“The same what?” I ask.
“University,” Oliver says, expanding the abbreviation he’d used. He nods toward Ben. “So, has Ben told you that he knows some BSL?”
“—— so really just the alphabet,” Ben says, smiling at Oliver’s encouragement.
“Really?” I ask.
“Show us!” Simone chimes in.
Before Ben starts signing, out of the corner of my eye I notice Isaac leaning against the bar, gripping his glass tight. He tries to get my attention.
“Want to play a game?” Isaac tilts his head to the pool table, where Natasha and Jaden are getting set up.
I nod several times. “Just a minute!”
Ben is holding out both hands, demonstrating the British Sign Language alphabet. “A, B, C . . . ”
“Weird, it uses two hands,” I say. “That’s different.”
I glance over to the pool table, ready to jump up and play as soon as we make it through the alphabet, but Isaac has already recruited another partner: Mackenzie.
Okay, fine. I’ll stay over here.
I nod and take another sip of my water. I’m definitely going to end up with a headache if I spend the whole night with no sign language or hearing aids, trying to lipread foreign accents.
It’s quarter to midnight when we finally get ready to leave the bar. I’m exhausted from third-wheeling the Brits. There’s only so long you can have an enjoyable chat about American and British differences, especially because what they were saying started to make a lot less sense the drunker they got.
The bartender leans across the counter toward me as she collects my empty water glass. “I’ll be praying ——。”
“What?” I’m confused. Does she know I’m about to drive that beast of a vehicle outside?
She speaks up. “I’ll be praying you all can get your hearing back.”
“Back?” I scrunch up my face. “I never had it,” I say bluntly.
She looks irritated by my reply, so I’m relieved when Ethan tosses me the keys. “Here you go!”
“Really?” I sign.
“You’re fine. It’s not far.”
But it already feels very illegal, since my Illinois driver’s license technically has a minor curfew of ten o’clock. Yet no one else appears fit to drive, so I have to do this.
To make matters worse, it starts raining as soon as we exit the door. Ethan swings open the back door of the van for everyone to crawl in.
I climb into the driver’s seat and try to psych myself up, gripping the steering wheel tight. “Wait, Ethan!” I turn around and flap my arms to get his attention. “I don’t have my glasses!”
His eyes go wide. “Shit. Uh, try these.” He hands up the pair he’s been wearing. They’re huge on me, but the prescription seems close enough. And we have no other options.
“Okay, well. Here goes nothing.” I turn the key, and the blaring music picks up where it left off.
“Whoooo!” one of the Brits screams.
“Wait, baby Lilah, I’ll help you.” Bobby makes his way from the back to the passenger seat.
“What are you doing?” I ask, leaving the van in Park until Bobby settles.
“I’ll keep watch for deer.” He holds his hands to his eyes like binoculars.
“Shut up, Bobby, you’re drunk.” Is the whole group really this sloshed?
At first, I drive down the road slower than slow, but I pick up the speed when I remember you can also get pulled over for going below the limit. It’s dark and there are no streetlights, so I turn on the high beams, growing nervous with every deer-crossing sign I pass. There are so many trees along the road, something could easily jump out from behind them. And I can’t figure out the windshield wipers. They either go too fast or too slow for the fluctuating rainfall. I clench my teeth and carefully watch the road. Yet no one in this party bus seems to doubt my ability to get us home.
Somehow, after what feels like an eternity, I manage to get us back to camp in one piece. The rain has subsided into a drizzle. Everyone jumps out of the vehicle. Adrenaline is still coursing through me as I toss the keys and glasses back to Ethan and climb out of the van. “Never again.”
“You did it!” Oliver cheers, wrapping me in a big hug and lifting me off the ground.
“You didn’t kill us!” Ben adds.
Oliver puts me down and gives a theatrical bow. “We owe you a debt of gratitude for ——。”
“Shh, go to sleep,” I say, laughing at his performance. “You have work in the morning.”
“Mwah!” He plants a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek, then reaches for Ben’s hand. But before the two can walk to their cabin together, Oliver glances at someone behind me. “Whoops, sorry, love. Didn’t mean to anger your boyfriend.”
“My what?” I turn around and find Isaac, the only other sober one here, standing still in the parking lot. Is he waiting for me? He’s fidgeting with his hands, not meeting my eyes.
“Hey,” I say, approaching Isaac as everyone else leaves for their cabins.
He shifts around the gravel in front of him with the tip of his sneaker before looking up at me. “I don’t understand.”
I tilt my head, summoning patience as I wait for him to say something else. But he’s taking too long. “Understand what?”
“You.”
“Me?” I ask. He shakes his head and looks down. I wave my hand out and ask another question. “What do you mean?”
He takes a deep breath. “You said you liked me?” He leaves his hand against his chest while signing with the other. “But . . . ” He waves, exasperated, in the direction of where I was standing with Oliver.
“My friend? That I hung out with because you didn’t wait for me to play the game tonight?” My hands are flying. I’m the one who was open with my feelings. He has no reason to be coming at me like this. “You’re confusing me. Yes, I said that I like you. But you never said you like me.”
“I’m trying. We hung out with my friends last night. We talked all afternoon.” He runs a hand back through his hair.
“I don’t know!” I sign, flinging my hand out from my forehead, unable to think of a more coherent response. It really all boils down to one thing. “I don’t know. You never said it back.”
“With action, showing, doing—not words.” He drops his arms and takes a few steps up the path.
I wipe rain droplets from my face, smudging the little mascara I’d applied back when I’d expected a fun evening with Isaac. I jog after him and tap on his shoulder. “I don’t understand what you want.”
“I need to say it?” he asks.
We’re standing close, alone on this dark path, the moon finally shining out from behind the rain clouds. I step closer to him. “It would help.” I pull the sign tight to my chest in the small space between us.
He’s watching my lips, and this time I’m not saying anything.
Slowly, he leans forward, eyes never straying, but he hesitates and stops a few inches away from me with his mouth slightly open. I can feel his breath on my lips. I drop my hands, my right arm swinging forward to touch his hand. He catches it and laces our fingers together.