He clears his throat. “She’s okay, I guess,” he finally answers, his voice low and rough.
We both say nothing as the couple on the screen gets down to business. Moaning sounds fill the room. The two stars have evolved from kissing to getting naked. It’s excruciating to watch with Chase so near. A cold sweat prickles my body.
“That must be fun for the actor—getting paid to kiss pretty girls,” I say.
I feel his gaze on me instead of on the screen. “You’d think doing those scenes would be sexy, but it’s just awkward,” he says. “There are dozens of people watching, and you’re worried about how your costar feels, getting so intimate with you. You’re thinking about your lines, your angles, hitting your marks, making it look good. I’ve done more than a few now, and it’s always uncomfortable as hell.”
“But in The Wanderers, your romantic costar was your girlfriend, right? Or is? That had to make it easier.” I can’t help asking. Subtle, Olivia.
I need to know, though, because here I am on the couch with Chase, dreaming of him kissing me again, which I shouldn’t be doing if he’s another woman’s man. He doesn’t act like it, but then again, cheating in Hollywood is probably not as big of a deal as it is in the rest of the world.
“She was for a while.”
Was. As in past tense. Good.
“What happened?” I glance at him. He’s not watching the movie anymore. And I give up the pretense of it as well, focusing all my attention on him.
“We were young and in this weird bubble where we had no time for an outside life. We just filmed the movies and promoted them. We’d go from city to city on the tour, but we were mostly trapped in hotels. We had a lot of time alone together, and we helped each other through an experience that no one else could understand.” He shrugs. “It was convenient, I guess, until it wasn’t.”
He looks away, so I turn back to the screen, relieved that the movie has moved on to a fight scene. I can’t help my curiosity, though. Blame the nosy writer in me. “What changed to make it inconvenient?”
“Honestly? Dating me sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone I liked. Even someone as famous as Cassidy struggled with it, and she’s been in the spotlight since before she could walk. Her social media turned into a bloodbath. Gossip blogs made up crazy lies and conspiracy theories, which kept getting picked up by the tabloids. Because we were also an on-screen couple, we had a lot of fans of our relationship who were obsessed with us. They still are. They trash any girl I’m even photographed next to.”
He clenches his jaw. “It all got too much for Cassidy, and I don’t blame her. Relationships aren’t a good idea for me.”
“So, you’re just never going to be with anyone?” I shouldn’t be so disappointed. It’s not like we were going to walk off into the sunset together.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, I can be with someone. Just not in a relationship. And only with girls who know the way Hollywood works and can handle the life.” His gaze shifts down. “I don’t want someone I care about to get hurt because of me,” he says softly.
Like Daisy did, I think.
I’m definitely not the Hollywood kind of girl he’s talking about, the only kind he dates. My heart does another sad little flip. I need my heart to get a clue.
“It’s a lonely way to live.” An uncomfortable thought occurs to me—that hiding behind my writing and books, falling for unavailable men, is just as lonely.
He shrugs. “It is what it is, at least for now. And the few girls I reach that level with know this upfront.” His eyes boldly meet mine.
Are his words a warning?
Or a promise?
Could I be a girl he’s with, even just for a night? I don’t meet the Hollywood standard, but I’m here with him now, and he isn’t exactly running the other way.
A night with Chase, if I were lucky enough to have one, would be worth any pain that follows.
“Maybe when The Wanderers movies are done, your life will be a little less crazy? You just finished the last one, right?”
He hesitates, as if debating if he should say something. “I’m up for the role of Max Thunder.” He looks away and runs a hand through his hair. “They want to go with a younger lead, do his origin story, for the next movies in the series.”
I gasp. Legit gasp. That’s how big that part is. Even I, whose favorite movies are black-and-white, know that. Max Thunder is the lead in the most famous spy thriller franchise of the last fifty years. It’s an iconic role in cinema. If Chase is going to step into those shoes, he’ll be at the very top of the A-list, even bigger than he is now, and on the cover of the tabloids forever.