“I need more time,” she said. “Thanks.”
The server left. I put my hand back in my pocket to take out the ring but Cassandra picked up her phone again.
This was proving to be more complicated than I’d thought. I’d figured all I had to do was get a ring, take her to dinner, and give it to her. But now that we were here, everything seemed slightly off.
She set her phone down and took a drink of her wine. I decided it was go time, but instead of worrying about the ring, I just opened my mouth to get her attention before she could get distracted by work again.
But right as I started to say her name, she spoke.
“Josiah, I think we should talk.”
I was not known for being in touch with my feelings—or having feelings—but that was a phrase that could make any man’s stomach clench with an icy spasm of dread.
“About what?”
She took a deep breath. “I got a job offer. It’s a promotion. A big one.”
“That’s great.” It was good news. So why did I still feel so tense?
“Thanks.” She smiled. “I didn’t even tell you I was applying because I assumed I didn’t have a chance.”
“Why would you assume that? You’re amazing.”
“I don’t know. It just seemed like such a long shot. There had to have been so many applicants.”
I reached across the table and took her hand. “Then they made the right choice.”
Her smile grew but just as quickly, it faded. She pulled her hand away. “The thing is, it’s outside San Francisco.”
It took a second for the implications to register. “So it’s not remote? You have to move?”
She nodded.
My problem-solving brain kicked in, a list of options with pros and cons already forming. “Okay. When?”
“They want me there as soon as possible. I’ll stay in corporate housing until I find a place. So, next week.”
I leaned back. “That fast?”
She nodded again.
“Okay.” I tapped a finger on the table. The server came back but I gave him a hard glare and he backed away. “San Francisco isn’t Mars. We can make it work.”
“Oh, Josiah.”
“What? It’s not ideal but we can figure it out.”
She pressed her lips together but didn’t say anything.
The icy dread settled over me, like a chill freezing me from the inside. “You don’t want to figure it out, do you?”
“I just don’t see how. Your whole life is here. Your work and your family. Could you really see yourself relocating to a different state?”
“Were you going to give me the chance to answer that question for myself?”
“I know you. You wouldn’t be happy in San Francisco.”
I stared at her for a moment. “So you didn’t think we should talk about it? You already accepted the position.”
“Of course I did. I couldn’t pass this up.”
I nodded slowly. I supported her career—always had. It made her happy and that was great.
But I’d kind of thought I made her happy, too.
My hand skimmed over the outside of my pants pocket, the outline of the ring indistinct through the fabric. Maybe I shouldn’t have thought she’d choose me over a promotion. But I realized as I looked at her that I had. I’d thought we would be in this together.
Apparently I’d been wrong.
The hollow ache in my chest made it hard to breathe. Cassandra hadn’t put the ache there—she hadn’t given me that wound. But she was sure as hell ripping it wide open again.
“I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Her tone took on a hint of defensiveness. “You grew up here so this is just normal life to you. But this town is too small for me. I can’t stay here for the rest of my life.”
“No, I get it.” I turned my gaze toward the front door; I couldn’t look her in the eyes anymore. “You need to do what’s best for you. And what’s best for you isn’t me.”
“Don’t make this about you. This is about my career, my dreams. I’m finally getting somewhere.”
For a moment, I thought about taking the ring out and setting it on the table, so she’d know. So she’d see what she was giving up.
But I didn’t. It wouldn’t matter. She didn’t want that life, and more importantly, she didn’t want me.
I got up and tossed some money on the table to cover what we’d ordered. She started to protest, telling me to sit down. I ignored her. I was done. Without a word, I walked out and didn’t look back.