I covered my mouth with horror.
“But it doesn’t sound like Aran’s voice,” Sadie argued.
Jinx shook her head and looked morose. “Of course it’s not her speaking voice—it’s a piece of her soul. Although, I’ve always found it surprising that you hear it as a voice, it must be your body recognizing that it’s a pattern of thinking separate from your own. However, there must be a fundamental compatibility between you two that defies physics for it to guide you like it does. A specialized analytical piece of Aran tries to save you from the inside—it’s mind-blowing if you think about it.”
I reached over and grabbed Sadie’s hand.
We looked at each other.
We were bonded in friendship down to our very souls.
It was almost heartwarming, if horrendous soul mutilation could ever be called such a thing.
Our hands were shaking as we held each other.
“But Dick was the one who whipped me—” Sadie’s voice filled with horror. “Is he the leader?”
Jinx’s voice was monotone. “I’ve been enchanted not to disclose the names of the leaders.”
“He looked me in the eye and lied to me,” Sadie snarled. “No wonder that halo thing they gave me never did anything. It was all a ruse to make me compliant in their games.”
I shivered even though it was feverishly warm.
“What’s the point of it all?” Sadie asked.
Jinx shrugged. “Control of the realms. Politics. Power. War.” Her eyes were deadened. “The usual things.”
“My depression?” I asked, my voice exploding louder than I’d meant to speak.
“You’re missing a piece of your soul,” Jinx stated softly.
“That’s why our guardian connection is so unreliable,” I said numbly. “That’s why the soul bond with the twins only shows pain.”
“Correct,” Jinx said tiredly.
Muted colors. Empty feelings. My mind palace had gaps when I was fourteen years old. I thought I was abducted by aliens. Dick and the hooded man were always around.
So many things made sense.
I asked, “What was the voice that overtook the people and spoke in rhymes to Sadie and me?”
Jinx sighed heavily. “Members of the Angel Consciousness that worked with the High Court to guide you.”
I fired off another question. “I’ve heard a male voice speak to me when I’ve done…things.”
“The leader.” Jinx scoffed. “They couldn’t forge a mental connection, so they tried to actually speak aloud to you.”
Dick was nearby when I’d ate my mother’s heart. He was also nearby when I killed in the beast realm. Both times that I’d heard a voice.
“Did it cause the bond sickness?” I asked warily.
Jinx picked at the rubble. “I don’t think so. It seems to be a genuine effect of how the kings treated you. It was probably fixed when you bonded to the twins because your soul changed.”
That was also my deduction.
“The reason I can’t fly?” I asked. “The ice I can’t control?”
Jinx shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not omniscient.”
My head spun.
I couldn’t think of anything else to ask.
Sadie spoke up. “You said there were four discarded players used to make your adoption to Jax’s family legitimate.” Her raspy voice had an edge to it I’d never heard. “There is only Jess and Jala…who are the other two?”
Jinx didn’t answer.
The energy shifted, and suddenly the sweltering room felt freezing.
“Jen and Jan,” Jinx whispered, her voice barely audible. “They were twins.”
“What happened to them?” Sadie asked.
“Randomly, some people are immune to my—abilities. Like Warren. I don’t know why or how it happens.”
Sadie stated harshly, “They were immune. What did you do?”
Jinx’s eyes were wide like she’d seen a ghost. Her broken fingers tangled in the fabric of her ripped shirt. She said nothing.
“What happened to them?” Sadie asked, her voice hard as steel.
“The leader killed them because I couldn’t wipe their memories.” Her voice cracked. “I tried to save them.” She shuddered. “But he killed them.”
“You wiped our memories,” I whispered. “We don’t even know their names.”
Sadie covered her mouth as she made a wounded noise.
Jinx curled up like she was trying to make herself smaller and whispered, “They made me do it. And now you’ll never be able to remember.”