My lungs are aching like my heart is.
And then I black out.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
I jerk awake with a fright, swinging my arms at the person I feel near me.
“Yer okay. Yer fine,” says a voice I used to love, and my eyes spring open. He holds his hands out gently, trying to placate me. “Yer okay. A’m here.” Jamison shakes his head. “It’s just me.”
I sit up quickly, staring around the room. “What am I doing here?” I stare over at him.
“Ye passed out.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Why did you bring me here?”
His face pulls. “Where else would I hae brought ye?”
I look down at myself, then realise I’m not wearing what I had on before. “Where are my clothes?” I ask the dress I’m wearing, not him.
“Ye were soaked through.” He shrugs. “I changed ye. I just—”
I swallow, glaring over at him. “You took my clothes off my unconscious body and—”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “Bow, I’ve seen ye wi’out clothes on before—”
“Yes, but that was before!” I yell.
“Before what?” He stares at me, and he looks—for whatever reason—genuinely confused.
And then his head drops.
He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and breathes out heavy.
“Ye heard us?” he says, his eyes not meeting mine.
I don’t say anything, just look at him like the traitor he is. My eyes give me away, going all glassy and stupid.
Jamison’s head tilts when he sees it, and he sighs. “He collects the abstract,” he tells me.
I nod once. “Figured that out myself.” I press my lips together. “How did you cut my binds? Rune couldn’t do it. How did y—”
“Blood magic,” he says, chin low. “We’re of the same line.” He swallows. “I can sever them.”
I look down at my wrists that are all cut up and rope-burned from my trying to get out of them myself.
Jem wipes the corner of his eye. He sniffs as he nods over to me. “Ye took off yer necklace.”
I give him a look. “Of course I took the necklace off.”
“Aye, but I told ye to keep it fucking on,” he yells now.
I jump to my feet. “Why would I keep it on?”
“’Acause it made everything ye are invisible t’ him!” he shouts. He breathes in and out a couple of times. He quiets himself. “It was spelled.”
I cross my arms again, chest heavy because I won’t let it cry. “If that’s true, when I took mine off, he should have seen that there’s nothing left of me anyway.”
He sighs again and looks sad in a way that hurts me. “Innocence, Daph.” He swallows. “If he knew you were—”
My face flickers. “I’m not.”
“Sure, yer no’ a virgin anymore.” Jamison gives me a look. “But y’are innocent.” He rolls his eyes a little bit and looks annoyed. “It’s a means to control women, that old trope. Virginity equates purity and innocence. Yer man’s friend is a virgin, sure. But there’s nothing pure about her.”
I give him a wave of my hand and an impatient look.
“I was trying t’ protect ye, Daph.” He looks for my eyes. “I didn’t mean it.”
I suck on my bottom lip, staring over at him. My eyes go big and round. “You were very convincing.”
He shrugs like he can’t help it. “I’m a good liar.”
“Oh.” I force a smile. “Well, that’s good to know.”
“Daph.” He drops his head into his hands. “You have to know I d?dnae mean it—”
“How would I know that?” I square my shoulders. “There have been too many times when I’ve seen you without you knowing I was there, and none of those times were you the person who you are when you’re alone with me.”
He shakes his head. “Because a’m better when I’m with ye,” he says in a quiet voice.
I shrug as though I’m indifferent. “Or because you’re lying when you’re with me.”
He rolls his eyes, impatient. “Why would I be lying when I’m wi’ ye?”
I shrug again, as though it’s a thought I’m just thinking now, as though it’s not been the question torturing me since I began wondering about it. “Maybe you collect things too.”
“Sure, yeah,” He nods, properly annoyed now. “And what did I collect from ye?”