Her fingers stop tapping—her anger has just ratcheted up another notch.
“I can’t come back yet, Mother. There’s something I need to do first.”
“Nonsense. You need to get home where you belong.”
“Not yet.”
Her eyes narrow, and I realize that I’ve never actually said no to my mother in my whole life. It feels good. Liberating.
“Kalinda, if you won’t come home because your mother asks you to, then come because it’s an order from your Empress.”
She’s bringing out the big guns. And I’m not impressed. “What are you going to do—lock me in a cell?”
“I will think of a suitable punishment.” Then her face softens. “Is this because of these people you’re with? I’ve heard they are outlaws, murderers…”
Friends, I think. They’re my friends, and I won’t let her take that from me just because she doesn’t understand.
“They saved my life on the Caelestis.”
“Sometimes people can attach inappropriate feelings to their captors. They can even fall in love with them. Is that what’s happening here, Kalinda?”
I can feel my cheeks heating, and I force myself not to look at Ian. “No one is a captor here, and I don’t love anyone.”
Beckett snorts while Max clutches a hand over his heart and pretends to be devastated. I ignore them both, my expression perfectly smooth.
My mother plows ahead. “We have strong reason to believe that the attack on the Caelestis was a deliberate attempt by the Rebellion to assassinate you.”
Beckett snorts again. And this time I want to snort right along with her.
My mother has been using the Rebellion as a boogeyman against me since I was a child. She became even more adamant after my father was murdered, convincing me they were the ones responsible. But if that was a lie, why should I believe this is any more true?
“Our intel strongly suggests that they are still coming after you,” my mom says. “That they know you’re out there and vulnerable and they are not going to stop until they hunt you down and kill you.”
I don’t doubt that—someone is definitely trying to kill us, and it makes sense that I’m the target. But she’s not providing any new information, so if she wants to scare me, she’s doing a lousy job. We’ve survived five assassination attempts—three on the Starlight and two on Ian and me. Telling me someone is out to get us isn’t exactly news.
I glance sideways at Ian, where he’s leaning against the pilot’s console. A little frown has formed between his eyes, and he looks worried. I give him a tiny reassuring nod before turning back to my mother.
If she’s so concerned, I do have something she might be able to help with. “I’ve noticed there are bulletins all over the system declaring I’m an imposter and offering a reward for my capture. Have you seen them?”
Her lips pinch tight. “The intelligence service has made me aware of this, but we haven’t been able to get to the bottom of them yet. We will, I can assure you, and those responsible will be brought to justice. But Kali, my darling, that’s just one more indication that I can’t keep you safe out there.”
“Maybe I don’t need you to keep me safe,” I tell her.
“What about your new friends?” she asks. “Do you need me to keep them safe?”
“They’re fine,” I tell her.
“Are they?” She arches a brow. “You clearly care for them. Whether you want to believe me or not, someone is trying to kill you. Do you really want to put your friends at risk? Are you willing to let them die with you? Because that’s what will happen. Whoever is after you will find you, and you will all die, and it will be your fault. Do you really want their blood on your hands?”
For the first time, her words get through to me. My stomach clenches, and I feel sick. We’ve been trying to figure out who’s trying to kill us for weeks—and who the intended target is. Now my mother is saying that she knows. That it’s me and that I’m putting everyone in danger by being here.
I don’t want it to be true, but there’s a part of me that’s known all along that it had to be me. I think back to Gage getting shot. Think back to Ian staying with me when he should have run back to the ship. To the Starlight racing straight at those battleships and nearly getting us all killed. If my mother is right and the people who are trying to kill us are after me and not Rain or any of the others, then I truly am putting them in danger.
As if sensing her advantage—the Empress is nothing if not a prudent observer of weakness in others—she goes in for the kill. “Think about what I’m telling you, Kali. But not for long, or it will be too late. Send your coordinates, and I will come and collect you. As soon as we can show that you’re safely back in the palace, there will be no point in going after them. They will be safe. It’s the only way.”
And then the screen goes blank.
She’s gone.
And all I can think about is my friends dying because of me. It’s one thing to know someone is trying to kill you and your friends; it’s another to know they’re trying to kill you and the people you care about are just collateral damage.
A shiver runs through me as my mind churns with nightmare scenarios. All of them ending with my friends dead. All of them ending with Ian dead.
Just the thought has tears burning the backs of my eyes. What if my mother’s not just trying to get what she wants? What if she’s actually telling the truth for once and my being here is doing nothing but hurting all these people I’ve come to care about?
Ian moves in next to me, rests a hand on my shoulder. Before I even know I’m going to do it, I swing around and wrap my arms around him, holding him as tightly as I can as the truth creeps through me.
I’m going to lose him before I ever really get the chance to have him.
I tell myself he’s never really been mine to lose—that this is just an exciting little interlude for both of us and that it ending was always inevitable. But it doesn’t feel like an interlude—not to my heart. And not to me.
“You don’t believe her, do you?” Ian asks.
I take a deep breath and hold it inside until the urge to cry dissipates. Because I do believe her. Not necessarily about the Rebellion—Beckett says they don’t have the kind of resources necessary to pull off the explosions on the Caelestis, and I’m willing to believe her—but about the rest.
It only makes sense.
All along, I knew I was the target. Why else would they wait until I was aboard the Caelestis to blow it up? It’s one thing to take down the premier space station in the system. It’s another thing altogether to take it down with the crown princess on board.
One is murder and destruction of property. The other is those things and full-blown treason. No one does that accidentally, especially not with all the extra safety protocols in place for my arrival. It had to be deliberate, which means it really was aimed at me all along.
“Hey, Kali.” Ian pulls back just enough to slide a finger under my chin and tilt my face up to his. “We’ve done okay so far, haven’t we?”
We have. But for how long? At what cost? And how much longer can we keep it up?