I didn’t have the energy to argue.
I wanted to cry.
“If you die, Sadie will kill herself.” I pulled a shard out of my arm. “She isn’t allowed to die.”
My best friend acted all tough, but we both knew that her mates meant everything to her. They’d all suffered and fought for years. They deserved to love one another and have peace.
She deserved more.
Xerxes’s purple eyes glowed at the mention of his mate, and his expression shattered.
He looked at me with sadness and pity as glass shards rained around us.
“Fucking shift now!” I screamed, and tears poured down my face. “I’ll live no matter what. You won’t!”
Glass sliced through my skin, and it hurt.
So badly.
I sobbed.
I didn’t want to live like this.
By some miracle the air around Xerxes shimmered, and a small, fluffy white kitten poked its head out of a pile of clothes.
He’d transformed into his omega form.
I lunged forward, grabbed his little fluffy body, and pulled him onto the cleared-out patch of grass.
I collapsed on all fours on top of him.
On my hands and knees, he was completely sheltered by my body.
Of course, that meant my back was battered by shards of glass. They slammed against my flesh like missiles and dug deep.
The only mercy was that my body was so cold it muted the pain.
It was all I had.
The wind picked up.
The clattering sound intensified as glass fell faster.
Xerxes mewled quietly.
I pressed the top of my head hard into the icy lawn and bit down on my lower lip as I shrieked into closed lips.
Missiles of pain stabbed my flesh.
I cried.
A raspy tongue streaked across my cheek, and I peeked open one eye to find the most adorable face cleaning blood off me.
“Doesn’t even hurt,” I whispered to the kitten as I forced a laugh. “Feels good.”
Shards buried deeper into my wounds.
I cried.
Xerxes whined.
“Totally.” I choked on a sob. “Doing fine.”
I endured.
Time crawled forward, and my mind wandered as my body suffered.
Intense internal debate culminated with one poignant realization: kittens groomed themselves, so Xerxes had most likely eaten his own butt at some point.
I grimaced as he continued to lick my face.
This was the last straw.
“Okay, I’m clean,” I snapped when the little white face got way too close to my lips for my liking.
It made a small growling noise of distress.
My vision wavered, and I almost collapsed as a thick chunk of glass lodged in my shoulder.
“Fine,” I gasped shakily. “Keep cleaning.”
The kitten purred and licked my eyeball with its sandpaper tongue.
Great, now I was blind in one eye.
How mad would Sadie be if I “accidentally” crushed her mate to death? She’d recover. Eventually.
Purring, white fluff jostled closer to groom my forehead. A tiny wet nose booped against mine.
Clothes sliced off my body, my back was skewered with glass, a kitten licked my eyebrow, and a peculiar sense of relief blossomed.
At least I could save one person.
Glass cut through muscle, cartilage, and bone. I sobbed and shivered.
“I’m so proud of you,” Jinx’s voice said in my mind.
Warmth blossomed across my chest as my teeth chattered from the cold.
I hadn’t failed Xerxes.
Not like everyone failed me.
And just maybe…that was enough.
It had to be.
It was all I had left.
The Legionnaire Games: Rebirth
“The path into the light seems dark.”
—Lao Tzu
Chapter 40
Aran
THE CLIMB
Rebirth—Day 56, hour 5
The clattering of glass stopped abruptly. It was as if the realm itself had reached its breaking point and couldn’t handle it anymore.
That or the nurses in the psych ward had increased my medication dosage so I was no longer hallucinating sounds.
You could never tell for sure these days.
Either way, eerie quietness prevailed as the storm dissipated like an obscure nightmare.
I blinked, and the world flickered in and out of focus.
Streaks of scarlet dripped down my chin. The liquid was feverishly warm compared to my chilled flesh.
I’d been on all fours for hours, and my cold muscles were locked into place.
Like I was cosplaying as a cow.
The light of the eclipse trickled through the dark cloud cover and refracted off the piles of glass. The lawn sparkled. Smoke rose in lazy tendrils as the cold abated.
Everything was quiet. Pretty.
Tilting my head to the side, I jolted from pain, and my eyes rolled back from the agony.
In the storm’s aftermath, I was grotesque.
Grotesquely sexy.
A long time ago—ten minutes earlier in the throes of an intense pain induced delusion—I decided that the key to survival was self-confidence.
The reasoning had made sense in the moment.
Down a tunnel far, far, far away, Lothaire’s voice echoed, “The fourth competition is concluded. Competitors must now exit the arena of their own free will.”
Free will is an oxymoron. The universe is nothing but a connection of horrors. Everyone is trapped in an endless loop of suffering. No one can escape.
Oh great, I was getting philosophical.
Never a good sign.
A furry body climbed out from beneath me and then a warm hand touched my shoulder.
I tried to turn my head, but I couldn’t move.
The force of the pain was paralyzing.
My ravaged fingernails dug deeper into moist soil, and the dirt was soaked in blood, water, and fragments of glass.
Across the steaming field, as a crowd spilled out of a concrete building, shouts and fighting echoed. The noises quieted as the mob stood at the edge of the arena and waited.
I dropped my head and inhaled shakily through my nose.
“Your back,” Xerxes said with horror. “There are letters.”
The glass storm had shredded the fabric off my back, and my clothes were hanging in tatters off my body.
“You licked my eyeball,” I whispered brokenly.
There was a shuffling noise and swearing. Xerxes mumbled something about being mentally unwell and knelt beside me as he said, “I can’t carry you. You have to leave of your own free will.”
“Please increase my dosage, I’m still hallucinating,” I said loudly so the nurses in the ward could hear me.
Xerxes grabbed me beneath my armpits.
“Stranger danger!” I shouted, and he jumped back with surprise.
I blinked rapidly and waited for the hallucinating to end.
“I’ll help as much as I can.” Xerxes’s voice cracked. “What you did for me was—there are no words. I will forever be in your debt.”
The hallucinating continued.
Xerxes picked me up by my armpits and held me straight up like a doll.
I narrowed my eyes at him warily and said, “You’re a very emotional man, aren’t you?”
My legs dangled uselessly.
“You’ve been through intense pain,” Xerxes said slowly. “It makes sense that you’re confused and delirious. Just try to stay calm.”
Shredded clothes fell off my frozen body, and I was partially exposed. Glass shards dug into my frozen feet and made my soles burn.
“I’m nude,” I pointed out helpfully.