I stopped a few feet away, frowning. “I wish to leave.”
Neither of them responded. They didn’t need to.
My heart sank, my new plans dissolving upon the warm breeze. I was evidently not permitted to leave the palace grounds.
Footsteps crunched down the drive behind me before I could set my panic-induced anger free by demanding to be released.
I whirled on Avrin, seething quietly, “Why won’t they let me through?”
“It’s not safe for you out there. You know that better than anyone after almost having your throat carved wide open.”
The reminder made me instantly tense. “I can fend for myself, Avrin.”
“Of course.” His lips twitched. “With the help of some creatures, if they just so happen to be around?”
I glowered at him. “Let me go. Whatever happens to me is of no consequence to you and Molkan.” I swallowed thickly, suddenly desperate to run through those gates when his brows rose and his arms crossed. “I have no intention of being captured by Florian, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”
Avrin gave the guards behind me a slight nod, an unreadable command in his gold eyes. Then he looked down at me and whispered through lips that barely moved, “We cannot talk here.”
Confused, I let him escort me back to the terrace and up the steps.
As we neared my room, my impatience and anger returned. I hissed, “I didn’t realize I was a fucking prisoner.”
His brows jumped at my crassness.
But I wasn’t sorry. In fact, something loosened in my chest at having been so careless with my actions.
It was then everything I’d held inside for days while hoping to be proven wrong—while hoping that I’d merely grown jaded from all I’d been through—exploded. “He barely even looks at me, Avrin. Not once has he asked me about myself, about the things I love and the life I’ve had…” My chest heaved, my eyes blurring with unexpected tears. “I want to leave. Please,” I croaked. “Just let me leave.”
Avrin licked his lips, casting his gaze to the end of the empty hall.
When he looked back at me, he murmured, “You’re not a prisoner, Tullia. But until we’ve formally announced your arrival at the introduction ball tomorrow evening, we would like you to remain in the palace.”
My breath stalled with my thudding heart.
I shook my head, not wanting to believe I’d overreacted with my outburst. But perhaps I had. “A ball?”
Avrin’s jaw clenched. He nodded and lingered after he stepped back, as if he wished to say something else. Then he walked away.
I blinked at his tense form, so stunned, I almost flinched when he cursed and turned back.
“No,” he said with a humorless laugh. “You want to know what I think?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer. My eyes widened as he advanced on me.
“I think even if you were a prisoner, you should be nothing but grateful. You live better than most while trapped within these walls among this huge estate. You’ve spent time with the enemy that seeks to eradicate this kingdom from the map of Folkyn, yet we still treat you with respect although you’re reluctant to talk about anything you’ve experienced during your time at Hellebore Manor.”
“I…” I stepped back against my closed door, at a loss for all the words I’d thought I still wanted to voice.
“I should hate you.” Avrin’s smirk was cruel, his scent a rising spiced mint as he loomed over me and set his hands on either side of my head upon the door. “I want to hate you. You’re ignorant and insufferably trusting and naive, and it drives me mad, but that is also why I can’t. This…” He gestured around us. “This prison you’re referring to?”
His hand slapped back against the wood by my head as he leaned so close, I could see the flecks of brown within his gold eyes. “It’s supposed to be mine, and now, I can’t help but be glad that I might have to share it, and it fucking enrages me.”
Shock stole my voice, my thoughts, then my breath as his mouth fell over mine.
Without a second of hesitation, he kissed me.
Rough at first touch, then immediately slowing to a rubbing caress. A stunned breath left me, and he rumbled a groan in response, his tongue seeking entry to my mouth. I gave it to him, but only for a moment.
His taste, a softened sweet wine, startled.
Something within me recoiled. My head turned, forcing his lips from mine.
Staring at the stone arch while Avrin seemed to inhale my scent at my neck, I withheld the urge to push him away—and the urge that pleaded for the return of his kiss to help erase the stain of another’s. I whispered thickly, “Thought you weren’t interested in Florian’s toys.”
He stepped back, his hands slowly sliding down the door. “I lied.”
When I finally dared to look at him, he was gone.
I didn’t sleep.
I tossed and turned in the spring warmth, uncomfortable in my own skin and mulling over Avrin’s words. He thought I would take all he expected to inherit—and I would. I should. Yet just imagining such a thing, that I would one day rule this place…
I couldn’t imagine it at all.
Avrin had been wrong in so many ways to say what he had. But he’d also been right. I didn’t deserve this, and I clearly didn’t want this. Not in the way he did. Though there was one thing he’d said I couldn’t understand, and it chased me from bed and into the quiet hall.
He wasn’t awake. No one would be. It was long after midnight.
It didn’t matter. I walked to the end of the hall to the row of arched windows that gave view to the star shine over the lake in the distance.
A harsh laugh echoed from down the hall. From the springs, I realized. About to head back to my room, I stopped at hearing my father’s voice.
“… marry you. I will not have her used as a weapon to bring me to my knees.”
A pause. “And if she refuses?”
“She cannot.”
Silence.
I crept closer but didn’t dare get too close to the stairs that twirled down beneath the ground to the springs.
Several failed heartbeats later, Avrin murmured, “You cannot mean…” Another pause. “She is your daughter.”
Molkan growled, “I went without one for twenty years, only to be handed a creature sullied by my enemy.” His voice dropped. “I care not for her fate. I cannot afford to when more important things are at stake.”
More silence followed. A silence so loud, I feared my chaotic heartbeat might be heard. I gripped the window ledge, knowing I should walk away before I heard anything else that might leave another scar.
Then Avrin spoke in a hard tone. “Tullia is not an object to claim or discard, Sire.”
A gruff, humorless laugh bounced up the stairs and echoed down the hall. “Yet that is exactly what she has become, and if you truly desire to one day take my place, then you must learn from my mistakes.” Molkan barked, “Cease thinking with your fucking cock.”
The white-haired servant delivered a sheer golden gown that would leave minimal to the imagination.
Although I was far from pleased with the finery, I still smiled and gestured for him to lay it on the bed.