Eventually, she steps back and holds me at arm’s length, her nose wrinkling as though she’s smelled something bad. Probably me—my weeks-long pity party on the trip home didn’t exactly translate into frequent showers. The Imperial transport had all the amenities a princess could dream of, of course, but every luxury just drove a new, painful splinter into my heart, because it wasn’t the Starlight.
“Kalinda,” she says, and there’s real emotion in her voice. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were dead.” Her gaze drops down over me. “And what in the system are you wearing?”
“I missed you too, Mom. And I thought you’d recognize it. It’s an Imperial military uniform.”
“I know what it is.” Her nostrils flare. “The question is why it’s on my daughter’s body.”
Well, the choices were this, my ratty old jumpsuit, or Arik’s clothes, which are uncomfortably large on me. But I merely settle on, “It’s been a wild ride.”
Her gaze sharpens on me. “You’ve changed.”
I have. But I’m certainly not about to apologize for that—or make excuses. “I had to adapt to life on the Starlight, but now I’m home.”
“You need to put that period behind you. And those people you were with.”
Never. “They saved my life.”
“I’ve seen the reports. They’re murderers and outlaws, the whole group of them.”
“What about the High Priestess of the Sisterhood of the Light—and her bodyguard?”
“You know how I feel about the Sisterhood.” She sniffs. “But I see they’ve influenced you in some way. You always did have a fondness for the underdogs of the system. We’ll have to work on that.”
I don’t think that’s going to happen. But I nod. “I’m already over it. But I would be dead if it wasn’t for them.” This is important, so I look her square in the eye. “Please promise me you won’t go after them. Promise, Mom.”
She pats my arm. “Of course not. No reason to think of them further. And I’ll always be grateful to them for saving you.”
“Thank you so much.” I knew she would see reason. But that doesn’t mean Ian’s words aren’t still echoing in my head, telling me the Empress can’t be trusted. Just in case, I’ll talk to Arik after this, put a few fail-safes in place separate from Mom.
There is one question I can’t wait to ask. “Mother, do you know what happened? Who attacked the Caelestis and why?”
“Not yet, and this discussion will have to wait, Kalinda. First, we need to get you cleaned up; then, we will reveal you to the world. We must show everyone that you are back safely where you belong, that any plan against your life has failed, and that those involved will be hunted down and punished. I’ve already instigated an order that any known rebel sympathizers be brought in for questioning.”
“But you said you didn’t know who launched the attack.”
“Maybe not, but this will do nicely to slow down the rebels. They’re like sloggs breeding in the sewers. Every now and then, they need to be eradicated.”
I go cold at her words. That’s exactly what I was afraid she would do, but hearing her say it like that—so easily—is absolutely terrifying. And infuriating. As is the thought that she used my father’s death as an attempt to do the same thing instead of going after his real killer.
I bite my lip, tell myself not to say anything that will upset her quite yet—there are so many things I have to say to her—but it’s hard. Really hard.
Thankfully, she takes that moment to start walking. “Come inside,” she tells me. “There’s someone who’s been waiting to see you.”
Lara? I wonder, excitement racing through me for the first time in days. It’s all I can do not to run into the palace. But I’ve worked too hard not to let my mother know how much I care about her to blow it now. The Empress tends to take away whatever I care about, and if I don’t want the same thing to happen with Lara, I need to keep up the facade.
One of my mother’s personal bodyguards holds open the door for us, and I can’t help the small grin that comes to my face as I walk inside. At least until I realize that I’ve miscalculated—horribly. Because it’s not Lara waiting for me inside the palace.
It’s Dr. Veragelen. She’s alive. She’s here. And she’s smiling.
Freaking steaming drokaray droppings.
Chapter 69
Kali
My feet are glued to the floor.
There’s a part of me that wants to run, but where would I even go? There’s nowhere to go except forward. Shit, shit, shit.
I square my shoulders. Because it doesn’t matter why Dr. Veragelen is here—I’m going to convince my mother to help those who need it, and she can’t stop me.
It’s that thought that gives me the strength to walk forward, to force my feet to carry me—one step at a time—straight toward her.
Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t fucking puke.
Play it cool, and everything will be fine.
She gets my best regal nod—the one I reserve for people I despise. “Dr. Veragelen, how good to see you. I was so glad to hear you survived the…trouble…on the Caelestis.”
“I feel the same way about you, Your Highness, though I fear you had a much more difficult time of things than I did.”
I think about the attack in Rangar.
About the ships tracking us across the system.
About Ian and I both nearly dying on Glacea. How Milla and Max nearly died that day, too.
“I’m sure it was…difficult for both of us,” I tell her graciously. “But I am glad to be home.”
“As am I. And now we can put it all behind us and move on to a much brighter future.”
I really don’t like the sound of that.
My mother gestures to the group of seats around a small, ornate table where fiznachi and crystal glasses have been set out, and I have a sudden craving for the burning taste of gerjgin.
Dr. Veragelen and my mother sit on one side of the table while I sit on the other—as far from the doctor as I can manage and still be polite.
The lines have definitely been drawn.
I pick up my glass of fiznachi and swallow it in one gulp before pouring another.
My mother glares at me, and part of me wants nothing more than to raise the glass to her in a toast to the people. A small shock might do her personality good.
“So,” Dr. Veragelen starts without so much as touching her drink. “Now that you’ve returned to us, Kalinda, there’s something you need to know. The heptosphere—”
“It wasn’t destroyed in the explosions?” I ask. I was sure it would have been.
“Of course not. As far as we can tell, it’s impervious to any and all damage, thankfully, since it is vitally important in our strategy to save the system.”
Its supposedly pivotal importance is nothing new—it’s the same story she was selling when we were aboard the Caelestis. I give her my most unimpressed look.
“But so far,” Dr. Veragelen continues, “we have been unable to…activate it.”
“I’m not sure what that has to do with me,” I tell her.