"No?" I frown.
His lips twitch. "It’s that I don’t want to try. I love you, Penny." He lowers his head and places his lips over mine. "More than myself. My life is worth living because I found you. I know what love is because of you, baby." He presses his mouth to mine, and his kiss is so sweet, so tender, so everything, I melt into him.
I wrap my arms about his shoulders and tug on the short hair at the nape of his neck. I press myself to him, open my lips, but when the phone buzzes again, I stop. "I think you need to get that. Whoever it is has been trying to reach you for a while."
He presses his forehead into mine and draws in a breath. Then, without releasing me, he pulls out his phone and presses it to his ear. "Hello?" His arm around me tightens. "We’re on our way."
73
Knight
"It’s going to be okay." She places her hand over my joined ones.
We’re at the social services’ office, waiting to meet Adam’s daughter Bianca. She’s been staying with a foster family the last few months. All of my money hadn’t helped me fast-track the process of adopting her. I suppose that says something positive about the foster care system—they won't allow just anyone to adopt, regardless of how much money they have. On the other hand, it can't be healthy to delay the placement of children with their adoptive families.
In the end, Bobbie's passing away accelerated the process. She went to sleep and never woke up. The nurse at the hospital told us she passed peacefully. The call I received was from the hospital, and when we arrived, they told us the news. They mentioned she’d had lucid moments over the past few months, when she was aware I wasn’t her husband, but her husband’s friend. Unfortunately, she flitted in and out of reality. Luckily, one of those lucid moments also resulted in a letter to child protective services specifying her wishes that Penny and I be permitted to adopt her child.
She said she couldn’t think of a better couple to step in for her and Adam.
She also said she hadn’t wanted her daughter to see her in the state she was in, so she’d made the decision not to see Bianca, even though it broke her heart. This was right for her daughter. She was leaving the stage wide open for Penny and me to walk into Bianca’s life as her parents.
The letter gutted me. I’m not ashamed to say I found a tear running down my cheek. Thankfully, my wife was there to console me. We held onto each other, and I allowed myself to absorb comfort from her. After all, that’s what marriage is about, right?
I'm not hiding my weaknesses from her anymore. I now realize there's courage in sharing. There’s bravery in baring my deepest fears. Leaning on her doesn’t take away from my manhood; it adds to my grit, my guts, and my depth. And allowing her to comfort me, to recognize the man I truly am, is the most satisfying sensation. Almost as fulfilling as making her happy in every way. As fulfilling as allowing her to hold my hand as we wait for the three-year-old who’s going to change our lives to join us.
We'd arranged for a small private burial for Bobbie and came to the social services office from the cemetery. I threw all of my power and influence at the system, and also took Sinclair’s help in moving the paperwork along. I didn’t want my daughter to be spending another night away from her family.
I hear footsteps approaching, then the voice of a little girl exclaiming, " Are we going to meet my… new parents? Do you think they’ll be okay for me to take my little Kitty along?" She walks in with her foster caregiver, a middle-aged woman with a kind face.
When Bianca spots us, her blue eyes grow round. She has dark blonde hair which has been braided on either side of her cherubic face. She’s wearing a pink dress that falls above her knees, and on her feet, she has sparkly, pink ballet pumps. She’s holding a soft toy in the shape of a kitten in her hand. Her footsteps slow and she trails back.
Her foster mom turns to her and says, "It’s okay, honey; they were friends of your mummy and daddy. They're going to take care of you now. Do you remember what we talked about?"
She nods slowly, as she takes in both of us.
Her foster mum comes to a stop in front of us. "Do you want to say hello to your new mommy and daddy?"
Her lower lip trembles. She looks from Penny to me, then back to Penny, and her big eyes grow teary. "They don't look like mommy and daddy."
"Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry." Penny drops to her knees and holds out her arms. "Your mommy and daddy asked us to take care of you because they can't be here anymore. We love you so much, darling."
She sniffs, then takes a step forward, another. She releases her hold on her foster mother, and instead, grips the kitten with both of her hands. She walks toward Penny. "Are you my new mommy?"
"I am, baby."
"And you won't leave?"
Penny's chin quivers. "No, we won't leave you. We'll be here for you forever and ever and—"
She throws herself at Penny, who hugs her close.
Penny buries her face in Bianca’s hair. "I have you, baby, I have you."
I look down at the two shiny blonde heads, so similar to each other, and my heart expands in my chest. I blink back tears as a warmth fills me, and a tingling shivers up my spine. It’s a sensation that tells me I have everything I want. Everything I didn’t realize I was looking for, and it’s been given to me. This time, I’m not going to screw it up. This time, I’m going to ensure I hold onto it and be grateful for it every day that I’m alive. This is why I came back. This is why my life was spared. So I can do my best, every single moment, for the rest of my life, to become the kind of human who makes them proud. I squat down until I’m on eye level with both of them.
"I’m Knight. I was your daddy's best friend."
Bianca steps back, one hand now gripping Penny’s. "You’re my new daddy?" She looks at me with those big blue eyes, and for the second time in my life, I’m a goner.
"I am, honey. And I’ll make sure you’re always cared for. I’m here to take care of you from now on."
She slowly closes the distance to me, then reaches up and touches the scar on my cheek, the one I almost forgot about. "Did it hurt?"
I nod. "But I’m okay now, thanks to your mama."
Penny smiles at me. A real smile. No more fake smiles for my woman. I plan to give her every reason to mean each one of them. Bianca looks at me from under her eyelashes, a shy expression on her features. "My kitty also has a scar." She holds up her ragged, soft toy and sure enough, there’s a tear on her face that was stitched up.
"Do you want me to kiss it better for her?" I ask.
When she nods, I lower my head and carefully, and with utmost seriousness, press a kiss to the kitten’s forehead.
She brings her kitten to her ear and pretends to listen to it. "Kitty says she’s feeling much better now."
My lips quirk. "What else does she say?"
"That I’m going to be very happy."
"Is she asleep?"
"Out like a light." Penny sinks down onto the sofa next to me. "She couldn’t stop telling me how much she loves her room and her new toys. I’m sure she’d have loved Tiny, too, if he were here."