Then again, it’s nearly impossible for me to take myself seriously, looking like this. Is it any wonder that they don’t take me seriously, either?
My slogg dress is unraveling. It’s at mid-thigh now, and it won’t be long before it’s completely indecent. I’m still barefoot, and my hair more closely resembles a drokaray’s nest than the coronet braid it was originally styled in. All in all, I’m a disaster.
You would think that would help me fit in with this group—every one of them is a calamity—but somehow it just sets me further apart.
Not that I care. A few more days and I’ll never have to see any of them again. Thank fuck.
My lower lip wobbles, and I bite it, hard, to stop the trembling. Then immediately regret it because the taste of blood just reminds me that I’ve got nothing to wash it away with.
We finished the last of the water an hour ago, and, knowing it’s gone, I’m thirstier than ever. I feel completely pathetic next to everyone else. They seem just fine, and all I can think about is how hungry and sad I am. Instead of Gage and Max, I decided to share a room with Rain last night, while Merrick stood guard over us both. He clearly cares for her a lot, and it reminded me of how Arik used to hover over me. Which made me think of Lara and the fact that there’s a good chance she’s dead. She’s the only friend I’ve ever had, and I left her there on the Caelestis to die.
Yeah, the bulkhead slammed down between us, but I should have tried another way. There had to be another way—
“Are you okay, Princess?”
I glance up to see Max smiling down at me. He’s so much kinder than Ian that, even after two days of prolonged exposure to both of them, I still can’t figure out why they’re friends.
I wince at his use of my title—I’ve never been particularly fond of it, but the way Ian uses it so sardonically has made me despise it. “Never better,” I tell him.
He grins. “I thought princesses weren’t supposed to lie.”
Hah. Just proves he really doesn’t know anything about royalty, considering lying is the first thing we are taught to do. Back at the palace, it’s practically survival 101.
“They teach us a lot of things.” I give him a grin I’m far from feeling. “None of which are particularly useful at the moment.”
He lifts his brows in a good point kind of way. “To be fair, I’m not sure anything is useful inside this flying ablinit can.”
“Hey, now. No need to diss the ride,” Beckett tells him as she leans back in the pilot’s seat I don’t think she’s left in two days. “She’s gotten us this far.”
“I’m not sure that’s exactly a recommendation,” Gage comments, looking up from where he’s sketching on one of the old notepads Merrick found in the storage area.
“Sure it is. Askkandia’s coming up.” Beckett shoots me a look that can only be described as condescending. “Wave to Mummy, Princess.”
I ignore her, getting up and wandering across the bridge to the front.
Through the right viewing screen, I can see my home planet, still too distant to make out any details but getting closer all the time. From up here, it’s hard to imagine my mother down there in the palace, going about the day-to-day responsibilities of running an empire. Is she worried about me? Or has she already decided that I’m dead? Maybe she’s too busy doing damage control on the destruction of the Caelestis to spend much time thinking about me at all.
It sounds self-pitying to say that, but it’s not. It comes with the job description. Senestris is in serious trouble, and the Caelestis was our best hope of surviving that trouble. Now that it’s gone, I’m sure she and the Council are scrambling as fast as they can to come up with a new plan. There’s no time for her to grieve for me right now.
“Do you think she misses you?” Beckett asks me. “Maybe we can stop by and she can kiss your boo-boos.”
“Knock it off,” Ian tells her as he walks in, rubbing a hand through his short hair so it stands on end.
It makes me see red. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”
“Good, because I wasn’t planning on it.” He doesn’t look at me, but that’s nothing new. He’s been all but ignoring me since I warned him not to touch me—and Rain followed up with information that it was punishable by death.
I’m sure he thinks it’s too high a risk. Not that I care. Things are a lot more peaceful without him constantly telling me what to do.
But I can’t help surreptitiously watching him as he strolls across the floor. He moves like a predator, all sleek lines and leashed brutal power. He glances toward me as he passes, and I look away—two can play at the ignoring game. But that doesn’t stop a shiver from running through me.
He comes to a halt behind Beckett and bends down to study the screen in front of her. With their heads close together, it’s hard to miss the similarities between them—the edge of violence that permeates the air around them, as though the veneer of civilization is just a thin coating over their more primitive selves.
Across the room, I notice Rain is watching them, too, and I can’t quite decipher her expression. Longing, maybe? Or something a little darker. Needier. Does the priestess have a hankering for bad boys?
I ignore the not-so-pleasant feeling that thought causes, choosing to focus on Ian instead as he turns to face the room.
“Okay, people, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re heading down to the planet and making landfall in Rangar.”
It takes all my royal training to hide my shock. “Rangar?” I ask. “You’re kidding.”
“Now, why would I want to do that?” he answers with a smirk.
“Rangar is…dangerous.” Not that I’ve ever been, but if there’s a dead-end place on Askkandia, it’s the port city of Rangar. My mother keeps threatening to raze it to the ground, then deciding that at least she currently knows where to find the bad elements.
“And how would you know that, Princess? You been slumming it?”
“No, but I’ve heard.”
“Yeah, Rangar is dangerous, but that’s the point. It’s likely the only place on Askkandia where we can get what we need with no questions asked.”
“Yeah, but—” I break off when I realize Beckett is watching me with disgust.
“Looks like the princess is scared of all the little people,” she taunts.
“It’s not that I’m scared,” I tell her. See, I know how to lie. “I know my mother can be ruthless, but she has to be. It’s not easy running Senestris. But she also loves me. And she will be grateful if you take me back. Very grateful.”
“How grateful?” Gage asks, just as Ian says, “No.”
No discussion. No explanation. Just no. The jerk.
“Doesn’t anyone else get a say in this?” I try to sound reasonable despite my annoyance. “Maybe we should go for a vote?”
“I vote you shut up,” Beckett snarls.
Big shock there. “I’m just saying, there are other ways besides negotiating with thieves and renegades.”
“And here I thought you said you wanted us to go to the palace,” Beckett shoots back.