It’s Gemma. I watch her as she walks up to Rafaele. She offers him her hand, and he presses his lips to it. I make the mistake of watching their interaction for a second too long, and Nunzio notices.
He chuckles. “Cazzo. You should see your face just now. Subtlety was never your strong suit. That’s Messero’s fiancé, Gemma Garzolo, right? You’re staying with them on your visit. Let me guess, you spent a few days watching her prance around the house, and now you want her.”
I keep a flat expression, even as a heavy weight materializes inside my gut. If Dem knew what I’ve done already with Gemma…
Nunzio smirks. “But you can’t have her. My, my, how history repeats itself. Tell me…” He leans in close to my ear. “Have you ever gotten a single thing you’ve truly wanted? Or do they all slip through your fingers the way Sara did?”
The rage that sweeps through me is so potent I barely realize what I’m doing. I grab him by the scruff of his shirt and swiftly push him through a nearby door that turns out to lead to a small, empty parlor.
He claws at my arm, trying to get my fingers off his neck, but my grip may as well be made of stone.
His face turns red.
His eyes start to bulge.
When his eyelids begin to droop, the distorted voice in my head suddenly becomes clear.
Let go of him.
I snap out of it, throwing him to the floor.
He clutches his throat and wheezes for breath.
Fuck. The pain he inflicted on me still runs deep, as does my need to make him pay, but this isn’t the right place or time.
He’ll get what’s coming to him.
I take a step back just as a woman peeks through the crack in the door.
She makes a loud gasp and rushes into the room.
My heart jumps into my throat when I see who it is.
Sara.
“Nunzio!”
She brushes by me and falls to her knees by the man who’s hateful eyes blaze in my direction.
My past slams into me, memories flooding in.
I met her a few months after Nunzio tried to kill me on the playground. She was sitting on her own at a café in the neighborhood, and when I walked by her, she smiled. She had a beautiful smile. Kind eyes that were the same color as the sky. I said an awkward hello and somehow mustered up the courage to ask if I could buy her another espresso. She said yes.
That’s how it began.
I fell hard and fast. So did she, or at least that’s what I thought. Eventually, I told her about Nunzio and what he’d done to me. It was a stain on my life, a painful past that made me feel weak and ashamed.
She listened. Sympathized.
Then a few months later, she left me for him.
I blink, studying the woman she’s become. She’s aged, but from what I can see, she’s just as beautiful. Thick eyeliner frames her light-blue eyes and wavy dark hair—I used to love that hair—cascades down her back.
What kind of a life did she make with Nunzio? I refuse to believe someone like him could be a decent man to anyone around him.
“What happened?” she asks in a panicked voice, reaching for his arm. He jerks it away from her and starts to hobble back up.
“I’m fine, Sara.”
She reaches for him again, and he snarls at her, “I said I’m fine.”
Hurt blooms over her expression.
There used to be a time when seeing her hurt would drive me into a fit, but as I look at her now, I feel nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
She twists her head and looks at me. “Who is that?”
Ten years have passed since she last saw me. I look different now.
I am different now.
“No one,” Nunzio growls, dusting himself off, but she keeps staring at me.
Finally, recognition flashes inside her eyes. “Cassio?”
I don’t answer. There’s nothing left for us to say to each other, so I turn away and exit through the door.
I’m still trying to pull myself together when Gemma finds me by the bar. I’m about to order a drink I desperately need.
“Hey, where did you go?” She places her hand on my sleeve. “We need to talk.”
“I know.” I flag the bartender down and order a beer. “I was catching up with an old friend.”
“Oh? I didn’t know you knew anyone from Messero’s crew.”
“I didn’t know he worked for Messero. It was a…surprise.”
She nods. “I need to find Cleo to make sure she eats something before we go to the club. Otherwise she’ll be wasted in fifteen minutes.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nunzio and Sara step out of the room where I left them. Nunzio’s palm is pressed against his neck to hide the marks I left.
His gaze meets mine, furious and vengeful. The next time we meet, I’m not sure there’s anything that’ll stop us from putting this to rest one way or another.
“Who’s that?” Gemma asks.
The bartender hands me a beer, and I tip it against my lips. Nunzio and Sara weave through the crowd until they disappear. “No one.”
“What’s wrong?”
She gazes at me, looking so fucking lovely and concerned about me that I get a terrible urge to lean down and kiss her.
“Have you ever gotten a single thing you’ve truly wanted?”
No. Because after Sara, I stopped wanting anything for myself. I didn’t want to risk having something I cared about only for someone to take it away from me. Again.
I found my purpose serving Damiano and being his right-hand man, but is that really all I want out of life?
Gemma’s brows pinch together as she waits for my answer.
She and I, we’re not so different after all. She’s been devoted to her family, neglecting her own wants in service of them.
And me… Well, I’ve devoted myself to Dem and his mission. I’ve even managed to convince myself I’ve found happiness doing that.
But I’ve been lying to myself.
I’m not happy.
Last time I fell hard for a woman, I lost her.
And I think that’s going to happen again.
Because I can’t have Gemma without blowing everything to pieces and going against my don’s will.
CHAPTER 22
GEMMA
We sit down for dinner. Something is wrong with Ras tonight, but I can’t figure out what. He’s been quiet since I found him by the bar, his brows furrowed in thought.
Mamma’s last-minute trip to the Hamptons couldn’t have happened at a worse time. She said she wanted to give us a chance to process the news we got somewhere calm, but I have a feeling Papà asked her to take us away so that we wouldn’t talk about it in the house while Ras is around.
It’s way too late for that though. Ras knows what he plans to do to our family.
Mamma made sure to offer us plenty of her usual guidance. “Remember, you may not understand your father’s ways, but everything he does is to protect our family.”
I’m so sick of hearing that. She said it all the time to us growing up.
How did it take me until the age of twenty to realize it’s a lie?
I feel trapped. Vince hasn’t returned my calls, and I don’t know why. My wedding is mere weeks away, and at this point, making any attempt to back out would be like setting off an atomic bomb.
What if Papà’s right about Vince not wanting the responsibility? Why didn’t I ask him about it at Vale’s wedding?