup. When I came back into the suite, I found Kira back in her room, standing at the sliding glass door of the balcony, peering out. I watched her for a few seconds, taking in her relaxed posture, the long waves of her hair falling down her back. Tenderness filled my chest. She was so strong and so beautiful. I walked to stand behind her, moved her hair over one shoulder, and leaned in and kissed the back of her neck. It felt as natural as breathing. She shivered but didn’t pull away.
“Kira,” I murmured, inhaling her sweet fragrance. I was unsure whether I should be touching her, whether I should be attempting to move our relationship in this direction. Maybe I needed to be protecting her from myself. But for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself stop. And when I kissed her neck again and she let out a soft moan, I came undone completely.
I turned her in my arms and brought my hands up to hold her face, being careful not to put pressure on the bruise on her cheek where her father had hit her. I leaned in to kiss her sweet mouth, a deep moan emerging from my throat as I threaded my fingers into the silky waves of her hair, tilting her head so I could plunge my tongue deeper. I wanted to devour her, become part of her fire, her life force.
I walked backward, pulling her with me gently until I hit the bed. Then I turned her so she fell back and I followed her down. I forced myself to slow, taking a long, shuddering breath. Kira stared up at me with half-lidded eyes. God, she was beautiful. “I want you,” I said, my voice sounding raw to my own ears.
She blinked, her expression filling with uncertainty. She wanted me too, but she wasn’t ready. I swore to myself, a sudden flash of how she’d looked earlier in my arms, her eyes reddened by tears, her bottom lip trembling. I could probably convince her to sleep with me tonight, but that didn’t feel right anymore. Not now that I knew her story. When she came to my bed, she had to come willingly. But I could still do something for her. I leaned in and kissed her again. “Let me give you pleasure, Kira. Let me show you how beautiful you are when I make you come.” She still looked uncertain, but she didn’t tell me to stop, so I took that as a yes and leaned in to kiss her neck. She tipped her head back and let out a small sigh as I licked and nipped at the soft, tender skin of her throat. The taste of her was new and familiar all at once, and I felt my heart beating rapidly in my chest. “You are bewitching. Perfect,” I whispered in her ear, rising above her to remove her shirt. She lifted her arms over her head, the look in her eyes less wary than it had been, heat burning away her previous reservation.
I unsnapped her bra and took a moment to gaze down at her naked breasts. My cock pulsed against the restrictive zipper of my jeans, and I moved my hand to her rose-colored nipple. I scraped it gently with the nail of my thumb and she jerked her hips off the bed, moaning. “Gray,” she rasped. At the sound of my name on her lips, frantic lust spiked through my body again and I gritted my teeth. I licked my thumb and wet her nipple, stimulating the hard peak until she was letting out sweet little pants. Then I leaned down and sucked the other one into my mouth, swirling my tongue around, biting gently and then laving again. Her hips pressed upward into my swollen erection, and we both moaned.
Kira’s fingers threaded into my hair as I kissed down her stomach. I stood to remove her jeans and our gazes tangled, hers bright and luminescent with passion, her eyes fluttering closed after a moment. “Beautiful,” I murmured. “So beautiful.” My fiery little witch was squirming and moaning and so beautifully vibrant with passion. How would any man alive not find this stunningly erotic? How would any man alive not want to experience this response from the woman he was making love to? From the woman who belonged to him? Looking at her this way felt like inhaling a bright ray of sunlight.