I think he’d be happy.
An ache fills my chest. I need him so badly right now. He’d know what to do.
Cleo paces the room. “Telling Mamma or Papà is out of the question. We know how they’ll react.”
No, we can’t tell them. I’m not going to let them take this baby from me.
So I have to run, but on my own this time.
Run where?
I have to find Ras. But first I have to get to Europe, and my odds aren’t good. How can I get away from Rafaele and Papà on my own? I can’t just run away without a plan. But I have to do something. I can’t stay here.
An aggravated groan escapes me.
“What am I going to do?” I murmur. “Rafaele and Papà need me. They’ll force me to get rid of it.”
“Rafaele wouldn’t do that,” Cleo says. “You know how traditional his family is.”
“Don’t be naïve. In our world, they only respect the traditions that serve them. Rafaele won’t raise another man’s baby.”
I could pretend the baby is his. The timing wouldn’t be that far off since the wedding is next week.
The moment the thought passes through my head, I know I can’t do it. I can’t keep Ras’s child from him like that.
“I don’t know what to do.” My vision blurs. “I never should have left him. You’re right, Cleo. I should have been brave and stayed. He loved me, and I broke his heart because I was so damn scared that one day, he’d regret sacrificing so much for me. I was so insecure and so worried about the future that I completely missed what was right in front of me. He and I could have had a family together. We would have been happy. Instead, I fucked everything up.”
Cleo wraps her palm over my shoulder and peers into my eyes. “Is that what you want? Do you want to be with Ras?”
“Yes. More than anything.” The lies I told him right before I left press into my brain. I’d have to beg him to forgive me and hope it’s not too late.
“Are you willing to fight for it?”
Her words cut through the haze of my thoughts, and I nod without hesitation. I’m willing to fight for Ras, for our baby, for a life together. But how?
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” I say, my voice firm.
Cleo nods. “Gem, I’ll take your place.”
I stare at her, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll marry Rafaele.”
My eyes widen. “You can’t,” I sputter. “You hate him. You said you’d rather die than marry him.”
“I can do this. I want to do this for you.” There’s a spark of determination in her gaze. “You’re pregnant with Ras’s kid, for fuck’s sake. I know this doesn’t feel like a good thing at the moment, but it is. Just think about it, Gem. You’re going to have a little baby boy or girl.”
A tiny burst of excitement travels through my bloodstream.
“I’m going to be an aunt, and I’m already feeling protective,” Cleo continues. “All Rafaele wants is to marry into the family to secure his succession, right? What does it matter if he marries me or you? It’s a business transaction for him. As long as the outcome is the same, why would he care which daughter he’s marrying?”
My mind struggles to process the enormity of what she’s suggesting. It’s a crazy idea. There’s no way it would work. “But you’re not a virgin.”
“I am,” she says with a small smirk.
I shake my head. “What are you talking about? Everyone knows about the pizza boy.”
“Danny and I didn’t have sex. I was trying to, but he just kept talking, and so I started taking off my clothes to speed things up. I don’t think he’d ever seen a naked woman before, because he turned all red and told me to get under the covers. I pulled him onto the bed with me, and that’s when Papà walked in. I just said we had sex to piss Papà off.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You lied about it? Cleo, they killed that boy!”
She shakes her head. “They didn’t kill him. His dad’s a cop. I made sure to mention that before they dragged him away.”
My thoughts race with all of this new information. “Rafaele will never believe this story.”
Cleo waves a dismissive hand. “He can get a doctor to check, I don’t care. But he already knows.”
“What?”
“When they picked me up in Ibiza, I was drunk, and I blabbed.” She sits down on the bed and crosses her legs. “Rafaele was lecturing me about walking around on my own. Said it wasn’t safe. I told him I wouldn’t mind getting picked up by a Spanish guy—they’re hot. I said maybe then I’d finally get laid. They wouldn’t waste my time like Danny did. I beat myself up for days afterwards for saying that to Rafaele. You should have seen how he looked at me when he realized what I meant.”
“How?” I ask, my voice a stunned whisper.
“Like I’d just delivered myself to him on a platter. I gave him my secret. I thought he’d threaten to use it against me, but he hasn’t so far. He knows I’m a virgin.”
“So you think he’ll go for this?”
“I think it’s our best bet for getting you out of this mess.”
A flicker of hope appears inside my chest. What if this could really work? If Rafaele agrees to marry Cleo instead of me, I’ll be off the hook.
My instinct is still to say no, because how can I ask my own sister to make a sacrifice like this for me? But I’ve recently learned that my instincts aren’t always right. Sometimes, they’re flat out wrong.
She wants to do this. I can see it in her eyes. Why not accept her help?
“Cleo…” I sit down beside her, unsure of what to do.
“Look, Papà is going to marry me off anyway,” she says. “What difference does it make if it’s Rafaele or someone else? It’s all the same to me. At least this way, I get to help you. I wish I could have helped you all those years when you dealt with Papà’s abuse on your own.” Her eyes glisten. “We can’t change the past, but we can influence our future.”
She waits, watching me as I make this decision. The biggest decision of my life.
It’s so hard to admit that I can’t solve this problem on my own. It’s even harder to accept that to solve it, I’ll need to complicate the lives of others. It feels selfish and uncomfortable. I’ve gotten so good at minimizing my own needs to make everyone else’s lives easier.
But I can’t do that anymore, can I?
I can’t keep putting myself last and pretending like my sacrifices are fulfilling enough for me.
Not if I ever want to have a chance at real happiness.
Taking a deep breath, I make up my mind.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Cleo smiles and pulls me into her arms. “It’ll all work out. I promise.”
I hope she’s right. With Rafaele no longer a problem, all I have to worry about is Papà preventing me from going to Ras.
But can he? I’ll beg Rafaele and Vince for help if I have to. I’ll fight tooth and nail to get to wherever Ras is. I won’t let my parents stop me, because for once, I know exactly what I want and need, and I’m not letting anyone stop me from getting it.