She’s stroking me over and over again, sucking my clit into her mouth, sliding her tongue along the lips of my sex as my breaths get harsher and my movements wilder.
I feel myself spiraling up, up, up, my body balanced on a precipice of pleasure so intense that I can barely process it. I’m close, so close, to something I don’t understand, and all I can think is more. I need more. I need everything.
Beckett gives it to me, her fingers twisting deep inside me as she circles my clit with hard little lashes of her tongue. And then I’m flying, my body shooting off the bed and flying straight into oblivion as pleasure washes over me, through me, around me, inside me.
Beckett rides me through it, with her fingers and her lips and her tongue, until nothing else matters but her and me and the ecstasy burning so brightly between us. And then, when it’s over, she does it again. And again. And again.
Until I forget how to breathe, how to think.
Until I forget what it was like to exist without this endless well of pleasure.
Until I forget what it was like to be me without her. Without Beckett.
When it’s over, she slides her way back up my body and I reach for her. I’m exhausted, wrung out, but I’m determined to bring her at least a fraction of what she’s just given me.
“I want to make you feel like that,” I whisper, my fingers toying with her wild curls as my other hand creeps slowly down her body.
But she just drops a kiss on my mouth, lets me taste myself lingering on her lips. “When we wake up,” she murmurs, and I want to argue, but my eyes are already closing and so are hers.
I drift into sleep with the sound of her soft breathing in my ear, and I wake up the same way. And when she moves restlessly on the bed, I do what I’ve been wanting to do all along.
I kiss my way down her body until her hands clutch in my hair and her hips arch against my mouth, and the sweetness of her release flows over me like a river.
And nothing has ever felt so right.
Chapter 51
Beckett
Six days later, and we’re still in orbit around Glacea. The Starlight won’t move.
I’ve done everything to try to convince her otherwise, as has Gage, but nothing has worked. This is definitely one of those times when the ship has a mind of her own and she won’t be dissuaded.
Ian, of course, is losing it. With every hour that passes, he’s getting grumpier and more pissed off. Even Kali and Max can’t calm him down—and I know, because I’ve broken all my rules about asking for help and begged them to try. Because if he comes onto my bridge one more time and starts harping at me about getting the Starlight to go, I’m not sure I won’t gut him. Or at least punch the hell out of him. After all, he’s not the only one desperate to get to the Wilds.
The only thing that’s saved him so far is the fact that I’ve been a little…preoccupied with Rain. Kali is back in the bedroom, so I don’t get to hold her every night like I want to. But since things have been completely dead around here flying-wise, we’ve spent more than a few hours locked in the cabin together. And every time is somehow better than the last.
Not that we spend all our time in bed. We’ve also spent hours talking about her life in the monastery and mine with the rebels. Talking about stories we’ve read, places we want to go, and anything else that strikes our fancy.
Rain has told me so many stories about the different people at the monastery that I feel like I know them. I particularly want to meet Sister Malconi, who has the biggest flower hothouse in the monastery, underground to protect it from the heat, and treats everyone like criminals just trying to get their hands on her blooms.
Every day, Rain tells me another story about her. We laugh and laugh. I don’t know, because I have nothing to compare it to, but I think it’s happiness I’m feeling.
I’ve also been teaching her about the Starlight and—theoretically—how to fly her. A few times, Kali has even joined us, and I’ve taught her, too. She seems to have a serious thirst for knowledge, and fuck it, who am I to deny her?
Yet for some reason, when I woke up today, it was with a black cloud pressing down on me. I’m tense, impatient, and the rage that’s been my companion since my father died is riding me hard.
Jarved would have been nineteen today.
Nineteen.
He was still a boy when I saw him last. He’d be a man now, the same age as Rain.
So much rage.
If there’s even the smallest chance that he’s alive, I have to go look for him.
A pain stabs at the back of my skull, threatening a migraine, just to make my fucking day complete.
I stride onto the bridge, hoping for a little solitude before I have to face everyone else at lunch in the galley. And come to an immediate standstill, because everyone is here. Everyone. In my bridge at the time I most want to be alone.
Merrick and Rain are seated together along the right wall. She glances up and does a double take. Apparently she’s picked up on my black mood. Max is sitting in the captain’s chair while Gage stands behind him, leaning against the seat. And they’re all watching Ian and Kali, who are standing in the center of the space.
Uncontrollable rage surges through me as I stare at the princess. Sometimes I manage to forget who she is, that her family is responsible for every terrible thing that’s happened to me in my life, and in those moments I swear I could actually like her. But other times, like right now, on Jarved’s nineteenth birthday, I can’t.
Her mother’s forces had my father tortured and killed.
The same forces took my brother several years later and more than likely did the same to him.
Then those forces came back for me, taking me to the Caelestis to be tortured and experimented on before they tried to ship me off to the most terrifying place in the system.
And here she stands, smiling like she doesn’t have a care in the world. She’s looking up at Ian, teasing him about something, with a wide grin on her face. I have to fist my hands at my sides to stop myself from crossing the room and punching her in that smiling mouth.
It works for now, but I know it’s a quick, cheap fix. One that won’t last forever—or even for the next few minutes.
Chapter 52
Kali
I’m aware of Beckett as soon as she steps onto the bridge.
I’m pretty sure we all are, considering she looks like a black hole, just waiting to pull all of us into the overwhelming gravity of her fury. It’s strange to see her like this, all stone-faced and angry, when for the last week she’s seemed so different than usual. Softer. More relaxed, despite the fact that Ian has been hounding her nonstop.
Something’s definitely changed that today, considering she’s nearly incandescent with hostility. Her eyes are a cold and gleaming yellow, while the scar on her neck shows up in stark definition against her skin. And her lips are a tight line as she stares directly at me in a way I can’t ignore, no matter how much I want to.
Who pissed in her Moon Mallows this morning?
“Are you paying attention?” Ian demands, his voice sharp as he stares at me impatiently. He’s as impatient and combustible in his way as Beckett is in hers. Which should make today extra fun.
Lucky, lucky me.
I drag my gaze away from Beckett to focus on him, though part of me thinks I’d be better off keeping a close watch on her. She really does look ready to explode.