“I’m not a witch, but I know people,” he said gruffly.
Yeah, that was still bugging him. She stifled a smile over how consistent he was. The fact that Mira could use magic to replicate some of his skill set? He was still miffed that she’d done the second-floor hallway and now the paint looked new. In the beginning, he deeply appreciated getting his Walkman fixed and he acted like he was cool with tech magic, but the man wasn’t good at pretending long-term.
“I wonder if the shabby exterior will hurt our chances,” she said.
The old contractor took a seat at the table, skimming the pages. “Probably not the paint, but maybe the rotten gingerbread. It could conceivably be cited as a safety concern. I’m dead certain they’ll say you need a smoke detector on each floor and probably a few carbon monoxide detectors as well.”
“That’s good to know.”
“If you buy those, I can call install ’em for you.”
Ugh. How much will all of that cost? She chose not to search to find out, at least not right now. “You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Whatever I can do to help bring the place up to code, I’m willing to pitch in.” Actually, his expression said he was freaking delighted. His eyes sparkled at the prospect of another project.
Maybe it’s okay to ask.
“Since you offered, on this page, they need precise measurements of every single room in the place. Do you think—？”
“I’ll ask Rowan to give me a hand when they have a minute. We’ll take care of it.”
Henry Dale’s easy use of Rowan’s preferred pronouns made Iris curious, though. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, I can postpone my important business meetings.” Henry Dale pretended to get on his cell phone. “Mildred, cancel my two o’clock and push my three to four. Unfortunately I won’t be able to buy MySpace today after all.”
Iris burst out laughing. “Sally’s rubbing off on you.”
“Hardly. My sense of humor is much sharper. Anyway, what did you want to ask?”
“Some older people complain that they don’t understand and refuse to honor nonbinary pronouns, so I was wondering—”
“Everything comes down to manners,” said Henry Dale. “Maybe I don’t understand, but here’s an example—you meet somebody who says, ‘My name’s Bradley, but everybody calls me Buzz.’ So you call ’em Buzz. You don’t need to understand, do you? They don’t have to share their life story and justify that name. It’s just good manners, so for me, it’s that simple.”
That made a lot of sense, given what she knew about him. “Thanks for telling me.”
“It wasn’t a secret, that’s just how I feel.” Henry Dale had inspections on his mind, though. “Oh, you’ll likely need a fire extinguisher too. Maybe check into how many the house needs to get licensed.”
More dollar signs flashed before her eyes. Iris tried not to panic. I have some room on my card, but I thought renting rooms would help me get out of debt. The barter system had made good sense when she agreed to it; otherwise, the house wouldn’t look nearly as nice as it did now, but there was still a lot of work to be done.
I can’t believe we’re jumping through all these hoops because of one grouchy neighbor.
Nobody else on the block seems to care.
To her surprise, Henry Dale reached over and patted her hand. “I know it seems like a lot, but try making a list. And write down easy tasks for motivation. I enjoy drawing a line through the ones I finish. Maybe it’ll help you too.”
“Couldn’t hurt,” Iris decided.
Doing that also let her procrastinate filling out the licensing application, so she obviously decided to make the checklist first:
Price fire alarms
Price carbon monoxide detectors
Price fire extinguishers
Buy all of the above
Repair rotten gingerbread （somehow）
Fill out forms
Turn in forms
Bribe someone who works for the city
Spin straw into gold???
Henry Dale watched her write things down for a bit, then he tapped the “gingerbread” one. “I have plenty of wood, and I think I can replicate those pieces if you let me take one down to use as a sample. Do you want me to try?”
“If you don’t mind. You’ve already done so much, and I feel like I’m taking advantage.” She should probably decline, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Not when everyone was counting on her to make this work. Screw my pride.
“No, I’m looking forward to it. I found a saw in the shed that makes complicated cuts, and I’ve been wanting to try it.”
“Huh. I wonder why auntie had so many tools.”
“Maybe she lived with someone who used them?”
Iris blinked. While Gertie had never married, Iris had no clue whether she’d always lived alone. Hazel might know more? Although that wasn’t her most pressing concern.
“Anyway,” Henry Dale went on, “I imagine you’re joking about the bribery thing, but it might help if we could get in touch with someone who works for the city.”
“Leanne’s on the city council,” Mira said.
Iris jumped a little, as she hadn’t even heard Mira come in. “Oh wow, you’re home already? How long have I been staring at these forms? What day is it?”
Laughing quietly, Mira sat down at the table. “I’m a professional at forms. Let me fill some of it out. Ah, lots of repeated data blocks. Give me five minutes.”
Henry Dale got up. “That’s my cue. I’ll roust Rowan and start those measurements.”
It took all of Iris’s composure not to burst into tears. She was so bad at…freaking everything, and here her housemates were, taking up the slack. Why am I like this?
“There.” With a satisfied pat, Mira angled the pages so Iris could see the parts she’d filled in. “It’s not as bad as it looks, I swear.”
“The paperwork or my life?” Iris asked wryly.
Mira chuckled. “Would you believe me if I said both?”
Later, Iris put the application in the mailbox and retrieved her mail. She had two letters from a new collection agency, telling her one of her cards had been closed and charged off. Now the real fun would begin. She sucked in a breath and tried not to cry as she opened the statement for the one card she’d managed to keep active. Even the minimum payment was too much.
Right now, everything felt like it was too much.
* * *
When Eli spoke to Henry Dale the next day, he had misgivings about stepping in.
But the more he saw of Iris’s worried face, the less he liked it. They still hadn’t heard from the city, but at least she’d submitted the application. So if the inspector came regarding the complaint, they’d started the approval process. Liz said that should muddy the waters a bit, and at worst, they should receive a fine and time to get their documentation in order.
But Iris would panic if she got fined. Money matters scared the crap out of her since she was already in debt. After wrestling with the issue, Eli decided he couldn’t wait it out. Money could solve a lot of her problems, and he had that. It really was that simple.