“Sadie,” I snapped.
“What?”
“We’re in here because I don’t have a soul. I’m a soulless monster—I’m missing my fucking soul.”
Stunned silence.
“So you don’t want me to give you the skin cream recommendation?”
“No.”
She patted my back. “I will admit, sometimes I also feel soulless because I struggle with making moral choices. I think it’s because of extended time with Cobra, but—”
“No.” I cut her off. “I’m actually missing my soul. I have a hole inside my chest.” I thumped against my sternum.
“Okay, let’s not panic,” Sadie said calmly. “Explain.”
My voice quivered. “The betrothal jewels the twins gave me are linked to souls, and apparently, enchanted jewels can be sentient.”
The jewel of death pulsed against my chest and diamonds vibrated on my wrist as if agreeing with my statement.
I continued, “The twins said that for some unknown reason, the jewelry I’m wearing has gone ahead and completed the bond between us.”
I let Sadie process what I was saying and waited for her to make the obvious connections.
“You got married without telling me?” she asked shrilly. “I was going to be your maid of honor and give a funny speech. I’ve already written it.”
She burst into tears, then started wailing at a heinous pitch.
I pushed my pipe deeper into my mouth.
Why I’d thought Sadie would ever react like I expected was beyond me. I rubbed circles on her back as she sobbed and said, “Let it out.”
“It’s just really hard.” She gasped, dug around in the boxes, then blew her nose loudly on what I could only hope was a tissue. “You would have been such a beautiful bride—do you know how this makes me feel?”
“Um.”
“Horrible. Dejected. Shattered.”
I drawled, “Oh yes, me being married against my will while fighting against monsters—by sentient jewelry, that is apparently killing the men I’m tied to because I’m probably missing my soul—is hard for you.”
I slapped her on the back of the head.
She sniffled. “Are you being sarcastic?”
“Not at all,” I said.
She did loud breathing exercises, then said, “I can’t have this conversation until you promise you’ll still have a ceremony and I get to be your maid of honor.”
Three point one, four, one, five, nine, two, six, five, three, five, eight, nine. The numbers of pi helped give me some perspective.
“Fine,” I agreed. “I’ll have a wedding just for you.”
Sadie squealed and chucked herself at me. I fought against her hug, but she must have channeled her shifter strength, because she pinned me to the icy floor.
“You’re going to make the most beautiful bride,” she whispered into my ear. “Also, I want to wear a white bridesmaid’s dress.”
“Get off me.”
She chuckled and pulled away.
“Can we please now talk about this seriously?” I asked. “I’m kind of panicking.”
“I understand.” Sadie sniffled. “I was really freaking out about your wedding. It really took a toll on me.”
“I’m glad you recovered,” I said sarcastically.
“Me too.” She patted my head. “And you’re very brave for talking about your jewelry issue. I’m proud of you.”
“The twins have been sick lately,” I whispered.
Guilt twisted in my stomach because I should have told them the extent of my problems. I never should have pretended I was a normal woman who could do something as mundane as have husbands.
Mother’s cruel smile flashed in my mind.
“Soul bonds go both ways,” I said. “You have connections to your mates’ souls, and you can feel their emotions. Good and bad. That’s what you have with your mates, right?”
“Yeah,” she said.
Smoke whistled through my lips. “I don’t feel anything from the twins, and all they feel is my pain. Every time I’m aroused, they feel pain in their backs, just like I do. The jewels didn’t work properly because they’re attuned to souls—and I don’t have one.”
“That seems like a logical leap.”
“It’s not.” My voice cracked. “I’m empty, so there’s no soul to join. It connected them to the only thing I’ve ever had.”
“Which is?” Sadie asked with confusion.